You and Me Both

A Softer World cuts right to the bone with just a few words.

Philosophy in Comic Form

This recent Scenes from a Multiverse reminded me of Action Philosophers.  I should reread my collections, and maybe my philosophy texts.

Exactly the Kind of Robot I Want

This should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with my desire for pets of unusual cuddle-less-ness, but if someone were to buy me a robotic companion, I would want a tarantulabot friend.  We would hang out all day.

My daily task calendar just reminded me that I am a couple years late on Tarantula Tuesday posts. 

Yelling Bird VS Res Publica

Wherever Res Publica is blogging now, Yelling Bird is screaming it shorter, and harder.

And what is with that woman on NPR I heard a few days ago?  "I don't like Obama.  I hate him.  I can't even look at him."  She can't even look at Obama?  How could anyone interview that person without then asking them how it feels to be a bigot?  If you can't even look at someone because of their appearance, you need to reevaluate your, ahem, principles.  I am against everything Mitt Romney says he stands for, but I don't hate him.  I think Paul Ryan is giant prank being pulled on the Tea Party and everyone who has ever claimed to be Libertarian, but I don't hate him.  I don't even know if I am capable of hate anymore.

Slightly Late to the Party

Two quick notes: if you know The Genius and are in his area, he's having a Holiday Cookie Party at his place on Saturday. Give him a call and you can tell him you're coming with cookies. Or you can tell him you're not coming. The Genius would also like to say that he's not sure why he's writing in the third person but hopes to break this with the next paragraph.

In my second note, I'd like to point out that I work nights, and thus am late to early morning news of terrible import.

THIS SORTA JUST IN, BUT YOU'VE ALL PROBABLY KNOWN ABOUT IT FOR HOURS!!!

An octopus species has been spotted using tools! This is seriously bad news for us humans, and also for dolphins. After reading the first couple paragraphs, I realized that we were all fucked because Aquaman finally has smart creatures to aid his battle against the land-dwellers, and that Ryan North must be warned!

Sadly, several bajillion people had the same thought. About Aquaman. Dude is pissed about his Robot Chicken episode.

Happy Halloween 2009!

I'm busy working on my costume, and also working on the blog posts about Richmond. I'll need editorial assistance from my partners in crime, which may delay those posts a couple of days. In the meantime, my costume.

Penny Arcade Predicts the Summer Blockbuster

This comic from February 19, 2009 is mighty impressive. It was written in reference to a Resident Evil trailer that I was unable to view at the library, but I was immediately reminded of while watching District 9. I have been describing D9 as apartheid with ray guns. Weeks later, that movie still sits at my number one spot. I disagree thoroughly with Howard Tayler's rankings, but that's Freedom of Speech in action and I thoroughly agree with that principle.

I haven't seen Gamer, G.I. Joe: the Rise of Cobra, Wolverine, Land of the Lost, or Angels & Demons (nor will I, Dan Brown blows) but I will eventually. I have seen all of Trueblood season 1, and the shame runs deep as the darkest parts of your soul.

How Long Indeed?

How long before panel 5 is a t-shirt? I bet someone on the forums requested it 30 seconds after it was uploaded. Not to be bitter, but I'd rather inspire the feelings than wear the shirt.

If You Aren't Reading This Comic, You're a Cobag

I am the very model of a modern Gungun General,
I've information vegetable, dinosaur, and mineral;
I know the Queens of Naboo, and I led the fights historical,
From Tatooine to Coruscant, in order categorical.

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters Senatorial;
I understand accoutrements, both simple and sartorial,
Regarding eating humans I am teeming with a lot o' news -
With many cheerful facts about the flavour of those nice Naboos.

Yes, I know this is a joke about a musical. I can appreciate that other people might not share my views, and I can even change mine on occasion. This is not one of them however, as I still find most musicals to be brain-melting.

Why I Missed the SPX

Cuz I was freaking exhausted after working with Habitat For Humanity in NE DC. I put asphalt shingling up for one whole day and I am glad that I am not a roofer. I would have liked to have met John Campbell because his comics are great.

I will probably be doing another Saturday in November, but the really cool thing is that the Habitat project is kinda booked up with volunteers on the weekends. I doubt the same is true about the weekdays, but this genius needs to get some employment.

About as Good an Explanation as We are Likely to Get

The recent economic troubles/disaster/shitstorm/totalfuckingidioticlunacy in song. And in color.

And WTF? Is Yahoo running a nostalgia special on the news from 1950 through 1989? That quote from Putin that keeps showing up in Call of Duty 4 about "...those who fear the Soviet Union are right, and those who miss it are insane..." (paraphrased) apparently was an admission of insanity on his part. If this keeps up, I expect to be informed that I have to go back to grade school in Romania and have my Tiger electronic game stolen by the Secret Police again.

