Monday, July 31, 2006

Absurdly Macho Names

From 20th Century Fox's press site:

"Oscar®-winner Russell Crowe reunites with “Gladiator” director Ridley Scott in A GOOD YEAR. London-based Investment expert Max Skinner (Crowe) moves to Provence to sell a small vineyard he has inherited from his late uncle. As Max reluctantly settles into what ultimately becomes an intoxicating new chapter in his life, he encounters a beautiful California woman who also lays claim to the property."

Russel Crowe. Max Skinner. Jebus, why don't they just call every character of his Mike 'Gonna hit you with a' Hammer or Jake Stone, Private Detective. This movie is obviously Under the Tuscan Sun for Sensitive New Age Guys (aka G4YZ!!!).

An early review: In this incredible pile of shit stained celluloid, Russel Crowe plays Max Skinner. Max Skinner, an investment expert by day and a face smashing secret agent by night, learns to love again when he inherits a vinyard in Provence and meets a woman who always lays claim to the property. Luckily, our absurdly macho hero discovers the true nature of both the property and the mysterious woman before it is too late. Under the dirt of the vinyard lies the body of Hitler and the Baroness Carlotta Von Dimholz is an agent of the hidden Fourth Riech on a mission to revive the Fuhrer and reignite the flames of war in Europe! Thank god for Max Skinner, investment expert by day and super secret agent and lover extraordinaire! He quickly deduces the clever plan and humps the Nazi right out of Baroness Carlotta and then beats some Nazi bastards in a 45 minute fight scene with his arsenal of hidden weapons!

Actually, I would go see that movie. The real movie will probably get an Oscar® nomination.


teh l4m3 said...

I like chuckles's version, mainly because I just know there's going to be a fight scene that involves Agent Skinner tossing a phone at someone.

likwizmr: The most common imperative spoken at your local golden showers club.

Chuckles said...


Everything is better with a Baroness and some Nazis getting beat up.

Except Air Guitar which only needs your imagination and non-violence.