Ain't gonna happen. I told my boss that I would work at the video store on Christmas back in November in exchange for Thanksgiving and I always* stick to my word. I will enjoy working on Christmas Eve and Day because I will. That is just how I am. When you are basically broke all the time and you have essentially no legal marketable skills, the only thing you have is your integrity. So I sell it.
See that? That is a joke.
This is not a joke: should I ever be lucky enough to feel comfortable having children and should I ever meet someone who wants to have my incredibly smart and dangerous children, I feel entirely confident in saying the next sentence. My children will know the names of the Elder Gods long before they know shit like colors and shapes. After all, colors and shapes are meaningless in attempts to describe beings from beyond the dawn of time and physics.
*This asterisk is ominous.
You only know half of their names and you're not even allowed to share them with the unanointed. Don't risk his wrath.
I am the Uncle, corruptor of the innocent, he who comes with fireworks and matches, one who walks in knowledge forbidden.
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