I was sitting behind some old guy on the bus on Sunday night. I am a terrible shoulder-over-reader, or whatever you want to call it, and I noticed that the dude was reading that how-to on setting up your own Islamofascism Awareness Week. As has been previously noted by myself, I am not up on the current crop of wingnuts. I am more likely to recognize Nixon era people than any present day wingnuts. We got off at the same stop and I wonder if I am neighbors with another crazy right wing pundit or if he was just a Dean from one of the five (six? seven?) universities in DC reading up on threats to campus security.
UPDATE: UM, so like facism means to like get all up in someone's face or something. Maybe with a Facebook account? I should fucking retire or maybe sleep more and drink less coffee. OR MAYBE GET A DICTIONARY AND READ IT? Shut up, Baxter.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
President Bush Whines: Congress Isn't Giving Me Exactly What I Wanted For Christmas, Or Tuesday
President Bush blasted the Democratic-controlled Congress on Tuesday for having "the worst record in 20 years [including the months and months Congress spent on impeachment proceedings against President Clinton]."
"Congress is not getting it's work done," Bush said, flanked by members of the Republican House leadership. "The House of Representatives has wasted valuable time on a constant stream of investigations, and the Senate has wasted valuable time on an endless series of failed votes to pull our troops out of Iraq. They have only legalized my illegal warrantless wiretapping program, attempted to grant immunity to the telecoms and failed to override my veto of that thing what was gonna give kids health care."
Bush criticized Congress for not being able to send "a single appropriations bill" to him. He also criticized Congress for not being able to clean up his room, bring him properly chewy chocolate chip cookies, for not patting him on the back when he remembered to wipe, and for not keeping Senator Craig away from him when he was busy wiping.
"They haven't seen a bill they could not solve without shoving a tax hike into it and let me tell you, I am sick and tired of all this vetoing lately, that stamp is frigging heavy. Just give me a bill I can sign," he said.
Democrats quickly fired back. Jim Manley, senior aide to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, said, "Taking advice from President Bush about fiscal responsibility and getting things done for the American people is like taking hunting lessons from Dick Cheney. Neither is a very good idea. It probably wasn't a good idea to legalize the grossest violation of the Bill of Rights but we are all about bipartisan cooperation which means you have to give a little to get a little. Or get nothing, in this case."
Rep. Rahm Emanuel, D-Illinois, issued a statement saying, "President Bush's rally this morning reminds us that congressional Republicans remain ready and willing to rubber-stamp the Bush agenda, despite the Democratic Party's rush to do it first: No to children's health care; no to a new direction in Iraq; and no to investing in America's future. The White House and congressional Republicans want to continue the status quo without Democrats, even though we bend over backwards to fulfill their wishes. We would appreciate just a little recognition of all of our efforts to advance the new conservative agenda."
Bush said the Senate was "wasting valuable time" by taking up the children's health insurance bill, which he had earlier vetoed. "They should have been buying me some of those sweet new Naruto DVDs. That show is AWESOME!"
Democrats quickly fired back. House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, D-Maryland, issued a statement calling Bush "a huge asshole and the biggest obstacle" to extending health coverage to "10 million low-income, working-class American children while acting like the biggest child in America."
Hoyer said GOP House leaders need to "stop posing for pictures, stop the late night meetings in the Capital Building's bathrooms and sit down with Democrats and Republicans in Congress who are actually working and working together to extend coverage to our children. In other words, stop being a bunch of childish cobagz."
The State Children's Health Insurance Program measure passed in the House last week would expand the program by nearly $35 billion over five years, the same as the measure Bush vetoed on October 3. Bush had proposed adding $5 billion to the program, and said the version he vetoed would have encouraged families to go back on welfare and buy huge mansions with pools filled with champagne. He also said that SCHIP would force private practice doctors to give your child's medicine to a random street urchin and force your pediatrician to deliberately give your children autism and the cancer.
Democratic leaders said the new version addresses Republican objections by tightening restrictions on illegal immigrants receiving SCHIP benefits; capping the income levels of families that qualify for the program; preventing adults from receiving benefits; all while simultaneously satisfying Republican demands for an uneducated work force with a shortened lifespan.
The program currently covers about 6 million children whose parents earn too much to qualify for Medicaid, the federal health insurance program for the working poor [a title Republicans describe as "mythological"], but who can't afford private insurance. Democrats want to extend the program to another 4 million, paying for it with a 61-cent-per-pack increase in the federal tax on cigarettes. Republicans have argued that health insurance is not that expensive and one anonymous Capital Hill staffer said "Besides, anyone can just setup a direct monthly payment easily enough by asking their accountant to route those bills through the average trust fund."
Bush said Congress knows the current version of the children's health bill "does not have a chance," to get enough votes to override another veto, also "that bill is so lame I bet it uses crutches."
Hoyer accused Bush of breaking a promise he made in 2004 to extend coverage under the SCHIP program. "Now, Congress must do what the president said he would do," he said in his statement, "because he is damn, dirty, pinky-swear breakin' motherfucker. I am so sick of his whining bullshit."
The Senate could vote on the bill as early as Tuesday.
Bush also threatened to veto a "three-bill pileup. If I see one a those coming down the turnpike, I'm gonna get out my big veto tank and drive right over the sucker. Perhaps I'll get some of those awesome luchadores to come up here and pile drive a Congressional Bill Pileup. I don't fuck around with this sorta shit all up in my face. I'm from the streets, beee-OTCH."
