Thursday, September 27, 2007

First Baghdad, Next Your SUVs

Did Secretary Rice just declare war on our aging, coal-fired powerplants? Are we going to be launching cruise missiles at SUVs and the factories that produce them? Are we going to send SWAT teams out to the homes of the CEO of the most polluting corporations and arrest them and all their lieutenants? How many second-in-commands are there at BP? Can the board of Dupont now be declared enemy combatants?

Global warming and global pollution is a disaster that we have created. We have to admit that it is our fault and take immediate steps to fix the problem. We can not let corporations pollute anymore than we can allow people to litter.

When I go hiking, I bring extra trash bags so I can pick up the shit that assholes and cobagz leave behind. That shit pisses me off like few other things do. There are trash cans on almost every block of my neighborhood but people still drop shit on the ground all over the place. It is fucking disgusting but these rich cobagz do it all the time. Too many housekeepers in my neighborhood, these chundernuggets think that someone will always be there to clean up after them. I'll do it, but not for you jackasses. I am doing it for me.

One More Item on the List of Stuff Ruined by the Bush Administration

In addition to AG's birthday, we have item #67104 on the list:

Proposing at dawn in the mountains. What a fucking cobag. Jenna, sweetie, you know he's only dating you so he can try to be an even worse president than your dear old daddykins, right?

In all fairness, how much would it suck to be her? If you are the spawn of the most widely reviled president in American history, dinner conversation has got to be tough if you have any shred of a conscience or soul:
"Soooo, Dad, what did you do at work today?"
"I think Rove, Dick and I figured out a way to grab people off the streets. We'll just call them enemy non-combatants for badmouthing Daddy's decisions."
"Don't you think that is a little unethical or, I dunno, unconstitutional?"
"Not if you want me to sign your permission slips anymore."
"Oh, right."

GMail's RSS feeds are a little off

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime.
G. Gordon Liddy

The press is like the peculiar uncle you keep in the attic - just one of those unfortunate things.
G. Gordon Liddy

Why is it there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?
G. Gordon Liddy

I just have two questions for you, Google. What in the name of Nixon makes you think I would appreciate these quotes from Liddy? The second question is, how can I turn off your stupid GMail RSS feed?

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


From a flyer that showed up in my office, advertising some conference:

"we’ll explore the unique emotional development of boys and men, the different ways men and women respond to psychotherapy, and the special psychological challenges men face, including their preoccupation with money, power, and competition, as well as their use of work, anger, isolation, substance abuse, and sexuality to mask troubling symptoms like depression."

Yeah, I don't have a clue what working excessively long hours has to do with depression. I might have time to think about this if I wasn't so damned busy all the time. Believe me, I am not working all these extra hours because I am hiding, I am working all these extra hours because of deadlines. If I don't work like mad, how likely am I to get a decent raise this year? How likely am I to remain employed if I miss deadlines, despite the fact that a 3 day project was dropped in my lap with a 2 day deadline?

Besides, the only thing waiting for me at home is laundry and mess of an apartment. And the World of Warcraft. And a big goddam spider. Ok, so now I'm a little depressed.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I'm Giving Up

If I am going to watch this democracy slide into fascism, then I am going to be as informed as I can about it. I will have to sacrifice many hours of leveling my World of Warcraft characters and most of my hair to stress, but I am no longer going to wait for bloggy friends to link the best stories. I am going to read it all, the Howler, Firedoglake, Kos(or whatever), you name it, I'm going there.

I will have to start meditating again to avoid going completely crazy. I will have to work out more to avoid letting my sadness and anger at the Democratic Party's continued compliance ruin my body. I will likely combust sometime around Thanksgiving and be healed by the 24 pound organic, free-range turkey I ordered for the event. If my family is lucky, I'll even cook it. If I am lucky, I will die in a turkey frying incident and not be forced to watch a country I love devolve into a bad science fiction movie state.

