Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Another Celebrity at the Video Store

A couple of nights ago, Jean Claude Van Damme came in and rented Hard Target. Last night, he came back into the store and threatened to get me fired because I failed to blog about him. He was also pretty pissed that the episode of Friends he was in is still out.


No more blogging at work for me. I'll get some cool stuff in later tonight.

This is not a placeholder post, I never write those.

Monday, January 29, 2007

An Item of Great Interest to Me

I am honestly working on a post about the march the other day. It was impressive. Also, while sort of doing work I found two news items that are relevant to other people's recent posts in the neighborhood:
Congolese warlord to stand trial for war crimes for allegedly using kadogos (child soldiers). If he is found guilty, I hope he burns in hell. I saw some of these listless zombies in the Congo and one of them walked up to me, with an AK almost as big as he was, and asked me for some cigarettes. The kid couldn't have been more than 12 and he was drunk or seriously hungover. His eyes had that dead fish look to them. Joseph Kabila promised all of his kadogos an education. I doubt that any of them got it. Joseph Kabila got shot in the head. I am not sure how I feel about that.

"Je suis desole, no fumar."

The kid ambled off back to sit down with his two compatriots who were lounging on a WW2 era Russian anti-aircraft gun, complete with all the accessories like ammunition as thick as my forearm. I am glad that I never found out if they knew how to use it or not.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Saturday's March

There is a big pro-peace march in DC tomorrow. I will be going. The weather should be nicer than today, but I think I would prefer the sub-zero weather we are having today. That way I could have more padding on when the police start beating us all.

I have never been to a march before, mostly because I either forget or find out after the fact. I want you all to know that this will be seriously cutting in to my World of Warcraft time. Just so you know how much I am sacrificing for my beliefs.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

State of the Union: Undressed and Unwatched

I did not watch the latest and greatest temper tantrum by the Child in Chief. I bet I could summarize it for you, but I won't. It would just be the same thing you have heard from people who actually watched, but perhaps less funny. Possibly even sadder. I have determined two courses for America until the next inauguration: bomb something porcelain or chutes and ladders.

In regards to the second option, chutes and ladders is probably the best board game in the history of board games. Clearly defined rules and goals allow for an absolute minimum of cheating except for those of extremely questionable character (no references to Republican Representatives or Senators allowed, that is too easy) and all children are happy to play a game that reminds them of the playgrounds that they may have seen at some time while the SUV was whizzing about as mommy and daddy stocked up on duct tape, bleach and band aids. Plus, there is no amount of skill that can possibly have any affect on the game, thus all are truly equal in the land of chutes and ladders. Equality in board games is extremely important as all have the same possibilities in life, unless they make bad choices like being born to the urban poor or even being born addicted to crack. Those are bad choices. Chutes and ladders emphasizes a free market wonderland where all can succeed if they really try, except for those who lose. They just aren't trying hard enough. This is a perfect utopia in which all have a chance to work as an editor for large national publishing houses, regardless of their qualifications, because it is the dice and the chutes and ladders that determine the fate of all players. And isn't that what life is all about? One roll of the dice and we all win, unless we lose?

In regards to the first option, spicy foods are sometimes unpleasant about 22 hours later. Unpleasant for you and unpleasant for the guy seated in front of you on a plane for 6 hours. It is doubly unpleasant for him if you already have a low opinion of him for getting annoyed at you while you laugh hysterically at Little Miss Sunshine. That is a really funny movie and we're on a plane. Plane rides in coach will always suck, but they will suck that little bit less if you just sit back and ignore everyone else and be courteous. If you decide to make the choice to be rude, I will just have to fart the entire ride back to DC and I can take every bit of wind I break while you will just break from the strain.