"There are now reports that Congressional leaders may be considering combining the Veterans and Department of Defense appropriations bills, into some kind of Frankenstein bill and if Congress then add a bloated labor, health and education spending bill to both of them, " he said he would, "call out a whole host of ro-beasts to kill that Voltron-like Mega-Bill. I'll go all kinds of Power Rangers ninja-shit on any kinda bill I don't like."
"Congress should pass each bill one at a time in a fiscally responsible manner," he said, adding, "Don't make me call my mother about this, she'll kick you in the nuts, Hoho Hoyer."
Bush also urged Congress to send him a "clean defense appropriations bill and a war supplemental bill because I need my money to keep that awesome war movie going. Have you seen Black Hawk Down? That shit was fucking kick ass and I want more of it."
"They ought to get me a bill that funds among other things bullets and body armor, well maybe not body armor," he said. Bush also criticized Congress for trying to "hold hostage" funding for troops. "I have already stated how much I like action movies. I have already seen Band of Brothers like 50 times this month. Gimme my money!"
"It would be irresponsible to not give our troops the resources they need to get their job done because Congress was being a bunch of jerks and, uh, 'unable to get its job done' and shit," he said.
Hoyer's release said Bush's comments on appropriations bills and fiscal responsibility "ring hollow and frankly, make me think our President might not be all there. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, if you know what I mean."
"The fact is, this administration has pursued the most fiscally irresponsible policies in American history, turning record surpluses into record deficits and adding more than $3 trillion to the national debt, " he said. "I don't know how to state the fact any clearer, President Bush is a threat to national security, is destroying our economy, is keeping his disadvantaged supporters stuck in poverty and may even be a complete and total moron."
"Democrats are the party of fiscal responsibility today because we believe our government must pay for the things it purchases and not force our children to pay our bills. The fight over 2008 appropriations bills is not a fight over spending. It is a fight over priorities."
Its not plagiarism if its used satirically!
"Congress is not getting it's work done," Bush said, flanked by members of the Republican House leadership. "The House of Representatives has wasted valuable time on a constant stream of investigations, and the Senate has wasted valuable time on an endless series of failed votes to pull our troops out of Iraq. They have only legalized my illegal warrantless wiretapping program, attempted to grant immunity to the telecoms and failed to override my veto of that thing what was gonna give kids health care."
Bush criticized Congress for not being able to send "a single appropriations bill" to him. He also criticized Congress for not being able to clean up his room, bring him properly chewy chocolate chip cookies, for not patting him on the back when he remembered to wipe, and for not keeping Senator Craig away from him when he was busy wiping.
"They haven't seen a bill they could not solve without shoving a tax hike into it and let me tell you, I am sick and tired of all this vetoing lately, that stamp is frigging heavy. Just give me a bill I can sign," he said.
Democrats quickly fired back. Jim Manley, senior aide to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, said, "Taking advice from President Bush about fiscal responsibility and getting things done for the American people is like taking hunting lessons from Dick Cheney. Neither is a very good idea. It probably wasn't a good idea to legalize the grossest violation of the Bill of Rights but we are all about bipartisan cooperation which means you have to give a little to get a little. Or get nothing, in this case."
Rep. Rahm Emanuel, D-Illinois, issued a statement saying, "President Bush's rally this morning reminds us that congressional Republicans remain ready and willing to rubber-stamp the Bush agenda, despite the Democratic Party's rush to do it first: No to children's health care; no to a new direction in Iraq; and no to investing in America's future. The White House and congressional Republicans want to continue the status quo without Democrats, even though we bend over backwards to fulfill their wishes. We would appreciate just a little recognition of all of our efforts to advance the new conservative agenda."
Bush said the Senate was "wasting valuable time" by taking up the children's health insurance bill, which he had earlier vetoed. "They should have been buying me some of those sweet new Naruto DVDs. That show is AWESOME!"
Democrats quickly fired back. House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, D-Maryland, issued a statement calling Bush "a huge asshole and the biggest obstacle" to extending health coverage to "10 million low-income, working-class American children while acting like the biggest child in America."
Hoyer said GOP House leaders need to "stop posing for pictures, stop the late night meetings in the Capital Building's bathrooms and sit down with Democrats and Republicans in Congress who are actually working and working together to extend coverage to our children. In other words, stop being a bunch of childish cobagz."
The State Children's Health Insurance Program measure passed in the House last week would expand the program by nearly $35 billion over five years, the same as the measure Bush vetoed on October 3. Bush had proposed adding $5 billion to the program, and said the version he vetoed would have encouraged families to go back on welfare and buy huge mansions with pools filled with champagne. He also said that SCHIP would force private practice doctors to give your child's medicine to a random street urchin and force your pediatrician to deliberately give your children autism and the cancer.
Democratic leaders said the new version addresses Republican objections by tightening restrictions on illegal immigrants receiving SCHIP benefits; capping the income levels of families that qualify for the program; preventing adults from receiving benefits; all while simultaneously satisfying Republican demands for an uneducated work force with a shortened lifespan.
The program currently covers about 6 million children whose parents earn too much to qualify for Medicaid, the federal health insurance program for the working poor [a title Republicans describe as "mythological"], but who can't afford private insurance. Democrats want to extend the program to another 4 million, paying for it with a 61-cent-per-pack increase in the federal tax on cigarettes. Republicans have argued that health insurance is not that expensive and one anonymous Capital Hill staffer said "Besides, anyone can just setup a direct monthly payment easily enough by asking their accountant to route those bills through the average trust fund."
Bush said Congress knows the current version of the children's health bill "does not have a chance," to get enough votes to override another veto, also "that bill is so lame I bet it uses crutches."