Do Not Blog About It

This is me not blogging about something about which I don't know anything: Raven is wearing a funny t-shirt that probably doesn't refer to something about which I know nothing at all.

Fantasies Involving Pregnancies

Okay, I could have phrased that title better.

I know a lot of women right now who are pregnant, or are recently un-pregnant and pushing around little, mewling wads of balogna in strollers. Not one of these women has ever gone full-Rambo and taken out a room full of ninjas, however. That would be pretty frigging sweet, even if I had to fend off the rival ninja gang as well.

Better Said By Others

There are some times when it is best to let other people speak for you. In a foreign country, when complementing you, or when dealing with the police. Every now and then, I find something that sums up a lot of my feelings about a subject that maybe I hadn't even been thinking about or maybe just hadn't been able to elucidate verbally, but this Fart Party comic pretty much sums up the way I feel about DC: it sorta sucks a whole lot and then I stumble upon a brief moment that reminds me of all the reasons I live here.

I went to a show last night and had a good time. I converted $37.65 worth of nickels and dimes into a cab ride (STUPID ERRATIC METROBUSES!), a new CD, and the entrance fee to Stella Schindler's CD release show at the Velvet Lounge.

In an announcement that is news to no one, I am really behind in some album reviews. I will have to get those done this weekend since I was called out by dontEATnachos a few weeks/months ago.

I Have Been Against It With You For Longer Than You Know

Monday's Penny Arcade is spot on. I sympathize completely, as I have detailed before. Why anyone want a pet with even the possibility of developing this problem? The only thing Helob the Tarantula expresses is insatiable hunger. "Cricket snorkel" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Girls With Slingshots Aims at Jennifer's Demographic

Jennifer's demographic being those who draw/paint nudes. As titillating as the subject may be for some of us, I thought Jennifer might appreciate Danielle Corsetto's work, while Miss Corsetto might appreciate the additional pimpage of her webcomic.

Did you know she draws the New Adventures of Batboy?

This Sort of Thing Happens When You're Famous

I am not exactly rhetorical but I will play along for your sake, Mr. North.

Another Thing

R Stevens is funny. If you aren't reading Diesel Sweeties, you suck. It is linked down on the right under "Daily Reads". Also, LOLBOTS. The Replicant one is brilliant.

Two Quick Comments Before I Run to Work

Scott Kurtz may be a lot of geeks' favorite punching bag, but I think PVP is sometimes funny. I have been moving away from it lately, as I find it seriously losing steam. I may have lost interest completely with this totally lame retread joke from Family Guy. The joke was funny when Family Guy did it because that show is a slim plot surrounded by pop culture jokes and bizarre asides and because Family Guy might as well be a sketch comedy show, but here on PVP it just seems lame and reinforces all the negative aspects of Family Guy-type humor. Furthermore, to have your father try to defend your humor and originality hammers home the complete lack of effort you are giving your work these days. Maybe PVP the series is taking away too much of your attention, but I am not going to pay money to find out.

No critique is fair without a suggestion of how to correct the mistakes*, so I would suggest you move back to your storyline gags about working in a magazine by gamers for gamers. Maybe you dump the WB** style romances, unless they are funny, to satisfy other critics, but I don't really care as long as it is funny.***

In other news, this story about a Tintin trilogy has me simultaneously hopeful and totally depressed. Peter Jackson and Guillermo del Toro would indubitably do fine work but Spielberg and Burton can not be trusted. Fucking Burton would probably shoe-horn Fucking Johnny Fucking Depp in the roles of Tintin, Captain Haddock, the Fucking Dog and whoever the Fucking Villain is, too. Seriously, Burton, you have lost your way and need to find it again. I don't know what happened to you with Planet of the Apes, but go watch Sleepy Hollow again and figure that shit out before you direct or re-imagine again.

*Nor is arrogance served without telling someone who is eminently more succesful than you how to run their online empire.
**Sorry, I meant the CW but who really gives a shit?
***Also, in the grand tradition of internet shit tossing, the other critics are stupid and wrong by the very fact that they aren't me.

An Expression of Solidarity

Matt Boyd, web comic writer of Three Panel Soul and former government contractor, was fired for talking about his potential purchase of a firearm at his office. He was debating the merits of buying a .22 bolt action rifle for target shooting for the accuracy and almost complete lack of lethality. This happened to be the day of, or just after, the Virginia Tech shootings. He was subsequently fired because his coworkers shit themselves when they overheard the wrong part of his conversation.

That is pretty bad, but it gets worse. Apparently, the cops paid him a visit after he posted the comics. I would be immensely pissed if something like that had happened to me. Oh, wait.

He is moving on and apparently moving out. It's kind of like being in an airport customer service line, you can get pissed and throw a fit but in the end you still have to wait in that fucking horrendous line and deal with someone at the end who has dealt with four hundred other pissed off people, so you might as well remain calm and count ceiling tiles.

Good luck with the comic, Mr. Boyd.