Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Slightly Late to the Party

Two quick notes: if you know The Genius and are in his area, he's having a Holiday Cookie Party at his place on Saturday. Give him a call and you can tell him you're coming with cookies. Or you can tell him you're not coming. The Genius would also like to say that he's not sure why he's writing in the third person but hopes to break this with the next paragraph.

In my second note, I'd like to point out that I work nights, and thus am late to early morning news of terrible import.


An octopus species has been spotted using tools! This is seriously bad news for us humans, and also for dolphins. After reading the first couple paragraphs, I realized that we were all fucked because Aquaman finally has smart creatures to aid his battle against the land-dwellers, and that Ryan North must be warned!

Sadly, several bajillion people had the same thought. About Aquaman. Dude is pissed about his Robot Chicken episode.

Rick Ca-Rolled

My bar was caroled last night. The six of them came in and sang "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" to our crowd. Pretty much the entire bar sang along, including Scroogy McGenius. I remarked that this was the best trick I'd seen yet for getting free drinks, but then they left without having anything! What a wasted opportunity to get wasted on the cheap. Sing a couple carols, tell the bartender you'll keep singing until he pours you a free shot, down it, and move on to the next victim, er, bar.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Whales, Or What I Was Thinking About As I Walked Home Last Night

I would be unsurprised if the entire sushi-eating-capable* portion of humanity were able to consume the entire currently-living cetacean population in one busy afternoon and evening. I can not, at the time of writing, determine which result would cause me more sadness and general disappointment with humanity. Obviously, I know which result would surprise me more.

* Capability is determined as those with no known allergies with adequate income and also within a certain geographic proximity of a sushi-serving establishment and/or venue. (Ie. The Filet Strip Club and Sushi Bar in Courtsmouth, PA and that place in Albuquerque, NM where I went with my college girlfriend.)