Hoyer accused Bush of breaking a promise he made in 2004 to extend coverage under the SCHIP program. "Now, Congress must do what the president said he would do," he said in his statement, "because he is damn, dirty, pinky-swear breakin' motherfucker. I am so sick of his whining bullshit."
The Senate could vote on the bill as early as Tuesday.
Bush also threatened to veto a "three-bill pileup. If I see one a those coming down the turnpike, I'm gonna get out my big veto tank and drive right over the sucker. Perhaps I'll get some of those awesome luchadores to come up here and pile drive a Congressional Bill Pileup. I don't fuck around with this sorta shit all up in my face. I'm from the streets, beee-OTCH."
"There are now reports that Congressional leaders may be considering combining the Veterans and Department of Defense appropriations bills, into some kind of Frankenstein bill and if Congress then add a bloated labor, health and education spending bill to both of them, " he said he would, "call out a whole host of ro-beasts to kill that Voltron-like Mega-Bill. I'll go all kinds of Power Rangers ninja-shit on any kinda bill I don't like."
"Congress should pass each bill one at a time in a fiscally responsible manner," he said, adding, "Don't make me call my mother about this, she'll kick you in the nuts, Hoho Hoyer."
Bush also urged Congress to send him a "clean defense appropriations bill and a war supplemental bill because I need my money to keep that awesome war movie going. Have you seen Black Hawk Down? That shit was fucking kick ass and I want more of it."
"They ought to get me a bill that funds among other things bullets and body armor, well maybe not body armor," he said. Bush also criticized Congress for trying to "hold hostage" funding for troops. "I have already stated how much I like action movies. I have already seen Band of Brothers like 50 times this month. Gimme my money!"
"It would be irresponsible to not give our troops the resources they need to get their job done because Congress was being a bunch of jerks and, uh, 'unable to get its job done' and shit," he said.
Hoyer's release said Bush's comments on appropriations bills and fiscal responsibility "ring hollow and frankly, make me think our President might not be all there. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, if you know what I mean."
"The fact is, this administration has pursued the most fiscally irresponsible policies in American history, turning record surpluses into record deficits and adding more than $3 trillion to the national debt, " he said. "I don't know how to state the fact any clearer, President Bush is a threat to national security, is destroying our economy, is keeping his disadvantaged supporters stuck in poverty and may even be a complete and total moron."
"Democrats are the party of fiscal responsibility today because we believe our government must pay for the things it purchases and not force our children to pay our bills. The fight over 2008 appropriations bills is not a fight over spending. It is a fight over priorities."
Its not plagiarism if its used satirically!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Halloween Costume Aborted Due to Lack of Decent Cowboy Apparel
I could not locate anything that would look even remotely like the New Jersey Kid. I failed. Instead, I present the Cufflinks of a Time Lord:
Nous Non Plus in Slovenian Cell Commercial
And more Bjorn Turuoque from the 2005 World Championships:
Saturday, October 27, 2007
FEMA: Fallacious Emergency Management Agency
Briana alerted me to this lovely little news item. FEMA deputy administrator Harvey Johnson apologized for the agency's FAKE NEWS CONFERENCE about the California fires. They meant well, honest they did. The thing is FEMA had answers about the wildfires to the huge volume of questions they claim to have received and decided against having an actual press conference or issuing a press release. Apparently, the fastest way to answer these pressing, urgent, dire questions was to have FEMA employees pose as reporters and ask these questions of Johnson. You can really feel the anguish of those evacuated residents in questions like "Are you happy with FEMA's response so far?" and statements that clearly stated that this was a new FEMA and in no way were they bungling this situation like they did Hurricane Katrina. It is indeed different from Katrina, this time it's fire and wealthier suburbanites who can get themselves out of harm's way. I don't know if I am the man to give a true color commentary on this situation.
All the while, real reporters listened on a telephone conference line and were barred from asking questions. This is definitely a new FEMA and they have indeed learned from Katrina. They learned that a free press has no right to go digging through their business and should be happy to get the scraps FEMA tosses their way. The creeping effect of the White House Press Room has spread far. This is not an apple falling far from the tree, it is the rot at the center erupting on the surface.
"It is not a practice that we would employ here at the White House," said Press Secretary Dana Perino, mentioning three times that it was an "error in judgment." "It's not something I would have condoned, and they, I'm sure, will not do it again."
Please, you're just pissed they got caught.
All the while, real reporters listened on a telephone conference line and were barred from asking questions. This is definitely a new FEMA and they have indeed learned from Katrina. They learned that a free press has no right to go digging through their business and should be happy to get the scraps FEMA tosses their way. The creeping effect of the White House Press Room has spread far. This is not an apple falling far from the tree, it is the rot at the center erupting on the surface.
"It is not a practice that we would employ here at the White House," said Press Secretary Dana Perino, mentioning three times that it was an "error in judgment." "It's not something I would have condoned, and they, I'm sure, will not do it again."
Please, you're just pissed they got caught.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Internet to be restored this afternoon
Sometime before 5 pm. So I can get back to my irregularly scheduled crap sometime this evening.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Halloween and Wikihow: Hilarious
JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN!!!
I can't quite tell if the following articles are genuine or insulting:
How to Be a Goth!: Not at all fucking stupid.
How to Be a Classy Goth!: In other words, how to be all the minor characters in Ann Rice novels without being rich or having any actual class.
How to Write Serious Gothic Poetry!: If you aren't dead or addicted to laudanum, isn't that an oxymoron?
I can't quite tell if the following articles are genuine or insulting:
How to Be a Goth!: Not at all fucking stupid.
How to Be a Classy Goth!: In other words, how to be all the minor characters in Ann Rice novels without being rich or having any actual class.
