Friday, June 27, 2008

Frustrations with the Lack of Loss

I have been sticking to my exercise routine and have recently upped the duration and exertion in each session, but I am still frustrated with the lack of progress on my problem areas. My problem areas being every part of my body except my forehead, forearms, hands, and feet. I don't really need to lose any weight in any of those areas. I am seeing some funky veins and stuff on my forearms, but my gut and thighs still belong to a McDonald's Lifetime Eatcheivement Award winner. This is very disappointing.

I have heard that you lose weight from the extremities inward, but could we get with the program, belly? Perhaps the Pork Snorkels of the Past are to blame but I think the blame lies solely with my easy willingness to play World of Warcraft for twelve hours at a time. Or Supreme Commander. Or Call of Duty 4. Or Fallout 3, when that releases. Or Warhammer: Age of Reckoning, whenever that hits the streets (estimates place it at early 2012).

So I have altered my diet a little and continue working out. What else am I going to do besides look for a job? Porn gets pretty old, or so I'm told, and that isn't much of an exercise.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Advanced Product Testing for Geniuses: Phillips Senseo

I was recently given a Phillips Senseo that I think was not used at all by the previous owner. I have no particular love for espresso, but I am not one to look a gift coffee maker in the spout. I did not receive a manual, but I am pretty sure that I have all the parts. After checking it over for any extraneous grime and finding none, I spent a few minutes attaching the random plastic piece, which my friend had said was a vital part, to the reservoir. I put the drip tray and coffee mug rack on the base of the machine. I placed the filter in the top and tried to close the top. Everything slotted together and the top closed without any exertion on my part, so I figured that I had assembled it properly. But will it brew?

I plugged it in and filled the reservoir to the double shot level. I placed a coffee "pod" in the space that I had been told was appropriate and closed the top. I looked at the three buttons on the front and tried to determine the proper course of action. My old coffee maker, a piece of Krap from Krups, has a power button and nothing else, not even an auto-off function. Three buttons was a new and strange world of brewing. The large middle button had the universal power symbol above it, the circle with a vertical line, so I hit that first. A red ring started flashing around the button and I thought, "oh crap, now I have to send this back to Microsoft and demand a refurbished model." The machine also begin making a sound that was not dissimilar to my dishwasher starting up. I waited a few seconds to see what would happen and then pushed the double shot button to the right of the power button. The symbols for the double shot and the single shot button, on the left of the power button, were the same as the reservoir, an outline of a teeny little espresso cup for the single serving and two single shots next to a mug for the double serving. The dishwasher noise stopped when I pushed the double button and then the red ring began to flash rapidly.

Wishing I had the manual, I hit the double serving again. Nothing happened. I checked the reservoir and saw that half the water I had poured in was gone. Hmm. I then filled the reservoir to the top line and slapped it back on. I tapped the double button again. Nothing. I hit the power button and the red ring started blinking slowly like it did the first time. A much more muted hum emanated from this strange machine. I waited for about 30 seconds before realizing that I better put a mug underneath the spout. I cleaned a coffee mug and placed it on the fancy tray under the spout. I hit the double serving button again. The machine began to hum and whirr again and then creamy espresso began to pour out of the spout. SUCCESS! I am indeed smarter than a sexy espresso machine!

The coffee itself is pretty good. I wonder if the pod will be good for a second cup. I wouldn't mind trying some of the flavors, but I will have to see what I can find in my neighborhood stores. That is the limiting factor with this machine, the funky coffee pods. The pods contain grounds in little filter packs, like coffee ravioli or tea. I would prefer to be able to use some espresso ground Mayorga coffee from the Marvelous Market across the street rather than trust an online store. I like to smell a coffee before I buy it because I like to think I can smell something other than coffee and the packaging.

Anyway, here are a couple of other people's opinions but I doubt these are as cool or as smart as mine as they are not Geniuses:
Randy Glass
Epinions (also has instructions, should have looked at that earlier...)

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

More Great Music Coming to DC

Birds & Batteries are coming to Washington, DC on July 1 at the Red and the Black. I will be there. You should be, too.

I will also be at the First Mondays show at Iota on July 7.


I start the fourth class in my editing certificate program tonight, so I'll look even better on paper than a I do now. So that's cool.

I am suspending my World of Warcraft account after the Fire Festival.

I am upping the intensity and duration of my daily work out.

I am still looking for a new job. If you know any workplace that is looking for an editor or proofreader, let me know. I will move anywhere. I can survive in any country on the planet, possibly even those countries that are actively hostile to Americans.

I have lost some weight. How much, I don't know because I refuse to bend knee to vilely oppressing scales.

I am pissed about Battlestar Galactica's broadcast schedule. The executives at SciFi can eat a shitty hot dog.

I saw a cool show about hot dogs last night. More on that later.

I have been making tomato soup from scratch. Kinda fun.

I have been eating a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches with that tomato soup.

I have been drinking some pretty damn good coffee that a former coworker smuggled into the US from Ethiopea for me.

I have not been playing enough Guitar Hero.

I have been listening to some amazing music that really brings me down to the level at which I usually sink before rising again, higher than before.

