Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Holiday Gift Giving: What are we giving The Genius?

1. Nothing because he is rude and mean.
The Genius' Response: Fair enough, for you art a moron and art a bad gift giver.

2. Nothing because he never writes thank you letters.
TGR: Fair enough, for I am selfish and very bad at writing those who shower me with praise and/or gifts.

3. Petri dishes to be filled with urine to later be frozen.
TGR: I can never have enough petri dishes.

4. Music.
TGR: Truly is the one thing in the universe garaunteed to make you more attractive to the object of your desire.

5. Money.
TGR: Forget what I said about #4 and apply it here.

6. Hugs.
TGR: Back the hell off. I ain't no whiny emo.

7. Crossbows.
TGR: Are you sure you know the receiver of this gift? I will only use it for evil. You were warned.

8. Contact information.
TGR: Acceptable.

9. Booze.
TGR: Meh, I could take it or leave it.

10. Books.
TGR: You stray into dangerous territory here, for I am picky and will cut you off if you screw this up. Julinopsis has unrestricted rights to give The Genius books due solely to her awesome taste and excellent track record with book oriented gifting.


Brando said...

I think you've covered yourself legally with the crossbow since you disclosed your evil intentions.

teh l4m3 said...

How about a wang-hammock? You know, for your wang?

Chuckles said...

Good thing, too, Brando. I am officially retaining you as my legal counsel. Brush up on habeas, search and seizure, Miranda and pretty much anything that could be used against superhero vigilantism. Let's get evil.

teh l4m3, it better be one of those big hammocks that can fit at least four people. The last one was a mere two person design and it collapsed under the weight of my wang. I didn't even have a chance to recline.