How to Write Serious Gothic Poetry!: If you aren't dead or addicted to laudanum, isn't that an oxymoron?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Cobagitation in Congress: Censurship?
Shouldn't Stark be the toast of the town for this? Hell, if the New Left can get away with this with only an "OH HELL NO!" then why is Representative Stark getting the third degree?
I Have Been Against It With You For Longer Than You Know
Monday's Penny Arcade is spot on. I sympathize completely, as I have detailed before. Why anyone want a pet with even the possibility of developing this problem? The only thing Helob the Tarantula expresses is insatiable hunger. "Cricket snorkel" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
Sometimes...
Sometimes I think that maybe I should give in and use my genius for evil.* I bet I could make a shit ton of money as a contractor in Iraq selling excrement to the Baghdad Art Institute for modeling clay or something.
Sometimes I think that maybe I should walk in front of that bus.
*Besides using it to meet sexy ladies.
Sometimes I think that maybe I should walk in front of that bus.
*Besides using it to meet sexy ladies.
Monday, October 22, 2007
It's Like Garfield Was Right or Something
What are you going to do, Dick? Shoot them in the face? Make babpuptens with their children and pets?
Actually if you threatened me with that first fate, I might consider it a serious threat but only if I was one of his friends.
Added because my coffee sucks today: US "calls" for Iraq to take swift action? Let's stop pretending, fuckers. We are ordering our unruly Middle Eastern colony to do something that we know damn well they aren't able to do so we can look a little better after pissing off Turkey with the Armenian genocide declaration. Fuck this bush beating, we want to have our slightly morally appeased cake of a declaration and still use their airspace to bomb other people.
Actually if you threatened me with that first fate, I might consider it a serious threat but only if I was one of his friends.
Added because my coffee sucks today: US "calls" for Iraq to take swift action? Let's stop pretending, fuckers. We are ordering our unruly Middle Eastern colony to do something that we know damn well they aren't able to do so we can look a little better after pissing off Turkey with the Armenian genocide declaration. Fuck this bush beating, we want to have our slightly morally appeased cake of a declaration and still use their airspace to bomb other people.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Gene Meme
My great-great-great-grandparent is Flying Trilobite.
My great-great-grandparent is A Blog Around the Clock.
My great-grandparent is Shakespeare's Sister.
My grandparent is Excuse This Mess.
My Sugar Momma is Saying Yes.
1. The best comedy in scientific dissections is: Brazil.
2. The best sexy song in orchestral music is: Messiah by Handel.
3. The best sexy novel in absurdist fiction is: The Plains of Passage by Jean Auel.
4. The best stand-up comedian in American politics is: Larry Craig.
My baby momma is unknown as yet and you can't prove shit so stop lying. I totally pulled out way early.
My great-great-grandparent is A Blog Around the Clock.
My great-grandparent is Shakespeare's Sister.
My grandparent is Excuse This Mess.
My Sugar Momma is Saying Yes.
1. The best comedy in scientific dissections is: Brazil.
2. The best sexy song in orchestral music is: Messiah by Handel.
3. The best sexy novel in absurdist fiction is: The Plains of Passage by Jean Auel.
4. The best stand-up comedian in American politics is: Larry Craig.
My baby momma is unknown as yet and you can't prove shit so stop lying. I totally pulled out way early.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I'm Good With My Hands
I have a feeling that I will appreciating my osmotic education in computing, carpentry, plumbing and general handymannery. This is bad news. I have some savings, nothing near six month's worth, and nothing in the stock market. I studied anthropology in college and that is a field that is highly recession proof*, but since I currently work in a field that is basically a luxury, I am reasonably certain that I will be considered expendable. At least I'll be free to explore my writing and get more reading done.
* Sarcasm is another recession proof field.
* Sarcasm is another recession proof field.
Boo Fucking Hoo: Hastert Resigning
"People (Republicans) are leaving because they find it is no fun to be in the minority," a Republican leadership aide said, adding, "We're going to lose seats" next year.
There are two things that I find fascinating in this sentence. That someone would consider the business of government fun and that a Republican't leadership aide thinks that they are going to lose seats. The first item is both sad and totally representative of the Republican't disregard for all citizens. It's fun to be in the majority and run the country like fucking SimCity X: RL? Go fuck yourself, cobag. This should be the most serious activity of your life.
I hope the Republican't party does lose seats. I also hope that the Democratic Party goes through a change up and people who are willing to make the changes that the people of this sorta-great nation keep demanding. Fucking slackers ain't helping anyone with their constant approvals and legalization of every one of Bush's constitutional clusterfucking.
Before I forget: Boo Fucking Hoo, Brownback. I guess Blogs4Brownback will have to support some other religious nut.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
DC Gets Taxi Meters: ABOUT DAMN TIME
I hope this turns out to be as awesome as it is in my head. It would be really funny if it all blew up in our faces, but I am sick of having arguments about the zones with otherwise nice drivers.
I have no doubt that the Taxicab Commission will delay as long as possible. I wouldn't be surprised if they tried some sort of injunction based on a claim that the meters will be too expensive or some similar nonsense. The meeting to decide the timetable for the change isn't for two weeks, but at least there will be some sort of timetable for this unlike Iraq.
The only timetable Bush seems to want for Iraq contains only casualty figures. Asshole.
I have no doubt that the Taxicab Commission will delay as long as possible. I wouldn't be surprised if they tried some sort of injunction based on a claim that the meters will be too expensive or some similar nonsense. The meeting to decide the timetable for the change isn't for two weeks, but at least there will be some sort of timetable for this unlike Iraq.