EDIT: Just noticed that I mispelled "State". Whoops.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Winter is Back and So Am I

I have returned to DC from my brief but thoroughly inebriated trip to San Francisco. I will always look back on this weekend as a fine time in my life in which I learned some Hebrew, drank some bacon infused bourbon, rolled my stomach in public, did not get beaten by three four and a half foot tall Latinos, hung out with friends, saw some sea lions living the awesome life, watched the Colts win and said some funny stuff that no one can quite clearly remember.

One thing I do remember saying was, "Ok, the next time you tell that story, end it with 'And then we made out.'"

I could have done without seeing the Colts win. I had managed to live through an entire season without seeing one second of football until we went into that bar. This bar (821 Bar on Divisadero across from the Little Star pizzeria) had really awesome $5 drinks and a sweet happy hour. One of the drinks tasted like Kool-Aid. So, I guess all the wingnuts were right about that.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting or Carousing with Pacifists

Tonight, One Night Only: 8 pm O'Reilly's Holy Grail in San Francisco, The Genius will answer all your questions about being a celebrity blogger. He may even sign your chests/copies of the Washington Post.

We will then cruise around and hopefully have some more drinks, listen to some music and maybe even embark on a Tragic Tranny Safari of the TUSTOSAN.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Story Time!

Ok, this series of pictures is funny and surprisingly worksafe.

Found it on Pollywogs.

I will be in San Francisco this weekend. If you can figure out how to contact me without sending lawyers out for me, do so. I will be celebrating my complete lack of fame on Saturday night.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Reaction to the Article in the Washington Post about the Tucker Carlson Incident

Tucker Carlson claims:
"I've got four kids at home and I've had serious problems with stalkers twice. . . . This guy is threatening to come to my house and I'm on the road all the time. What would you do? This guy is threatening my family."
If only that were true. Think of the toilets! The poor defenseless 7 and 1/2 bathrooms each have an innocent toilet and if Pop Renaissance is to be believed, my massive bowel movements obliterate toilets all across the continent!

Let's look at this situation from a serious, analytical perspective though. Tucker claims he was worried for his family when he came in and got all verbal in my grill. He then claims that when he is on the road, he can't protect his family. If this is at all true, then why did he wait two weeks to confront me? Why not come in the very next day and ask my employers about me? Why didn't he contact the office the moment he found the post? Why didn't he file a police report as soon as he felt that he and his family were threatened?

I have a couple of hypotheses:
1. Tucker Carlson did not find the original post dated December 23rd until the day he came in and harassed me, January 5th. He is an extremely inefficient googler and it took him two weeks to sort through the thousands of hits ahead of my blog. Until this whole thing blew up, it was very difficult to find my blog by searching for "Tucker Carlson." This would mean that he spent hours or weeks following all the hits until he got to mine. The idea that Tucker would follow all the 1,270,000 links in a web search seems fairly implausible given that he has a job and a family, both conditions that would render him unlikely to devote 24 hours a day to ego surfing.

2. Tucker Carlson was emailed a link to my site by someone who thought he should know about it. This is the least plausible situation in my mind because the people who don't like my posts get quite vocal about it. SeanS, a former blogger who might do something like this, quit blogging months ago and only left a handful of comments anyway. I also doubt his moronic compatriots come by anymore, since they would likely have taken any opportunity to mock my liberal rantings.

3. Tucker Carlson has a google news alert that alerts him to sites that mention him. This is a fairly easy thing to set up, I was able to set one up in less than a minute on my customized Google homepage. This is the most likely scenario. Tucker is alerted by his automated system to my post shortly after it is published on blogger.

Given the ease at which one can set up these type of alerts and the likelihood of Tucker either reading them all or having an assistant read them, I am going to guess that this is how he found the original post. Since it is extremely likely that Tucker knew about the post for two weeks before he confronted me, why didn't he take any of his legal options to protect the family about which he professes to worry so much?

Some more guesses:
1. Tucker does not actually care about his family. Due to the biological imperatives involved, we can rule this out.

2. Tucker cares deeply for his family but was too busy to file a police report and confront me any sooner than two weeks after the original post. We can rule this out as well for the same reason as number 1.