The Thing About Ebola

Shorter Genius: I am no epidemiology expert but I have read a book on the subject and Ebola is fucking terrifying. It burns pretty fast and is not airborne and thus unlikely to be a world killer but it could definitely devastate a city.

In other aspects of this story, can the Congo catch a fucking break? The Four Horsemen fucking love Africa. It would be nice if the international community could make those bastards take a long break.



Saturday, September 22, 2007

Holy Shit You Are fucking Kidding Me

Dragons of Autumn Twilight the Movie?

Well, good for Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman whom I have met once in college and expressed my teenage sadness at the death of Flint and all but..seriously? I am going to side with the "I hope it succeeds beyond their dreams" people. Good luck.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Totally Tarantula Tuesday: Who Needs Meth?

I'm all three forms of gamer: RPGer, wargamer, videogamer and a GM! Woooo! All those others weirdos are just odd.

When we play Battlelords of the 23rd Century, I am the sniper and also the rules lawyer. When we have rules questions and they benefit the players in such a way as to fuck the situation, I then "remember" one that benefits the GM next. I keep saying that we wouldn't have these problems if the GM would just read the effing books. dandrobium may not like that much but fuck it, I have helped rebuild so much shit in his house1, I deserve some damn breaks in game. Shit, man, if he had thought about it a little harder we would have installed a whole new shower in the basement, one of those fiberglass one that come in pieces and then he would have had to replaster the fucking thing but just because I have never apprenticed myself to a fecking plumber or carpenter, I can't be trusted. Shiiiit, our dad rebuilt our house in Chevy Chase and I paid better subconscious attention to that than I did the fucking Thundercats.2 How else would you explain how I know how to fix plumbing problems? From my time at the gutter company? Probably. I learned a lot about water in that shitty job. Every damn time I talk about his homeowner projects and offer advice, unsolicited to be true, I have been confirmed by every source he can find. Does this make him trust me on anything? Fuck no! It has made him trust me less, like I am some sort of idiot savant about home improvement. This is the only thing his wife will trust me with, aside from their son, which is saying something because I don't think she would trust me with 20 bucks otherwise. You want to know where this shit really comes from? Gene Fucking Hackman.3 His real name, look it up. I just imagine a man with more training and experience and ask myself how he would handle this problem. I can fix anything. Except electricity, I don't fuck with that shit. Fucking shit'll kill you deader than you can say Russell Crowe sucked ass in Gladiator.4 I think I drank too much coffee today and I am supposed to meet some pretty ladies tonight. I should film that cuz it's gonna be funnier than that video of the donkey violating some dude in a field. Which was DAMN funny. I do believe that I will be doing my impression of the Human Torch by evening's end. I am not sure what I mean by that.

1 I have more fun working on his house than I do in the World of Warcraft. I wouldn't say yes to everything if it weren't. That being said, I am still ashamed that I passed out on the floor asleep while everyone else kept on painting.
2 I had Mum-Ra and the frog dude and my younger brother had Jackal-Guy or whatever. I always thought my parents hated me because they got me the fucking FROG dude. How lame was that character concept?
3 Hackman will fucking kill you if you don't get the blocking right this time.
4 Russell Crowe is the fucking Dyson of actors. He never loses suction no matter the plot!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

People still care about the Da Vinci Code?

New book: Shredding The Da Vinci Code And Vindicating The Deity of Christ

Newport Beach, CA, Sept. 20, 2007 - Shredding The Da Vinci Code And Vindicating The Deity Of Christ by Francis De Souza, not only exposes Dan Brown's chicanery, but-as the title suggests, vindicates the deity of Christ in a manner that is compelling and uniquely different.

