Legal Disclaimer: Despite all similarities and a completely identical roster, the Pork Snorkel Crew is only loosely affiliated with Team Pork Cloud Mexico.
As chief scientist of the Pork Snorkel Crew, I am currently involved in researching a new breed of Oreos. My lab team and I will be attempting to assemble jumbo Oreos from regular and double stuffed varieties of the popular snack food. These enormous cookies will hopefully have diameters in excess of three inches, while remaining structurally strong enough to scoop soft-serve ice cream. These new Hand Oreos* should revolutionize everything, everywhere, and will probably win a Nobel Peace Prize after the cessation of the Toll Wars once the cookies are shipped to the Middle West.
As I have not received notice from the FDA to halt testing, human trials will begin in a little over two weeks.
* I will not be calling them HOreos.
Showing posts with label pork snorkel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pork snorkel. Show all posts
Friday, July 13, 2012
Friday, November 06, 2009
Sunday, August 10, 2008
New Target Acquired
I must have one of these morsels of hot awesomeness before the year is dead:
A quick search of the interwebs turned up this Yelp page, unfortunately Chowhound did not contain any pertinent information. I would have spent more time there, but I am overcome with a craving for bacon-wrapped meat articles. Also, I am still experiencing a Baltimore high from an awesome crab cake sandwich, of which I only got two bites and lust for more. Sadly, Henninger's is closed on Sundays and Mondays but damn that was a good crab cake at Jimmy's.
A quick search of the interwebs turned up this Yelp page, unfortunately Chowhound did not contain any pertinent information. I would have spent more time there, but I am overcome with a craving for bacon-wrapped meat articles. Also, I am still experiencing a Baltimore high from an awesome crab cake sandwich, of which I only got two bites and lust for more. Sadly, Henninger's is closed on Sundays and Mondays but damn that was a good crab cake at Jimmy's.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
I Have Been Against It With You For Longer Than You Know
Monday's Penny Arcade is spot on. I sympathize completely, as I have detailed before. Why anyone want a pet with even the possibility of developing this problem? The only thing Helob the Tarantula expresses is insatiable hunger. "Cricket snorkel" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Today's Targets
Korean BBQ stand at 14th and L
Halal Deli stand at 14th and G
M'Dawg Haute Dog on 18th Street
Ben's Chili Bowl on U Street
The Saloon
Dukem
Probably somewhere else and then another chili dog.
Halal Deli stand at 14th and G
M'Dawg Haute Dog on 18th Street
Ben's Chili Bowl on U Street
The Saloon
Dukem
Probably somewhere else and then another chili dog.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Chicago Dogs in My Kitchen
Ingredients:
Coleman's Mustard
Pickle Spears
Mt. Olive Emerald Relish
Mt. Olive Hot Pickled Banana Peppers
Diced Onion
Celery Salt
Hebrew National Dinner Franks
Buns
Well, almost. The dinner franks are too big and the peppers aren't quite right, but they are the closest I could find at the neighborhood grocery store. Other than that, pretty damn close.
Coleman's Mustard
Pickle Spears
Mt. Olive Emerald Relish
Mt. Olive Hot Pickled Banana Peppers
Diced Onion
Celery Salt
Hebrew National Dinner Franks
Buns
Well, almost. The dinner franks are too big and the peppers aren't quite right, but they are the closest I could find at the neighborhood grocery store. Other than that, pretty damn close.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
The Score, or How to End a Pork Snorkel Before It Really Begins
La Pasadita Ultimate Barbacoa Burrito: 1.
The Genius: 0
This freaking burrito is as big as it looks and just as obnoxious. (Unfortunately, the archives of Well Rounded Nerds do not permit me to find that post at the moment.) The barbacoa was cooked to a state that could be called sub-rare. This is not exactly desirable when you are already worried about the hygiene of the establishment. My colleague in consumption had expressed concern about the ripeness of the pico de gallo prior to our meal's arrival. I was able to try the pico, green salsa and the reportedly heavenly black salsa. I am a fan of the spicy food, much like my adorable nephew, but I was not impressed with either topping. I was forced to concur with my esteemed compatriot. These salsa-esque food products were perhaps too genuine. But back to the burrito.
I forced myself to ignore the rare-ness of the meat and instead enjoyed the rice, lettuce, guac, beans and cheese. There was not enough of either to over power the burrito or take away from the flavor of the meat. This was almost unfortunate as the meat could have been flavored more. In fact, it would have been nice if it had been flavored at all. It tasted like and undercoooked flank stank that maybe had a jar of spice waved in its general direction. Still, I wasn't only there to enjoy it so much as to climb the fucking Everest of Burritos. To carry this metaphor to a stupid conclusion, I got altitude sickness and had to carried down the mountain weighing thirty pounds more than when I started climbing.
The worst part wasn't the pain of my belly, but the full knowledge from the moment I left the establishment that this too would pass. I ate the burrito at 3 PM on Saturday and had no desire to eat anything until 1 pm on Sunday. Even then, I was only mildly peckish.
However, at 5:45 PM Sunday afternoon, I knew that it was time. I managed to hold everything together until 6:04 PM, mostly to give the other patrons of Intelligentsia on Broadway a chance to use the bathroom before I rendered it unfit for human, animal or silicon-nanotube based lifeforms.
The EPA has since rendered that establishment a Superfund site. I'm sorry.
The Genius: 0
This freaking burrito is as big as it looks and just as obnoxious. (Unfortunately, the archives of Well Rounded Nerds do not permit me to find that post at the moment.) The barbacoa was cooked to a state that could be called sub-rare. This is not exactly desirable when you are already worried about the hygiene of the establishment. My colleague in consumption had expressed concern about the ripeness of the pico de gallo prior to our meal's arrival. I was able to try the pico, green salsa and the reportedly heavenly black salsa. I am a fan of the spicy food, much like my adorable nephew, but I was not impressed with either topping. I was forced to concur with my esteemed compatriot. These salsa-esque food products were perhaps too genuine. But back to the burrito.
I forced myself to ignore the rare-ness of the meat and instead enjoyed the rice, lettuce, guac, beans and cheese. There was not enough of either to over power the burrito or take away from the flavor of the meat. This was almost unfortunate as the meat could have been flavored more. In fact, it would have been nice if it had been flavored at all. It tasted like and undercoooked flank stank that maybe had a jar of spice waved in its general direction. Still, I wasn't only there to enjoy it so much as to climb the fucking Everest of Burritos. To carry this metaphor to a stupid conclusion, I got altitude sickness and had to carried down the mountain weighing thirty pounds more than when I started climbing.
The worst part wasn't the pain of my belly, but the full knowledge from the moment I left the establishment that this too would pass. I ate the burrito at 3 PM on Saturday and had no desire to eat anything until 1 pm on Sunday. Even then, I was only mildly peckish.
However, at 5:45 PM Sunday afternoon, I knew that it was time. I managed to hold everything together until 6:04 PM, mostly to give the other patrons of Intelligentsia on Broadway a chance to use the bathroom before I rendered it unfit for human, animal or silicon-nanotube based lifeforms.
The EPA has since rendered that establishment a Superfund site. I'm sorry.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Two Words For Everyone
PORK SNORKEL!!!!!!!!!!!!
What: Eating.
When: Saturday
Where: TBD
Why: I need a reason?
How: With food
"There but for the grace of Pork go I."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)