The only timetable Bush seems to want for Iraq contains only casualty figures. Asshole.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
That Cabin in Appalachia is Looking Real Tempting
Because it doesn't have a phone. But how will I connect to the world? of Warcraft?
There's a Whole Lot of Me That Isn't Surprised
Republican Senators love them some stocking wearing women. In fact, they insist this fetish be indulged in the office, at all times and in all weather. Ladies, I got your back. Hell, I got your fronts, too.
The basic issue here is...I'm straight up confused actually. Are they being sexist? Do they think they are training new staff to the costume of the professional government? Given the Republican habit of repression and general cobagishness in the area of social freedom, I am leaning toward sexist. The insistence that women wear hose underneath a pant suit is strange. Strange like a man wearing a diaper to work or trying to grab toilet paper from the stall to the right with his left hand.
I can't help but feel that this is somehow related.
The basic issue here is...I'm straight up confused actually. Are they being sexist? Do they think they are training new staff to the costume of the professional government? Given the Republican habit of repression and general cobagishness in the area of social freedom, I am leaning toward sexist. The insistence that women wear hose underneath a pant suit is strange. Strange like a man wearing a diaper to work or trying to grab toilet paper from the stall to the right with his left hand.
I can't help but feel that this is somehow related.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Pass the Gin
I followed the link at Outside the Tent to read the original story about Gore and the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change winning the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts in helping us fight global warming and saw this in the little reader comments tab:
HAVE YOUR SAY
The liberals and the PC crowd now have their delusion raised to Nobel status
Jeremy Mason, Houston, USA
Just remember that we are the ones with our heads in the sand, apparently. When the clouds are orange and the air burns us as we breathe, this jackhole will be weeping and saying, "We could not have known! WOE BE UPON US!"
A slightly different form of sellout.
HAVE YOUR SAY
The liberals and the PC crowd now have their delusion raised to Nobel status
Jeremy Mason, Houston, USA
Just remember that we are the ones with our heads in the sand, apparently. When the clouds are orange and the air burns us as we breathe, this jackhole will be weeping and saying, "We could not have known! WOE BE UPON US!"
A slightly different form of sellout.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Or Perhaps the Pepper Steak Variety
They are indeed good and mighty.
Totally unrelated: Get Your War On is celebrating six years of enduring our motherfucking freedom to totally point out all kinds of fucked up shit through clip art comics and has posted all the comics on one page. SUX2BU Dialuppers!
Totally unrelated: Get Your War On is celebrating six years of enduring our motherfucking freedom to totally point out all kinds of fucked up shit through clip art comics and has posted all the comics on one page. SUX2BU Dialuppers!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Today's Targets
Korean BBQ stand at 14th and L
Halal Deli stand at 14th and G
M'Dawg Haute Dog on 18th Street
Ben's Chili Bowl on U Street
The Saloon
Dukem
Probably somewhere else and then another chili dog.
Halal Deli stand at 14th and G
M'Dawg Haute Dog on 18th Street
Ben's Chili Bowl on U Street
The Saloon
Dukem
Probably somewhere else and then another chili dog.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Links for the Afternoon Fever Dream Dancing
Zipcar? How could you? I know it is expensive and all, but the ADA is pretty fucking clear. Don't be cobagz, I finally got my membership and would hate to have to cancel it.
In other types of news, holy shit I wish I had seen this show. Except that last night I was all fevered up and sitting at home and feeling sorry for myself while I watched mediocre TV. I will spend some time swimming through the interweb listening for YouTubers. I doubt I could have afforded it either given that I am currently supporting a mild food habit and the underpants gnomes have been raiding my domicile on a frighteningly regular schedule.
I am down to less than half of the boxers I had but one month ago. These fucking gnomes are raiding my hamper with brutal efficiency, what do they expect to find? Sulfuron ingots? I know I have been known to lay some brutal winds but seriously follks, what is happening to all my boxers? If I weren't already feverish and out of my mind with it, I might get a little crazy and feverishly out of my mind over this. Fucking gnomes.
In other types of news, holy shit I wish I had seen this show. Except that last night I was all fevered up and sitting at home and feeling sorry for myself while I watched mediocre TV. I will spend some time swimming through the interweb listening for YouTubers. I doubt I could have afforded it either given that I am currently supporting a mild food habit and the underpants gnomes have been raiding my domicile on a frighteningly regular schedule.
I am down to less than half of the boxers I had but one month ago. These fucking gnomes are raiding my hamper with brutal efficiency, what do they expect to find? Sulfuron ingots? I know I have been known to lay some brutal winds but seriously follks, what is happening to all my boxers? If I weren't already feverish and out of my mind with it, I might get a little crazy and feverishly out of my mind over this. Fucking gnomes.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
FUCK
I think I have strep again. The little bastards have moved into my throat. I need to find a doctor and may even look into having my doohickeys removed. Those things that hold the bacteria and shit. Some sort of extraneous throat anatomy.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Your Opinion Has Been Noted, As Has Our Revocation of Your Right to Further Express Opinions
But Dune was quite good
Andrew McKie 09 Oct 2007 16:49
while Lord of the Rings was crap. It's true the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was total pants, but there was something to be said for V for Vendetta. And Sin City, though not my cup of tea, was very faithful.
Most of the Batman, Spiderman and Superman films were pretty useless, but then so were mnost of the comics. I shall be interested to see what they do to Neil Gaiman on the big screen. It doesn't look good, from the trailers.
The real miracle of adaptation from sf or comics was A Scanner Darkly. Exactly right.