Newsflash, jackass: The Da Vinci Code was a work of FICTION. Fucking hell, all you dumb morons who insist on writing book after book about how the Da Vinci Code isn't true are the most gullible bunch of rubes I have never met. I am sick and tired of getting these stupid damn announcements in my work inbox. Nobody cares, cobag! It was a terrible book and an even worse movie, but only because the story was so damn boring and all the actors were asleep at the wheel. I would love to see a book blasting the Da Vinci Code for it's shitty prose and recycled plot twists, but NOOOO, all anyone cares about is the fact that A WORK OF FICTION claims that Jesus got busy with Mary Magdalene.

Why the hell aren't these same people writing endless essays about Philip K. Dick being wrong because there aren't any aliens in the Bible? Why aren't they publicizing books about Jack McDevitt's Academy novels? What the fuck is wrong with you idiots that this is what you dwell on years after the fad passed? There are actual fucking problems in the world that need urgent solutions, you fucking nitwits.


Other Types of Oh Shit Moments

Realizing that the dog running towards you is not happy.

Realizing that the bathroom you just walked into is actually an illegal pharmacist's office.

Realizing that you just approved a print job for 20 million copies, not 20 thousand copies.

Realizing that the airplanes that you can hear flying over head are in fact fighter jets and not jumbo jets and that they are flying low enough to give you a fucking haircut.

What the fuck is going on? What jackass gave permission to fly that low over a goddam city? Those things are damn loud and I missed the coolest part of (some totally rad song)! Now I have to restart the song.


XKCD warned us but I never knew how true a danger they are!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Talk Like a Pirate Day AKA Kill Like a Ninja Day

Hey Pirates! You better be watching over your shoulder today because all this piratical nonsense is likely to make the ninjas hiding among us totally flip out and kill someone.

In other news, this story would totally be killing me right now if my college hadn't done the same thing when I was a Junior/Senior. I had two/three shitty years of sleeping on a stained and beaten old mattress in college, not even counting the spinal travesties that were my high school beds, and these punks don't know how good it is to have a double mattress. Getting it on was hard enough with my awkward social habits and fumbling looks but those mattresses were like your best cockblocking friend. If you tried to shift position, you were likely to have a spring burst through the top and stab you in the kidney. That is one tetanus shot that is awful hard to explain to your parents. Fucking kids have it easy these days.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Try, Try Again

Well, this just sucks. I really like the idea of calling the new stadium Taxation Without Representation Field. I would consider going to a Nationals1 game if they did that. I would ultimately reject any offered tickets to any game at that stadium, except offers that came with unrestricted access to multiple Senators and the PA system.

Maybe I should go forward with my idea to get the DC Flag tattooed2 on my shoulder or just the phrase "3 Stars, 2 Bars, 0 Votes." What do you think?

1 The irony of naming it Taxation Without Representation Field would likely not be lost on the business owners who were taxed specifically to pay for the stadium.
2 Oooo, original! I am such a lame cobag.

Phone Pictures of ANSWER Coalition's Peace March Last Saturday

mdhatter and I marched for peace on Saturday, September 15th. We yelled, we chanted, we waved our signs. We even participated in a die-in. We spotted some yellow elephants and shouted at them to enlist. One guy in the march asked me, "Hey, you're a big guy, why don't you go shut those fuckers up?" To which I responded, "Peace on all fronts, buddy." The 60-ish woman next to us said, "Right on, young man." It was a pretty cool event, even if Bush doesn't give a shit about our opinions or demands.

Here are some pictures of the yellow elephants in action:

And here we see a bus all decked out for protests:

Here is a night picture of the Washington Monument, a monument dedicated to someone else who wasn't content to let rampant imperialism control his life:

And a chili dog:

Chili dog to come as soon as Verizon stops sucking. UPDATE: There it is!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Birds & Batteries Don't Mix

but they do make interesting music. I will see them when they come to DC October 15th. People in Madison and Chicago should check them out, too. You know who you are, you pals of the genius.

Check them out here and here.

