To Be Added to the List of Super Gross People: Grocery Bathroom Guy

I was recently in a grocery and store, and I decided to use the bathroom while Lady Chemistry was looking at some items.  There was a guy using the other urinal when I walked in, and I walked over to the other urinal.  As I am unzipping, the dude finishes, flushes, and strolls out.  I glanced at the door, and then the sinks.  He cruised right past Go, did not collect his $200, did not wash his hands, and went out into the store.  A grocery store.  Which has food.  Which he may have touched.  With hands that were just shaking his pee pee.

How do I know he shook his pee pee, you might be asking yourself.  He did that lean back and shoulder shake thing that means he was shaking his wiener and flinging the last drops of urine everywhere, including, most probably, his hands and pants.

Mister Pee Pee Hands, you win.  I officially hate Virginia again.  Thanks for ruining the small pleasures I had cultivated in this formerly mediocre state. 

Definitions

From Dictionary.com:
an⋅tique
   /ænˈtik/ [an-teek] adjective, noun, verb, -tiqued, -ti⋅quing.
–adjective
1. of or belonging to the past; not modern.
2. dating from a period long ago: antique furniture.
3. noting or pertaining to automobiles approximately 25 years old or more.
4. in the tradition, fashion, or style of an earlier period; old-fashioned; antiquated.
5. of or belonging to the ancient Greeks and Romans.
6. (of paper) neither calendered nor coated and having a rough surface.
7. ancient.

dai⋅ly
   /ˈdeɪli/ [dey-lee] adjective, noun, plural -lies, adverb
–adjective
1. of, done, occurring, or issued each day or each weekday: daily attendance; a daily newspaper.
2. computed or measured by the day: daily quota; a daily wage.
–noun
3. a newspaper appearing each day or each weekday.
4. dailies, Movies . a series of hastily printed shots from the previous day's shooting, selected by the director to be viewed for possible inclusion in the final version of the film; rushes.
5. British .
a. a nonresident servant who comes to work every day; a permanently employed servant who sleeps out.
b. a person employed to do cleaning or other household work by the day.
–adverb
6. every day; day by day: She phoned the hospital daily.

in⋅con⋅ceiv⋅a⋅ble
   /ˌɪnkənˈsivəbəl/ [in-kuhn-see-vuh-buhl]
–adjective
1. does not mean what you think it means.

Breaking News: People Are Sorta Dumb

This morning I received a message from my alma mater saying that they would be eliminating 10% of their workforce at the end of the year due to the immense financial crisis/depression/recession/whathaveyou. Most of the jobs cut would be through retiring personnel, so that is good, I guess. The disturbing thing was that people freaked out about getting the email, and not the content. It was sent to a list containing every email address the school had for alumni. When the first person replied in sympathy, she generated a shit storm of morons replying to the message in exaperation about getting two emails. This continued for 21 more messages.

I found this whole situation hilarious. College graduates comfortable with Crackberries and iPhones are freaking out right now, trying to tell everyone to stop cluttering their email inboxes. Yet these same people can't figure out from the email info that the message came from a list and that they are sending their messages to a list and not to any one person in particular. Two people replied with words other than "STOP HITTING REPLY!! OMG!!!!!!!" and "GET ME OFF THIS LIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

These two replies explained how to stop the emails and one also said that they were glad that the alumni had maintained their sense of humor. I couldn't exactly let the day go by without tossing a little gasoline on a fire...

I'm a Peaceful Man, But When Angered

I am quite a threat to those under four feet tall:

I can take out 28 five year olds before they drag me down with their small hands and bitey teeth.

Update 2/17/08: I saw this thing on Nikkos' site and I was bored and thought it was vaguely amusing. I did not have to deal with any dating site advertising to take it. Sorry about that. I would never knowingly endorse a dating site, I think they are incredibly lame.

Further Feminist-ish Blogging

From the comments (page 9) of one of the smarter questions in the dumb YouTube Republican debate*:
baneyw (15 hours ago)
Good question. I think a lot of women wonder the same thing.
If you believe abortion is murder, the answer is quite simple. If not, you either don't understand the procedure, or you are not allowing yourself to accept the facts.
If contraception prevents life then abortion destroys it.
Save sex for marriage.
Love,
William

You are confusing sex with procreation, William. I don't think we should save procreation for marriage. Children are fucking hard work, if the few hours I spend with my nephew per month are any indication, and having them should be saved for those who are responsible and ready for this radical lifestyle change. I completely agree with Augusten Burroughs when he wrote in "Magical Thinking" that gay people would make better parents because they have to want to have children and have to make the decision. Children are not something that can happen accidentally to gay couples. Marriage is not some magical, fairy-tale land that instantly secures a person the patience, finances, security and sanity to raise a responsible child.

In any event, the comments on that great question are hilarious, if you like reading lots of ignorant morons' opinions. The ignorance and moronic behavior is not contained by the right wing, either. There are plenty of dumb responses from left wing people.

*Is it really a debate if the candidates just answer questions and try to desperately one up each other? I did not watch this travesty of political theater, only a couple clips. A person can only take so much.

Halloween and Wikihow: Hilarious

JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN!!!

I can't quite tell if the following articles are genuine or insulting:

How to Be a Goth!: Not at all fucking stupid.

How to Be a Classy Goth!: In other words, how to be all the minor characters in Ann Rice novels without being rich or having any actual class.

How to Write Serious Gothic Poetry!: If you aren't dead or addicted to laudanum, isn't that an oxymoron?

The Basic Problem With Your Assertion

Stupid Kevin McCullough asserts that homosexuality is a choice and therefore deserves no special legislation. His position is that gay people choose to be gay. They are choosing homosexuality over heterosexuality. This lifestyle choice needs no special protection as it is an active choice and not something like being born black which can be helped with welfare. Kevin's stupid world view is horribly, horribly stupid. If stupid had a smell, you could smell him in Australia.

Kevin is stupid because he has ignored the obvious implication of his stupid assertion about gay being a choice. That implication is this: HETEROSEXUALITY MUST ALSO BE A CHOICE, AS HETEROSEXUALS ARE CHOOSING TO NOT BE GAY. Therefore, we heterosexuals deserve no special legislation either because it is a lifestyle choice.

Kevin McCullough, Stupid Musclehead.

This post inspired by A Girl Like Me. Thanks.