I hated V for Vendetta. The movie was ponderous, lame and repetitive. The graphic novel was much better but the political philosophy was rather weak, despite the extremely interesting plot. Despite this, anyone who claims that the Dune movie was a better adaptation of a book than the Lord of the Rings movies should shut the hell up. Lord of the Rings had some glaring changes and omissions and I did not agree with all of them, or even some of them, but other than the fairly minor changes that did not affect large chunks of the basic plot of the books, it was a good adaptation of a book given the limitations of the medium of film. Dune, however, was an adaptation so far removed from the origin that you would have to classify it a new species. Sure, it had Fremen, big ass worms, a guy named Paul and some freaky blue eyed women, but much of the basic plot had been thoroughly altered to suit the studio's whims. Directed by Alan Smithee AKA David Lynch, even the four hour extended version with the goofy cartoon segment at the beginning couldn't save the mess of Dune. When I saw Heretics of Dune on a bookshelf, I thought it was about the making of this movie. I still liked it as a Saturday afternoon scifi movie, but it was far from a faithful recreation of the book. The Scifi Channel miniseries comes much closer.
In conclusion, you're wrong.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Friday, October 05, 2007
Manny State?
So, it is now illegal to sell sex toys in Alabama. Sex toys don't appeal to me but that doesn't mean that I think that people shouldn't be able to buy one. Furthermore, this is the kind of bullshit that is poisoning American political discourse. Some jackass decides that they should keep strip clubs away from areas that children frequent1 to protect children from the harmful influence. Anyone that speaks out against this is going to be savaged in the press as being pro-pedophilia or something similar, as opposed to being called pro-business and small government.
I can almost see the reasoning for this law except that this is clearly government attempting to do my job as a parent. They toss in porn stores with the bill. Most people can agree that you want to keep kids out of porn stores and sex shops. Was this a problem before the law? Were strippers hanging out near elementary schools offering lapdances for milk money? Were porn stores using cartoon characters to advertise their new selection of Drag-On-Balls Dildos? Were 9 year olds playing with mommy's neck massager? I can envision some parent saying, "Well, I sleep a lot easier knowing that my children's only access to pornography is the family computer and the bottom of my sock drawer." Heaven forbid if they had some sort of mechanical assistance.2
If I get lucky enough to have kids, I have to teach them about stuff. Stuff like hiking, camping, brushing their teeth, morals, ethics, behavior and, shockingly enough, interactions with other human beings that may include sex. That is part of your job as a parent. The idea in this law that porn stores and sex shops are somehow instantly corrupting and corrosive to communities is bullshit. If you don't want to talk to your kids about sex, that is your prerogative. Don't come crying to me when your daughter has an ectopic pregnancy or your son has some STI or STD because you never told them to use condoms and use them correctly.3
More resources:
Michael Dorf at FindLaw from 2004
February 14, 2007 Ruling against the plaintiffs (PDF!)
July 28, 2004 Dissent or something, I'm not a lawyer. (PDF!)
Infamous Ann Bartow wrote a post about the February judgement or decision.
And again last Wednesday.
1 Like children hang out at truck stops. Whatever, for the sake of argument, I am going to allow the basis of this part of the law as a given, even if it is really flimsy.
2 I wonder what the people that wrote this bill would do if they caught their daughter stroking a hairbrush handle or caught their son pegging himself with a carrot?
3 I won't even begin to start on the HPV shot bullshit. That is just outrageous.
I can almost see the reasoning for this law except that this is clearly government attempting to do my job as a parent. They toss in porn stores with the bill. Most people can agree that you want to keep kids out of porn stores and sex shops. Was this a problem before the law? Were strippers hanging out near elementary schools offering lapdances for milk money? Were porn stores using cartoon characters to advertise their new selection of Drag-On-Balls Dildos? Were 9 year olds playing with mommy's neck massager? I can envision some parent saying, "Well, I sleep a lot easier knowing that my children's only access to pornography is the family computer and the bottom of my sock drawer." Heaven forbid if they had some sort of mechanical assistance.2
If I get lucky enough to have kids, I have to teach them about stuff. Stuff like hiking, camping, brushing their teeth, morals, ethics, behavior and, shockingly enough, interactions with other human beings that may include sex. That is part of your job as a parent. The idea in this law that porn stores and sex shops are somehow instantly corrupting and corrosive to communities is bullshit. If you don't want to talk to your kids about sex, that is your prerogative. Don't come crying to me when your daughter has an ectopic pregnancy or your son has some STI or STD because you never told them to use condoms and use them correctly.3
More resources:
Michael Dorf at FindLaw from 2004
February 14, 2007 Ruling against the plaintiffs (PDF!)
July 28, 2004 Dissent or something, I'm not a lawyer. (PDF!)
Infamous Ann Bartow wrote a post about the February judgement or decision.
And again last Wednesday.
1 Like children hang out at truck stops. Whatever, for the sake of argument, I am going to allow the basis of this part of the law as a given, even if it is really flimsy.
2 I wonder what the people that wrote this bill would do if they caught their daughter stroking a hairbrush handle or caught their son pegging himself with a carrot?
3 I won't even begin to start on the HPV shot bullshit. That is just outrageous.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Dear Comedy Central
To whom it may concern:
I love The Daily Show. I like the Colbert Report. I watch South Park. I watch Reno 911 sometimes and I loved the movie. I've even been known to watch parts of an episode of Drawn Together. Sometimes, I can't watch the shows I like, nor make it to the endless reruns of the episodes I miss. If I have time during the day, I'll watch them online.
