Sunday, December 17, 2006

The Genius: Still Slick with the Wit, Still Alone with the Night

Let me set the scene:
Christmas party in a typical twentysomething's apartment, not The Genius' place. Low music and conversation, some drinks, some food and genitals arising in said conversation.
DC, a defense contractor-married but alone for the night.
FL, a female liberal-friend of The Genius
HL, a hot female liberal-new to The Genius and initially in massive confrontation with The Genius because she thought she was the smartest person in the room.
TG, The Genius-the smartest person in the room.

HL: I don't know how you men live with your externally hanging genitals. How is that comfortable?
FL: HAHA! Seriously.
DC: It isn't that hard, we have been doing it our whole lives.
HL: But they are always hanging, how can that be comfortable?
DC: How do you deal with your breasts?
HL: I hate them. I would get them removed if I could.
TG: I would love to help you learn to appreciate your breasts.
FL: *Laughs long and loud*
DC: *Puts face in hands and smiles*
HL: *Looks at The Genius with a mixture of shock, anger and a hint of arousal*
A moment of silence
DC: You basically just said you want to put your penis in her vagina.
HL: Yeah!

That fucker can suck my ass. Just because he is married and stuck changing diapers is no reason to try and shoot a fucking brilliant comeback. Anyway, I bet the host $10 that HL woudl be asking about me in the next week. The truly sad thing is that she might as well live in Sacramento and that FL thinks we would be fucking amazing together. So do I. Plus, if you couldn't figure it out from the dialogue above, she is fantastically attractive and pretty damn smart. I may have to crash a book club soon.

Update: She wants me to call. What can I say brains and a massive wang get me everything I want in life.

Update as of 2:57 PM 12/20/06:I have changed my mind. That word may mean what AG thinks it means. This post may make me look like more of a jerk than I am. It is a snapshot of a long conversation and at this point in the conversation, I was still a little bit in the jerk mode.

In the interest of not looking like a different kind of jerk than I am, HL is quite clearly smart and educated. The only thing missing in her life is a huge wang. That is all I am saying.


Lindsey said...

That's awesome! You'll have to let us know how the hook up goes. I'll just live vicariously through you since I'm not having any luck.

Anonymous said...

Good grief. Who the hell blogs about possible lays in 2006?!

Chuckles said...

Why wouldn't you blog about it? It is just as good a topic as your constant boyfriend bashing, if not better.

Pretentious Bastard said...

When did you get Suave?

Anonymous said...

Oh Chuckie. Learn to take a joke. It's the holidays.

Anonymous said...

whoooo chuckles. you're the man!

Chuckles said...

I got Suave at CVS, it was on sale and I thought I would switch from my regular shampoo, Aggro Jerk.

Sometimes, I amaze even myself.

Anonymous said...

You have no p value on the update. How would she know you have a massive wang? You cannot make that claim.

Also, your comment was highly sexist and sad. Do you want to tell your grandchildren someday that's how you met grandma?

Sick yo!

Anonymous said...

And before you get all yelling at AG, it was said out of love.

Chuckles said...

Also, your comment was highly sexist and sad. Do you want to tell your grandchildren someday that's how you met grandma?

No, it wasn't and yes, I would.

NotSamantha said...

Okay, checking the backlog for proof of wang size...

Anonymous said...

Chuckles, this is like an anti-sausage festival over here. Try not to overdo the poor me thing. Genius' gotta have principles.

Anonymous said...

Oh look, the self acclaimed boss of everyone is here telling the Genius what to do.

Chuckles, you make AG sad. Very sad. I'd like to believe you aren't like this in person. Sadly, AG would be wrong.

Chuckles said...

I don't that word (sexist) means what you think it does.

Alex said...

I think calling Chuck a pig and cocky would be perfectly in line, but sexist...bzzt.

Chuckles said...


Anonymous said...

How would she know you have a massive wang? You cannot make that claim.

Indeed, how would we know that? I demand that you post pictures.

Word verification: "ggejovfe" is hard to type when you're drunk.