Apparently TNT does not read the Washington Post

So Fred Thompson is a candidate for the Presidency of the United States.1 Not exactly new news. We know he's a liar and likely to fuck our country in the grand tradition of the Republican't Party, but what I really want to know is why his episodes of Law & Order are still playing on TNT? Does this violate the Equal Time standard/act/clause/code/whatever? I smell bullshit. One of the episodes playing last night had him in it, the one where a DA is killed and they find out he had borrowed someone's identity to be a DA. You know the one I mean, it had Briscoe and Green in it.2 Shouldn't Ted Turner be all over this? Dude, time to micro-manage.

1 Do you capitalize P? I'll leave it for now.
2 Lenny is dead. Long live Lenny.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


The iPod Touch is here. So basically, it is an iPhone with no antenna? But it has wireless internet connectivity. And a headphone jack. Hmmm.

Can I use VOIP on an iPod Touch? If so, why the fuck would I spend another hundred dollars or so on an iPhone when I could talk over Skype without paying a monthly phone bill in excess of $90? Maybe I'll buy one.

Did Steve Jobs just pull one over on himself? In the words of my super-intelligent nephew, I think he did.

In other news, this story linked by Lesley in a 3Bulls! is frigging awesome. Nature is going to kill us all and it won't end with a bang, but with a quietly struggling person muffled by layers of webbing being slowly digested by an enzymatic acid.

Lately, I have discovered a new way to entertain myself while I hid behind the mountain of paper at work: trying to confuse Pandora. My Man Man experiment was not a huge success, but Animal Collective radio has potential. Blonde Redhead radio seems to be a flop from the start.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Dinner with Mandos at Dukem, Judgement: Delicious!

And surprisingly affordable! I had a rare cubed beef dish that was plenty spicy! I wonder how many sentences I can end with an exclamation point? Oops.

Mandos swooped into town for a brief visit with folks unknown to discuss topics unknown and we managed to get together for a brief man-date. Coffee at 14 U and Ethiopian food at Dukem. DC may not have any decent Mexican food, but who needs that when you can have two heaping plates of spicy beef and fermented bread? Awesome. We talked about all sorts of stuff, mostly blogging. Lots of politics including the problem of public transportation in America. We even discussed the X-Men briefly. I am not sure why. The X-Men suck these days and Brett Ratner can blow a goat. It was an interesting discussion.

Frankly, I am honestly glad that Mandos did not reveal my fate, doom, or future because while a display of powers is always cool, I would rather not know that I am going to be run over by car while cursing out the bastards who refuse to stop at pedestrian crosswalks. Ooops.

Afterwards, Mandos flew off into the night leaving me rather confused because I could discern no obvious means of propulsion and contrary to Superman, flight is not possible without some form of exhaust. I also thought DC was largely a no fly zone except for the airspace over my apartment. I bet Mandos has clearance but given his odd black coating and strange geometry, he could be making use of available stealth technologies, too.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Where was I?

So here's something stupid:

Six years ago, I was asleep. I slept through the whole thing. The most significant event in our lives and I was zonked out. Not that I could have done anything if I had been awake. I wouldn't have noticed at all. I lived too far away to hear anything from the Pentagon and wouldn't have noticed anything unusual about all the choppers flying overhead. If I had been awake, I would have been mowing the lawn or something equally mundane.

I don't know anyone who was killed, but I did work with this incredible asshole at the video store. Actual quote:
This is horrible. Just horrible, so fucking terrible. I mean, my family owns an apartment and it got totally trashed. Apparently, my Playstation 2 is fucked along with all my games and most of my DVDs. Now I have to replace all that shit. Fuck those bastards.

This was said without a trace of irony. I asked him if he was being sincere because I couldn't believe someone could be so fucking stupid. He said he felt terrible and that now he had to clean up that whole apartment since his parents were stuck overseas. I told him he was not allowed to speak until his shift was over.

Looking Up?

Sometimes, it is hard to tell. I've got music, a social schedule just full enough, a new job, a new era of education and a new-ish hobby. It feels like everything is going to shit.