I am indeed a fucking phoenix. I do not mean that when fucking, I rise again and again, though that would be kinda cool, if tiring. I mean that I crash and burn more frequently than (bad airline) and lie broken for a period of time of length as yet undetermined and then shoot up like a shooting up thing, to soar at heights previously unreached.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

They Be Stoleded My Frenz!

It kinda sucks when friends move away. You can't hang out anymore and they never call you back. Sometimes, they even get restraining orders.

Anywho, friends ask me to help them move and I frequently return the favor. I have noticed that the more chaotic and unprepared my friends are to move, the more food they have left over for me to take. SCORE!

Friday, June 20, 2008

The Beast Within

My brother calls them the wolf hairs, the dark hairs that grow out of strange places or hairs of unusual length from otherwise normal patches. Eyebrows begin to lengthen as the old hairs fall out and are replaced by bizarre cilia that loom over and menace the remaining hairs, as if these mere hairs were but lonely, sarcastic, video store employees. I believe there may be frequent exchanges of milk money.

There are the other patches of wolf hairs. They creep and crawl and slither their way across my body. I recently conducted and extensive survey, utilizing all of my archaeological and primatological techniques, and was amazed and frightened by the results. While I am not Greek, I find myself contemplating forgoing sweaters in the next winter season.

There are odd patterns in the patches. If I stare at them too long, I begin to notice scripts and symbols. I can almost make them out. I think that one is a star and then that one might be a ... oh no.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

That Poor Old Chicken

What is the song that has the lyrics: he poured hot water up and down its leg,
and that poor, old chicken laid a hard boiled egg?

Anyone know or is this too Americablog-gy and NRO-y to ask other people to do my research for me?

Friday, June 13, 2008

Did I forget to eat again?

It's been an action packed day full of calls to insurance organizations, job hunting, blogging, Incredible Hulk reruns, Supreme Commander, and forgetting to eat anything. I didn't forget to make a pot of coffee. And people wonder how I am losing weight. It might have something to do with the work-outs I have been working, but I think the frequent omissions of regular meals is a larger factor. I just get busy and forget to eat. Probably isn't too healthy. meh

Promised Poop Shoot: Cooler Than You Music

In the days before blogs, there was memepool and True Porn Clerk Stories. I was definitely a cooler-than-you video clerk in my clerking days and I doubt this list will fail to confirm that. I would frequently subject the suburban families to music that was just way too cool for them. I did get a few grimaces and annoy one father by suggested that he accompany his 16 year old daughter to the shows she wants to see at the Black Cat. He was willing to admit that he would have snuck out of the house to see his favorite bands as a kid, but that I should shut the hell up and just rent him Flubber.

1. Roofwalkers - Tear Down the Tents: Formerly named Pagoda. I have not seen them live yet, but I am sure I will at one of the First Mondays in the next few months.
2. Lejeune - New Best Friend: The singer's voice is a little nasal for my taste, but the music is interesting. I like their songs over all, especially "Replaced by Robots."
3. The Vita Ruins - Alien: Cool beans.
4. Rose - Regarding the 11th: Better break-up/heartbreak music than The Frames.
5. Thao Nguyen - Like the Linen: Another person that I have recommended to a couple ladies who have all loved her music.
6. Georgie James - Cheap Champagne: Catchy and fast. Pretty much describes most of their songs.
7. Le Loup - I had a dream I died: Not exactly a CDC candidate but the music is great.
8. These United States - Diving Boards Pointed at the Sky: Despite some notable hosers deciding not to go to their San Francisco show, I continue to proclaim this band to my friends. Even if my friends are losers.

Well that's that. I need to get a new job so I can have more income to spend on music.

*I accidentally hit post when I had only written half of the title. I contemplated leaving the post as it was because I thought it was a funny joke but decided it was more mehta than meta.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

So Yeah

Once again, I have failed at my bloggy duties. I have about 17 half-finished posts which I expect to finish tomorrow. I wouldn't believe me, either.

Expect at least a musical poop shoot tomorrow morning.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Kathleen Better Sign The Waiver

I can't promise that she won't get arrested while on my Cobagitation Tour next weekend. We'll hit the White House, AEI, CEI, the Capitol Building. We could even hit the offices of some lobbying firms if she feels up to it. I need to do some research and get some big sheets of sign-quality paper. If anyone else is interested in joining the tour, drop me an e-mail.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Zimbabwe Goes Even Further Overboard

I hope everyone involved in this incident recovers and that the entire country can come back to some sort of stability. I would be willing to bet hard currency that my parents know people involved. Crap.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Air Guitar Related News

C-Diddy was in tonight's episode of Law & Order: SVU! He played a lab tech discussing GHB in the episode titled Consent from 2001. I was about to go to turn off the television when I noticed him. What a coincidence.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

DC Air Guitar Championships Wednesday, June 4th

I have a ticket waiting for me. If you aren't there tomorrow, you're a damn loser.

930 Club

US Air Guitar

The National Finals are on August 8th in San Francisco. Buy your tickets as soon as possible, that will sell out. Don't be a fucking cobag and miss it for two years in a row. You know who you are.


Monday, June 02, 2008

Pop Ren!

Pop Rennaissance left a comment! Perhaps we will see updates to his myspace page and the western delegates of the newly reformed Cookie Democracy will attend a show.