In December of 2004, I met a girl for a date. I had met her by thrusting myself into a conversation she was having with her friends about holiday spice pepsi. Before I continue I need to issue the following homework assignment: Blog Goblins, your assignment is to come up with the next believable, bad idea from an American soda company, like ash wednesday spice pepsi or something.
She thought I was funny, but her friends thought I was clearly touched because she had to shoo them away. I was surprised and we kept chatting while waiting for our coffees. Yes, ok, this happened at a Starbuck's. Coincidence, I tell you, coincidence! So she then gave me her number and I was even more surprised.
Long story short, we meet for coffee the next day. She is cute and interesting and things were progressing amiably until she tells me that she is in grad school writing program and working on a book. I then asked one of the dumbest questions ever. "So you want to be a writer?" We all know why she never called me again.
Chuckles honey, have I taught you nothing? Your response should have been, "How about you come home with me and I can give you some material to write about."
You DC boys. I will blog about the hot DC boy I once met on a plane. He just didn't get it either.
Bubblegum Pepsi is the next item to move onto shelves. It's always about bubblegum.
New Taurine-Enhanced Megachunk Litchee Diet Coke.
I said PEPSI flavor, meathead!
Although that is great, too.
lol...that really wasnt' that bad. Honestly...it was like you were inquiring as to what made her want to be a writer.
No, no it was really that bad. She tensed up and said, 'I am a writer.' That is the moment when I wrested defeat from the jaws of victory.
thank you for writing a chapter in the book on how NOT to get laid. that's kinda like getting a hooker and when she's blowing you, you say "so - you like sex, huh?"
or maybe not.
green tea pepsi
cool ranch pepsi
jalapeno pepper pepsi
pippi pepsi (pepsi that gives you red pigtails like pippi longstocking)
oh god. i'll stop now. i promise.
For the Tony Hawk crowd:
MEGA-XTREME !!! BALLSWEAT PEPSI WITH ENZYTE!!!
I had an experience with a differing kind of Pepsi once.
Let's just say it was three strange days afterwards. It wasn't my fault, it was somebody else's drink and I picked it up.
And ANONYMOUS WINS!!!!
For making me laugh out loud in my office and nearly spill coffee and break my desk at the same time.
Mega Extreme Ballsweat Pepsi with Enzyte, indeed.
As a matter of fact, PopRen, I am a regular contributor and managing editor of Get UnLaid Tonight! The monthly men's magazine for the socially challenged.
Chuckles said the word laid.
It really gets hard to talk around a mouthful of foot.
My own foot. Just in case you sickos were thinking strange fetishistic thoughts. Freaks.
Post a Comment