I've previously discussed my recent musical purchases, so I'll skip that discussion and move on to the Animal Collective show at the 930 Club on the 28th. I'm going to see them and I hope they will be awesome.

I am leaving my apartment to meet people two nights this week! Better get a refill on my agoraphobia medication. I have been asked to tend the grill at my friend's birthday party on Saturday. I am at my best when surrounded by fire and meat, so this should be an excellent time. The weekend after next, I am volunteering my time at my parents' church yard sale, as I do every year. As true as certain webcomics may be, I don't do this to meet women. I do host Halloween parties to meet women and I've got that to look forward to as well.

I have been laterally promoted within my company which is nice enough, I guess. I view it as being fired from my old job. My new job is still interesting and the company is paying me to take classes at the USDA Graduate School, so that is a step in a better direction. If all goes well, I will even have a pretty bitchin' title by the new year. I'll look even better on paper than I do now, which is nice even if I can't buy myself a roast beef sandwich.

I have been hanging out with some people trying to get a short movie filmed. We are working on a script and are eager to get to filming. This is pretty cool, but we have encountered some trouble. Flaky people annoy the shit out of me. If you aren't going to show up, return the call and say so. We know you're just sitting on your couch smoking dope and watching Gilligan's Island, so be an adult and call us to say that you aren't going to show, chundernozzle. Despite the flakes, I am still learning a bit about writing and working on a script. Just the whole process of collaboration is interesting.

I guess I should be pretty excited about all this. My fall looks far more interesting and active than my summer was, but there is still some lingering malaise. It's a lot more than lingering. I've got a lot going for me, but I am just not excited about any of it.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Philosophy Assignments

Since nobody liked the really long post about philosophy, I guess I'll just stick to trying to be funny. There is a lot of pressure in that area, but I could do with a bit more of that in my life.

In case someone out there cares, I am going to start reading Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle this evening and The Fall by Albert Camus in my other spare hour.

Tomorrow night, I am having coffee with the Ainur, Mandos. I think we will have to discuss the Spawn of Ungoliant that lives in my kitchen. Mandos is probably refraining on judging me until I die, but he may have reservations about my continued harboring of a descendant of that which destroyed the great trees of Valinor.

A Serious Threat

Saw this on Ctrl+Alt+Del. I hope Max Brooks' novel does get made into a movie. It was good.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Filosophy Friday: Fortunately Not Fecal

I was reading XKCD and checking out the t-shirt store because I don't have unique t-shirts for each day of the year yet and I clicked some link to a story about magic as it relates to computer hardware. I remembered a couple of stories wherein I received a gift of insight from the universe. Both of these were totally accidental, as the best insight is, and about as mundane as finding Jesus in a smudge of ink on a paper jam in the office copier.2

During one of the years I took off from my regularly scheduled college visits, I worked in a bowling alley. I was a pinsetter mechanic and spent a lot of time digging random shit out of the jammed machines. Most of the random shit was bowling related like shoes, broken balls, pieces of broken balls, pieces of carpetting, bowling shirts attached to very flat people, etc.

I was walking behind the machines one Monday morning and found something truly extraordinary. A bowling pin had broken and been spit out of the back of lane 5. This was not a rare occurrence but the manner in which the pin had broken was. The core of the pin had been ripped out by the plastic ring on the bottom of the pin. These rings keep the pin from developing a tilt and are flush with the plastic coating of the pin. The wood used in bowling pins is solid maple heartwood, one of the strongest and most resilient woods. Maple is heavy and dense. Something had managed to grip the plastic ring with enough force in just the right way to avoid breaking the ring while also ripping out a cylinder of wood along with the ring. If the wood had been ripped out along a glue seam, that would be evidence of a bad pin. The core had been ripped out in such a way as it split the pieces of wood through the center of the wood. This was not torn along a fault in the wood or a knot or something like that, the tear was just shredding right through something designed to take repeated hits by an 18 pound ball at high speeds. There is nothing in the pinsetter machine that should have been able to break a pin in this manner. It would take a specially designed machine to break a pin this way. In short, I was staring at two pieces of a physical impossibility. If the impossible happens than it must be possible. I fit the two pieces together and then bashed them together until the core went back in and gave it to my philosophy professor the next semester I was back attending classes. We had a little chat and he said that I had learned something very important. If I remembered this and did my homework, I might be able to pass his classes quite successfully.