3. Tucker does not feel at all threatened and does not feel that his family was threatened at all. Given that Tucker has yet to file a police report so far as I know, I think this is the most likely situation. Some might say that the Metropolitan Police Department has not yet followed through on the report, but since this incident did not happen in Northeast and involves a rich white guy, we can reasonably say that the police would have followed through had any report been filed.

Thus, Tucker lied to the Washington Post when he said that felt threatened and was worried about his family. He definitely lied when he claimed that I said I was going to come by his house. I never have and I never will.

In regards to the allegations that I was claiming that I would violate the law regarding video rental privacy, that is so much bunk. At the time, I did not know about the Video Privacy Protection Act. However, ignorance of the law is not innocence. I again point that I have not revealed what was rented by Orange. I still remember what he rented and I don't think I will forget any time soon. The nature of this incident is such that I will forever carry that useless bit of knowledge with me. Should I choose to reveal that information, I understand that I could be possibly be held liable. I think the case would be thrown out, since Tucker himself has as yet raised absolutely no complaint about that part of the post. I have broken no laws and violated no privacy.

Take a look at this last bit from the Reliable Source:
Dick Gephardt taking advantage of D.C. Restaurant Week Thursday with his wife and a pal at Indique in Cleveland Park. We heard the former House minority leader's crew split a bottle of sauvignon blanc during their two-hour, three-course meal.
This reveals far more information about Dick Gephardt than I did about Tucker Carlson, yet is not insulting. Is that the only difference? That insults invade privacy more than actually revealing information?

It is also important to note that I was not fired for blogging about anything. My boss stated in a conversation after my termination that he didn't care about my blogging, only that they had been threatened with legal action. The blog was not mentioned to me by my boss.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Timeline of the Tucker

I have been asked to write a timeline of all the interactions and incidents surrounding the Tucker situation. I am worried that too much more on this is going to turn my ego space into a one trick pony, but I do take requests on occasion. The real problem with ponies is that I don't know how to ride ponies and they are enemies of the state.

Between 8 and 9:30 pm on Friday, December 22, 2006: Tucker comes to store, opens account and rents unspecified movie.

Approximately 12:15 am Saturday, December 23, 2006: Chuckles publishes blog about encounter.

Between 6:30 and 8 pm on Friday, January 5, 2007: Tucker enters store, threatens Chuckles, leaves. Chuckles resumes working and tries not to let shit get to him.

Approximately 11:15 pm on Friday, January 5, 2007: Chuckles takes post down from site in order to be a basically nice guy, even though he doesn't like being threatened in his place of business.

Between 12:30 and 1:30 pm on Monday, January 8, 2007: Chuckles receives call that his employment at the unnamed video store has been terminated due to threats of legal action against the store.

Approximately 2:31 pm Monday, January 8, 2007: Chuckles reposts the original offending post, updates it, updates the explanation post, then posts his statement of the entire affair.

Between 7:00 pm and 8:15 pm Monday, January 8, 2007: A man identifying himself as a lawyer for Tucker Carlson enters the video store and asks questions of employee (whom we shall call EmpAlpha) about Chuckles such as Chuckles' full name, blog address, home address, current employer, whether the post was removed, whether the blog was deleted, etc. Chuckles arrives at video store shortly after this person has left.

10:40 pm Monday, January 8, 2007: Chuckles updates the post about the whole thing.

Sometime after 5 pm Wednesday, January 10, 2007: A person enters the store asking an employee (now called EmpBeta) questions about EmpAlpha. It is currently not known whether the questing person on Wednesday was the same as the person on Monday. The questing person on Wednesday did not identify himself as a lawyer for Tucker Carlson so far as Chuckles knows. Chuckles receives word of this incident from EmpAlpha, not EmpBeta. EmpBeta has not read Chuckles' blog, apparently.