I can understand why you swiftly and efficiently remove your videos from YouTube, even the one about Dimitri Martin talking about videos being removed from YouTube. I can even sympathize with your desire to earn some revenue by hosting ads before the clips you have on your lovely website. Could you do me just one favor, please? Could you try to ensure that the requested video actually plays instead of just skipping to the next ad? I marvel at your ability to make me think for a second that maybe I clicked the wrong link, when instead I am just being screwed by your assheaded attempts to wring Jon Stewart for every drop of gold in his humor. He's a funny man and his fans are legion. Perhaps you could throw us a fucking bone maybe? I mean, I wouldn't want to put you out of sorts with our corporate overlords and all, but I don't think they would object if you actually played the requested video, cobagz.
Let me explain how this works. I click the link, the ad loads, plays and then the clip loads, plays and I move on happy and thankful that I can see a show I missed. This shouldn't be too hard to figure out, since there are literally hundreds, perhaps thousands, of non-porn sites that have figured this arcane trick out. Most of those websites probably don't have even a tenth of the starpower of the Daily Show.
In closing, why must you be so fucking inept?
UPDATE: As of 10:30 am Friday, they seem to have fixed it. Sort of. The commercial played 6 damn times before finally getting to the load screen of the clip I wanted to watch. Unsurprisingly, the clip is loading slower than molasses in winter, but we have progress. I was about to send this post to Comedy Central but wanted to be fair and see if their shitty site would work somewhat properly today. Their advertising is wasted on me as I use a different cellular provider.
It is the only one that receives signal in the Metro tunnels. From what I have heard, all providers were supposed to have roaming service on the Metro lines but this particular carrier built the network and then told the DC government and the Metro board to suck it. Since the DC government is rather similar to an aging hooker, they were unable to bite back. That cellular carrier remains the sole provider in the Metro and others can not even make roaming calls. This story has never been confirmed so take it with a pile of salt.
I love The Daily Show. I like the Colbert Report. I watch South Park. I watch Reno 911 sometimes and I loved the movie. I've even been known to watch parts of an episode of Drawn Together. Sometimes, I can't watch the shows I like, nor make it to the endless reruns of the episodes I miss. If I have time during the day, I'll watch them online.
I can understand why you swiftly and efficiently remove your videos from YouTube, even the one about Dimitri Martin talking about videos being removed from YouTube. I can even sympathize with your desire to earn some revenue by hosting ads before the clips you have on your lovely website. Could you do me just one favor, please? Could you try to ensure that the requested video actually plays instead of just skipping to the next ad? I marvel at your ability to make me think for a second that maybe I clicked the wrong link, when instead I am just being screwed by your assheaded attempts to wring Jon Stewart for every drop of gold in his humor. He's a funny man and his fans are legion. Perhaps you could throw us a fucking bone maybe? I mean, I wouldn't want to put you out of sorts with our corporate overlords and all, but I don't think they would object if you actually played the requested video, cobagz.
Let me explain how this works. I click the link, the ad loads, plays and then the clip loads, plays and I move on happy and thankful that I can see a show I missed. This shouldn't be too hard to figure out, since there are literally hundreds, perhaps thousands, of non-porn sites that have figured this arcane trick out. Most of those websites probably don't have even a tenth of the starpower of the Daily Show.
In closing, why must you be so fucking inept?
UPDATE: As of 10:30 am Friday, they seem to have fixed it. Sort of. The commercial played 6 damn times before finally getting to the load screen of the clip I wanted to watch. Unsurprisingly, the clip is loading slower than molasses in winter, but we have progress. I was about to send this post to Comedy Central but wanted to be fair and see if their shitty site would work somewhat properly today. Their advertising is wasted on me as I use a different cellular provider.
It is the only one that receives signal in the Metro tunnels. From what I have heard, all providers were supposed to have roaming service on the Metro lines but this particular carrier built the network and then told the DC government and the Metro board to suck it. Since the DC government is rather similar to an aging hooker, they were unable to bite back. That cellular carrier remains the sole provider in the Metro and others can not even make roaming calls. This story has never been confirmed so take it with a pile of salt.
This Show Looks Awesome But...
Playing tomorrow night at the 930 Club:
Gypsy Eyes Records, ESL Music, The Federal Reserve, Proper Topper and the DC Public Library Foundation Present A Fund Raiser for the DC Public Library System
Featuring performances by Federico Aubele (live) · Child Ballads · Revival · Vandaveer · John Bustine · Rose · Kitty Hawk · These United States · DJs Yellow Fever · ESL Music DJ's Will Griffin & Stone
I lost my fucking check card last night. Somewhere between paying at Safeway for some cleaning supplies and walking across the street to my apartment, I managed to lose the damn thing. It was cracked almost in half and going to expire in 8 months anyway, but fcuk me, how stupid am I? I discovered the loss this morning and went to my local branch and reported it lost. A new one is being overnighted to me, but how fucking dumb am I? I bet it didn't make it all the way back into my wallet after I paid last night. It could have been in my hand when I was walking across the street. The result is the same, I am not going to be able to get my ticket for the show today and may just lose out on going altogether.
Since we are discussing the 930 Club, I would like to take this time to tell them to FUCK OFF for using tickets.com. Tickets.com was going to charge me a total of $8.75 for a $20 ticket. Fuck that shit. The Black Cat uses fucking Ticketmaster but also let's you buy tickets for shows from the box office with no "service fee" or "convenience fee" or other such bullshit. Do us a favor and drop tickets.com, cobagz.