The next incident happened at the ruins of the Sutro Baths in San Francisco but started in a seminar class on Plato. I had chosen to lead a discussion of the Socratic dialogue Euthyphro and we were discussing the nature of certain immutable terms and concepts in the universe. We were having a really lively debate about the concepts of good, evil, holy, righteousness and all that and somebody made the claim that you couldn't have a concept of good without God and how God, by definition, couldn't exist without good. We were kinda stuck on this point because she wasn't willing to concede this point to move on to the discussion the rest of the class was having about immutable concepts.3 I was trying to come up with some description and explanation that would suit her when I said, "Look, I think we can all agree that God is just an enormous jellyfish with a diamond in the center!"

Everyone in the class looked at me in stunned silence, including the professor. "The diamond represents all these eternal, external concepts and the jellyfish is just the incorporeal body of God that has no real-" and that is where everyone started laughing at me. I was trying to make a point that while God can not exist without these concepts, God likewise can not change those concepts without also changing the nature of God. This explanation did not have the desired effect. Everyone agreed that it was the best discussion we had all semester and that they learned quite a bit4. The professor said that he had never heard anyone explain God in such a fashion before. He also said that he hoped he never did again. While it is interesting imagery, it is also distractingly odd which does not help in educating.

About a year later, one of my Brother of Indeterminate Number and I were wandering around the Sutro Baths. Sutro Baths was a complex of public pools built by a rich guy named Sutro, aptly enough. Some of these pools were fed directly by the ocean which is pretty nifty. There are concrete ruins by the beach and melted bits of stained glass buried in the hillside of the cove where the baths were built. I recommend it for a picnic. My Brother of Indeterminate Number and I had walked down to the water to watch the sun go down and I saw an odd pink-ish grey rock at the surf line. It was smooth and almost perfectly hemispherical, about 18 inches in diameter and somewhat translucent. I looked at it for a while and figured that it was some leftover glass or something from the baths. I ran up to it in between waves. It was even odder looking up close so I poked it. The thing quivered and I yelled and jumped about four feet in the air. I was back beyond the surf line when I realized it was an enormous jellyfish.

Photo found at Shifting Baselines Blog

God likes to hang out on beaches in San Francisco, apparently.

1 I apologize for that title. It has been a long short week.
2 That is yet another dig at Harriet Myers. Finding Jebus in an office? Yawn.
3 She was, however, quite willing to just erase arrows she had earlier written a diagram of Kantian ethics that had previously represented some point. When fulsome asked her about the relevance and meaning of that error after she made some other claim, she just erased it like that was a complete explanation. Don't leave holes in your arguments because he'll drive a truck through them.
4 Mostly about how I think, but that is still something.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Windows Media Reviews My New Music

The music:

Give Up by The Postal Service: 2.4 stars
Andorra by Caribou: 2.49
Version by Mark Ronson: 2.5
Writer's Block by Peter Bjorn and John: 2.86

Windows Media Player 11(WMP11) has assigned all of my music stars. I don't know from where these "stars" originate nor do I know from whence in "time" they might have been from in the past future, but I do know that I won't have cared tomorrow for one day longer than I don't care today.1