Between 2:00 and 2:30 pm Thursday, January 11, 2007: Chuckles gives interview to Washington Post Reliable Source column.

3:14 pm, Thursday, January 11, 2007: Chuckles receives word that Tucker Carlson is denying having a lawyer and Tucker also states that he is not pursuing any action against The Genius.

You all may make your own conclusions from the facts of the situation. Personally, I doubt the person that had been asking questions about me will ever show up again. The simplest answer is that Tucker called the lawyer off as soon as he received a phone call from the Post. It is almost too bad that moron of a lawyer couldn't figure out how to either find me or contact me, even after I posted an email address on this blog. I doubt that guy is worth the money, but what do I know? I am just a member of the peasant class.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

An Update to the Tucker Situation

I have more disturbing news about the Tucker Situation. At this point in time, all I can say is that the lawyer/private detective is still digging around looking for me.

Anyone know a good lawyer who specializes in harassment cases in the District? I don't have any money at the moment, but I could eventually get some with help from friends and family. Please send emails with your legal suggestions to geniusblogs AT sluggy DOT net.

In Other News:
I am in a charity bachelor auction. The proceeds all go to V Day. Let's hope that Tucker's lawyer decides that this is the best way to contact me and bids a few grand to win a date with me in order to intimidate me instead of my friends.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Why Shouldn't She Be Allowed?

Thanks to Clif at Outside the Tent:
CARLSON: Good man. So what else is going on?

ROBERTS: Well, then we have this sort of—going from the sublime to the ridiculous, we have this ongoing lawsuit. Now, do you remember Washingtonian? Washingtonian was the hill staffer who wrote a very indiscrete blog about her liaisons with various boyfriends. One of these boyfriends got upset and sued her, saying that he was sharing—she was sharing all these intimate details about what they did and how they did it, more than we really needed to know.

And now Anna Marie Cox, the original Wonkette, is being dragged into this lawsuit, because she was the one that basically took what was supposed to be, quote, a little blog, and turned it into a sensation in Washington. Anna Marie is ducking the serving of papers, so we‘re not sure when it is going to catch up with her, and we‘re watching that with bated breath.

CARLSON: But he is suing? You know, I have to say, I know a lot of people involved in this, I don‘t wish any of them harm. But on the other hand, you shouldn‘t write about people you sleep with in detail. So, you know what, I don‘t know who this guy is and I hope he wins.

ROBERTS: I‘m old-fashioned. It basically says you‘re not supposed to kiss and blog, all right?

CARLSON: Exactly. That‘s why I like you, Roxanne. You‘re a good gossip columnist and a good person. Thank you, I appreciate it. Roxanne Roberts of the “Washington Post,” thanks.

This is a total bullshit, patriarchal statement. " shouldn't write about people you sleep with..." There goes all of the Hollywood biography business. Tucker Carlson is saying you shouldn't write about your life and he is clearly the moral compass of America. If the Washingtonienne had been a dude, would anyone care that he was sleeping with other hill staffers, married or not?

Look out, Jenna Jameson, Karrine Steffans, and Nikki Six. Tucker Carlson disapproves of you and his vengeance is known to be largely comedic, as I have experienced. The "blame the trampy woman" tactic has been used more aggressively and with more bile in other conversations, as Auguste has demonstrated in two posts, the first and the second. This is an old argument about the state of sex politics in America, but Tucker is also the guy who once called bullshit on O'Reilly about an "asking for it' comment in regards to rape. Maybe his wikipedia page should be further updated that women should never be allowed to enjoy sex and talk about it. Roxanne Roberts' statements are not thrilling either. I would have liked to see her say that Jessica Cutler did nothing wrong and that there were two people involved in the decision making process that led to sex.

It takes two to tango, at least that is what I have heard. It's been a while since anyone wanted to dance. That doesn't change the fact that I expect women to write about me and if they did? Oh well. If they say disparaging things about me or, good heavens, describe what we did in bed? Dear lord, I might just get the vapors! Maybe we all wouldn't care about sex so much if we would have more of it.