Gypsy Eyes Records, ESL Music, The Federal Reserve, Proper Topper and the DC Public Library Foundation Present A Fund Raiser for the DC Public Library System
Featuring performances by Federico Aubele (live) · Child Ballads · Revival · Vandaveer · John Bustine · Rose · Kitty Hawk · These United States · DJs Yellow Fever · ESL Music DJ's Will Griffin & Stone
I lost my fucking check card last night. Somewhere between paying at Safeway for some cleaning supplies and walking across the street to my apartment, I managed to lose the damn thing. It was cracked almost in half and going to expire in 8 months anyway, but fcuk me, how stupid am I? I discovered the loss this morning and went to my local branch and reported it lost. A new one is being overnighted to me, but how fucking dumb am I? I bet it didn't make it all the way back into my wallet after I paid last night. It could have been in my hand when I was walking across the street. The result is the same, I am not going to be able to get my ticket for the show today and may just lose out on going altogether.
Since we are discussing the 930 Club, I would like to take this time to tell them to FUCK OFF for using tickets.com. Tickets.com was going to charge me a total of $8.75 for a $20 ticket. Fuck that shit. The Black Cat uses fucking Ticketmaster but also let's you buy tickets for shows from the box office with no "service fee" or "convenience fee" or other such bullshit. Do us a favor and drop tickets.com, cobagz.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
The Last Few Seconds of This Clip
Sum up my feelings about the world, VERY VERY NSFW:
Rent it and watch the whole thing. It is more full of win than a ten-toon Molten Core run.
Rent it and watch the whole thing. It is more full of win than a ten-toon Molten Core run.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
Weekend Winding Wound Withy Wowza Woolamaru: Thao Nguyen, These United States and Le Loup
I am still feeling the half shot of faQuil I took last night, so life is a little bit more surreal than normal today. Kinda makes Dali look like Hoover but whatever, I find it is best to avoid eye contact with the iguanadons. They'll just send their iguanagumbas after you if you piss them off. The weird thing about iguanagumbas? They only break your thumbs.1
I have been to some mighty2 awesome music shows in the last week but no one seems to care. Check out the fucking posts, cobagz. Of course, today I will get a note from Esteemed High Warlord of the Webbernaughts, dontEATnachos, that our page views at WellRoundedNerds only spike when we discuss Bioshock, computer hardware trouble3, and Where has all the fulsome gone? I have an idea where all the fulsome is. I bet it is hidden in exquisitely hand crafted cabinets.
The upside of this downside is yet to be determined. But since I just remembered where I was going with the previous paragraph, I am going to switch back to that topic. I saw some amazing music on Saturday. I can list the bands here, but I would prefer to review them when I am less inclined to compare them to people in my philosophy classes in college, despite how apt it would be for one of the bands. Maybe I will do it anyway, just for comedy's sake without it being at their expense. It would help if my computer weren't acting like it had just downed half a bottle of faQuil.5
So, the bands. Right. Thao Nguyen and the Get Down Stay Down sounded like a much more interesting Ani Difranco. These United States were like the cool dude in Philosophy who could actually pull ladies with his existentialism, while I just failed miserably at the same task. Le Loup was fun and I accidentally insulted one of the three guitarists when she asked if I was here to see them and I said, "No, a friend in San Francisco said I had to go see These United States. Who is Le Loup?" I made it up to her by buying two copies of the CD they were pimping. I also bought two copies of the other two CDs because I like music and I hate saving for the rainy days that seem to happen every fucking month.
Look for a more coherent review on Tuesday.
1 Paleontology joke! EAT IT XKCD! Still love your t-shirts.
2 If you knew how long it took me to spell mighty, you would tell me to go home like my boss just did.
3 Hot, sexy hardware trouble. I'm gonna dual boot your RAM, baby.4
4 The above sentence does not even make sense to the most unlaid computer engineer *COUGH* RES PUBLICA *COUGH*.
5 I hate it when it says, "Word is now recovering your documents" in reference to the document that I spent all last week editing.
I have been to some mighty2 awesome music shows in the last week but no one seems to care. Check out the fucking posts, cobagz. Of course, today I will get a note from Esteemed High Warlord of the Webbernaughts, dontEATnachos, that our page views at WellRoundedNerds only spike when we discuss Bioshock, computer hardware trouble3, and Where has all the fulsome gone? I have an idea where all the fulsome is. I bet it is hidden in exquisitely hand crafted cabinets.
The upside of this downside is yet to be determined. But since I just remembered where I was going with the previous paragraph, I am going to switch back to that topic. I saw some amazing music on Saturday. I can list the bands here, but I would prefer to review them when I am less inclined to compare them to people in my philosophy classes in college, despite how apt it would be for one of the bands. Maybe I will do it anyway, just for comedy's sake without it being at their expense. It would help if my computer weren't acting like it had just downed half a bottle of faQuil.5
So, the bands. Right. Thao Nguyen and the Get Down Stay Down sounded like a much more interesting Ani Difranco. These United States were like the cool dude in Philosophy who could actually pull ladies with his existentialism, while I just failed miserably at the same task. Le Loup was fun and I accidentally insulted one of the three guitarists when she asked if I was here to see them and I said, "No, a friend in San Francisco said I had to go see These United States. Who is Le Loup?" I made it up to her by buying two copies of the CD they were pimping. I also bought two copies of the other two CDs because I like music and I hate saving for the rainy days that seem to happen every fucking month.
Look for a more coherent review on Tuesday.
1 Paleontology joke! EAT IT XKCD! Still love your t-shirts.
2 If you knew how long it took me to spell mighty, you would tell me to go home like my boss just did.
3 Hot, sexy hardware trouble. I'm gonna dual boot your RAM, baby.4
4 The above sentence does not even make sense to the most unlaid computer engineer *COUGH* RES PUBLICA *COUGH*.
5 I hate it when it says, "Word is now recovering your documents" in reference to the document that I spent all last week editing.
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