Allow to explicate on my previous exposition. WMP11 has rated the entirety of The Milk of Human Kindness by Caribou at roughly 2.49 "stars". It has rated Andorra by Caribou at ~2.66 "stars". I have not assigned these ratings. When I am forced to override the "stars", my ratings are arbitrarily assigned a gold-ish color.2 Given our culture's obsession with this rather silly metal that is only useful in electronics and nearly pointless as a wearable accessory, I am left to guess that WMP11 thinks that I should somehow be pleased to see that my ratings receive gold-ish "stars" of distinction from WMP11 disdain for my decidedly deranged collection. As some people are fond of remembering3, gold stars were the reward for significant achievements of the kindergarten through third grade set. To receive these stars, we acted in a way that our educators found exemplary and felt deserved a reward, trivial in nature though it may have been.

As these "gold" "stars" pertain to WMP11, I find these artifacts to be even less deserving of any merit and I feel cheapened to the core of my being that some drone of a content manager thought that merely clicking a "star" to assign a rating to a song deserved some flagrantly fleeting reward of a "gold" "star". Have we sunk so low?4 I have merely banished the embarrassing ratings given to my musical entertainment in order to provide me with some hope of an interesting shuffle while pounding through pedantic and profusely proliferating circulation reports. I am not entirely certain, and am completely willing to admit that my feeling is based on no small amount of superstition, but I believe that these ratings are related to the frequency at which WMP11 will play a selection when instructed to do so at "random".5

Furthermore to the point just made and given the frequency at which any of the songs on DJ Shadow's Preemptive Strike are chosen at "random", I am inclined to believe that the further my ratings vary from WMP11's, the less likely it is to choose to play those songs at any given point at which it is allowed to choose a song. I feel entirely justified in saying this in response to WMP11: I know where you live and I am freezing the urine as I type.

1 Why yes, I did study Latin.
2 A bit watered down, like a weak yellow.
3 Those years were tough for me. No amount of Concrete Blonde helped The Genius as he struggled through them. A lot of processing power with a little bit of information on a lot of topics leads to strange questions posed to profoundly puzzled parents.
4 YES.
5 In my many long years at the college of my collegiate experience, I spent no small time studying computer science. Unsuccessfully, as it were. Be that as it may, I still know that programs can never do anything truly random. To do that, you need an irrational capability. If only we could program AG into binary or trinary, we could have a whole new era of irrational processors.

Girls With Slingshots Aims at Jennifer's Demographic

Jennifer's demographic being those who draw/paint nudes. As titillating as the subject may be for some of us, I thought Jennifer might appreciate Danielle Corsetto's work, while Miss Corsetto might appreciate the additional pimpage of her webcomic.

Did you know she draws the New Adventures of Batboy?

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

New Music from Slovakia

I like the music. This has nothing at all to do with the scorchingly hot woman in the first clip. Incidentally, I am emigrating to Slovakia as soon as I can fake an accent.

Radio Ruined My Post

I was working out a post in my head on the way across the street to my coffee shop this morning. It was about the detritus on my floor and the somewhat humorous qualities therein. After ordering my coffee, I was standing over by the news rack looking over the latest issue of the Post and the excitingly uninvestigative news when Concrete Blonde's Joey blurted out of the speakers. An actual live radio station chose to play a Concrete Blonde song. This pretty much blew my mind and I forgot the series of jokes I had laid out about how much of a mess my apartment is and how fulsome still beats me in that regard.

I thought AG was the only other person in the world who actually chose to listen to this band.

So anyway, tonight Snag, Clif and I going to solve all this shit going on in the world. There may be signs. There may be drinks. There may even be some form of pork.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Chicago Dogs in My Kitchen

Coleman's Mustard
Pickle Spears
Mt. Olive Emerald Relish
Mt. Olive Hot Pickled Banana Peppers
Diced Onion
Celery Salt
Hebrew National Dinner Franks

Well, almost. The dinner franks are too big and the peppers aren't quite right, but they are the closest I could find at the neighborhood grocery store. Other than that, pretty damn close.