Again, Clif deserves all the credit for pointing out this transcript to me.

Think of the tarantulas, the poor defenseless arachnids

It is highly unlikely that many of the 735 new visitors to this formerly unknown blog know much about my lovely pet tarantula, Helob. Truth be told, I don't know much about him or her. I don't even know what sex or species she/he is, but I respect his/her privacy while still blogging about our relationship much like I respect the privacy of the humans I may blog about meeting in my former place of business. Some people might point out that Constance Rattigan never trusted a man with a pet tarantula, but I would argue against this position.
Tarantulas are loyal and loving pets that ask for very little from their caregivers beyond the ability to tolerate massed cricket song issuing forth from their kitchenettes. Helob is a very loyal pet who has never turned against me or bitten me. She/He has never had an oppurtunity to do either, but that is irrelevant. He/She has also never had the oppurtunity to give me kisses either, but can you blame me? This spider has fangs almost an inch long, they can't be great for kissing.

Anyway, I was tossing and turning last night and I woke up wondering how Helob was taking all this excitement. I walked into my kitchenette and turned on the light. Helob did not move. This is not unusual because she/he rarely moves unless Helob is hungry and there happen to be crickets in the terrarium willing to bet against Darwin. I call these crickets the Creationists. They walk right up to Helob, touch the spider with their antenna, move closer and are promptly eaten. The Darwinist crickets survive longer by climbing to the top of the platic half-pipe cave in the terrarium, making quick scavenging trips to the floor for the apple bits I leave them.

I am worried that Helob may be a little stressed out because there are a lot of cricket carcasses in the terrarium that aren't the dessicated husks that Helob leaves behind. I think she/he may be feeling poorly. The little guy/gal is certainly off her/his feed. That is a bad sign with other animals like horses and elephants, so I am guessing it is a bad sign for tarantulas as well.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Wonkette and The Genius versus Tucker Carlson

It also appears that I am not the only person on the tubenet with whom the arrogant branmuffin has a problem, Tucker apperently dislikes Wonkette as well. I can state on a stack of Qurans, Bibles and Torahs that Tucker Carlson was wearing a bowtie when he first entered the store. It had white spots, but I can't tell you what the other color was due to my extreme red-green colorblindness.

His Bowtie Knows Where You Sleep...err...Work

Image by Gavin @ Sadly No!
The wingnut wankjob I mentioned in the formerly removed post, Tucker Carlson, has threatened the video store where I now formerly worked with legal action and as a result, I no longer work there. I do not have access to these threats but I can imagine that they consist of something similar to this:

"I'm easily the most recognizable conservative pundit today, as my wikipedia page will attest, but goddam it, I deserve to be recognized only if I stand to benefit from it! I am a huge asshole and I expect to be treated like one. I will fucking destroy anyone who dares to poke fun at me and so help me god my bowtie is stylish and not at all funny! I can't believe that I might be subject to ridicule after I physically threatened another man with destruction because he mentioned me on his blog!(This part is absolutely true.) You people are terrorists and I demand that all video store records now be accessible by the feds and only the feds! I want to come in and be denied rental because I have not filled out an ESTNJ stroke 6 Alpha form in triplicate! It is just inconceivable that a man of my utter cobagitude be the brunt of harmless jokes on the internets!"

Well, motherTucker, this is the internet and there is nothing you can do to me anymore. I will admit that from your perspective, it was easy to see how I was being a complete dick in my previous post. It is likely that you have never heard of the various scandals that have erupted when jerks have outed bloggers who wished to remain anonymous. I would be surprised if you have not heard about Michelle Malkin's incident. I thought I was covering my ass by stating very deliberately that I would never share your information with anyone. I did this because I wanted to proceed with a verbal joke that actually came from my personal experience. I did not realize that my personal experience was not allowed.

In the new digital age, regarding a statement like this:

I won't tell you where he lives, though. That would be wrong and stupid. I will also not be running around ordering 10,000 copies of America: The Book and having it sent to his place even if that would be more awesome than frozen urine treats for his home.
as a threat is batshit loco. A barely anonymous blogger has declared that he is always going to take steps to ensure your privacy and you go apeshit psycho on his ass. One might note here that I did not falsify any details of our interaction to hide my identity, thus basically announcing myself to you, although you might imagine that I really had no expectation that I would actually be conversing with you via my blog, but you've never left a comment. You did admit to having "read" my blog, but you sadly chose to avoid leaving a comment on any post even the ones about my tarantula. I guess you don't have much use in your life for ridiculously intelligent and physically endowed people.

I googled "Tucker Carlson stalker" in an attempt to determine why a man might go from zero to asshatted ragemonkey over a minor comment on a blog that barely rates as Z-list. The first ten hits were all about Tucker's comment that Canada is stalking the US. That is pretty funny in and of itself. Just the other day, I thought I was being followed and turned around only to see Canada turn ninety degrees and start whistling. The second page of hits contained a link to reviews of his book on (OOO! Maybe Canada IS stalking the US!). In the third review, Bernard Chapin says that Tucker was falsely accused of rape by some stalkerish person. I can see how this might set a man on edge and make him wary of being mentioned comedically on some random blog. Technorati must love me because the number of daily links to my site can probably be counted on my ginormous wang. (That is a comment on the fact that I have one wang and maybe one link as day if I am lucky.)

In order to perform due diligence, I looked through the first four pages of that google search. I found only the one reference to a stalking incident and a whole mess of references to Tucker's infamous comment, which I suppose he thought was funny, about Canada being a stalker. Yet, PTSD can linger for many years, as our veterans know first hand, and therapy is important but you have to want to change, Tucker. I can't change your trauma for you.

Compare what I wrote to this absolutely true exchange from Friday night when you marched into the store:
Tucker: If you keep this shit up, I will fucking destroy you.
The Genius (Me): Whoah, perhaps you would like to take this outside where you can continue threatening me without disturbing the other customers.
Tucker: *Looks out the window, then back at me* I am not threatening you.
The Genius: You just said you would fucking destroy me.
Tucker: No, I didn't.
I can see where I might have erred in my previous post. I wasn't a belligerent chundernozzle. At one point, Tucker was heard to exclaim
"Don't whoah me"
in response to my attempts to bring the conversation back into the realm of sanity. Since I am a basically nice guy, I even took down the post. Upon learning that Tucker followed through on his threat of destruction, I republished the post that so aggravated him and was allegedly threatening.

I also thought I was being extremely funny by mentioning that I would
not be sending you 10,000 copies of Jon Stewart et al's America: The Book. In fact, I was being extremely funny with that one, this is one of the virtues of being the massively wanged Genius that I am. I could believe that you might be sad that I would not be sending you reading material of such a humorous nature, but I am not a man of several inheritances and 10,000 copies is a little pricey. Hence, it was humorous. I will also admit that the comment about frozen urine treats may have crossed the oh-so-individual line and may have seemed directly threatening when really it was a reference to a prank performed back in college by friends of mine.

Perhaps if I had mentioned that we were roughly similar in size, above the waist that is, and I always thought he looked taller on TV, it would have been funnier. Hell, that is always funny. It might have been funny if I mentioned how oddly even (orange?) his skin tone was and he always looks so pale in the screen captures I see on TPM Muckraker. I might have even gone so far as to say he should fire his make up person for trying to hide that suspiciously even tan.

The difference between our actions is that I wrote a silly post on a blog that previously received less than 10 hits a day, with 5 of those being mine. You came at me in person, like the fake-tan-having bully that you are, and directly threatened both my health and my livelihood.

Thus, you are a gigantic cobag and I will no longer have the joy of dealing with drunk people arguing with me about their excessive late fees or pervs asking me about the next shipment of porn and whether we were getting any hermaphrodites themed videos or kids asking me to find the pokemon because they can't see straight let alone spell due to their massive daily intake of sugar and Ritalin or witness recently divorced men in their forties hit on my female coworkers. I should thank you for relieving me of the question I was constantly asking myself, "What the fuck am I doing here on a Saturday night for seven bucks an hour?" However, by being a gigantic cobag, you have opened yourself up to the lofty heights of satire previously reserved for dorks like Glenn Reynolds, Ann Althouse and everybody at both NRO and Powerline.

This mess is your bed and this is my blog. Please enjoy your stay, you fucking assbag.

UPDATE AS OF 10:40 PM JANUARY 8, 2007: Tucker Carlson's lawyer or someone claiming to be in this position has hassled my friend and former coworker around 7:30 to 8:00 pm this evening. This person marched into the video store and demanded information about me and insisted that my friend divulge my full name, place of residence and any other further places of employment I might have. My friend is totally effing rad and rightly told this person that there was no way in hell he/she was giving away any information about me and then demanded that this hassler then produce their name and place of employment. The hassler claimed that this information was confidential. My friend then said, "Well, now you know how I feel." I am rather in awe of the loyalty this friend displayed and I should find some appropriate way to pay him/her back for the aggravation suffered.

If this harassment does not cease by 5 pm Tuesday the 9th, I will be forced to take further legal action.

Other Posts To Check Out On This Issue:
Pinko Punko's Beautiful Post On 3 Bulls
Teh L4m3 Brings His Amazing Wit to Bear
Outside the Tent Breaks Out the Serious Pants in Style

Additional links added 7:30 PM 1/9/07:
The Guns of Auguste
Sadly, No!
Paddykraska at Daily Kos
Plover at 3Bulls!
Orange at Chrome Beach
Fish gets in on it, too.

If any members of the press would like to contact me, please feel free to email me at: geniusblogs AT sluggy DOT net

UPDATE AS OF 11:00 AM 01/11/07: The lawyer/private detective is still trying to find me through my former colleagues at the video store. I am seeking my own legal counsel as I said I would take further harassment seriously.

Friday, January 05, 2007

I Have Removed A Post UPDATED

I have been asked, nay, threatened with "destruction" because of an earlier post I wrote about a certain famous conservative pundit. I have removed the post from the blog. I have copies in a safe place, should my legal counsel advise me that I am free and clear.

It is odd, but these blow ups do seem to happen on the weekends, don't they?

UPDATE INFORMATION 1/08/07: Upon further reflection and discussion with many persons both legal and humorous and some just humorous, I have reinstated the original post. Anyone offended by this action should just grow and get a sense of humor. Oh, and bite me, cobag.

And now, some videos:

Thursday, January 04, 2007

A Little Too Close To Home

Today's issue (episode?) of Questionable Content is personally relevant.

I regret nothing.

Some might ask how that could be even remotely possible (plausible?) but the answer is simple: I like myself. Some might say I like myself a little too much, but they are just losers that don't understand the awesome majesty that is me and having me in their sad little lives. I am a golden sun shining beautifully into other people's existence. Just watch out for flares.

And sunspot activity.

Damn. I just broke another metaphor.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

And the survey says:

Go Fuck Yourself. In negotiations, one side offers one concession to the other side while the other side offers similar concessions so that each side may come away with a satisfactory compromise. Stating that you will veto anything you don't like is not offering a pledge of bipartisanship, it is a statement of continued thuggery and I will pray to any being listening that the Democrats show some spine and tell you to fuck the hell off.

In other news, intermittentancy has been plaguing me at home and I am surprised that I have been able to blog what I have from there. This problem has gotten so bad that I haven't been able to gain more than one level in the last week in WoW. I have been trying to be a good little cobag about blogging from work, but that isn't going to work any more.

Moral: Don't get Comcast unless you really want to fight for it.