Before You Ask

Yes, the landlords are renovating the bathroom in our cottage.  No, it is not because of anything I ate.  And this is a picture of Mars, not my toilet.

Second Brain is Zombified

My Blackberry has died, and shuffles on in the half-life of the undead. It receives calls and messages, but the buttons refuse to work.

Update 1: New phone received on Wednesday at 415 pm.
Update 2: New phone zombified sometime between 730 pm and 1130 pm.
Update 3: Second new phone received 345 pm on Thursday.
Update 4: Second new phone continues to work at 745 pm Thursday. Further updates to follow as events develop.
Update 5: Balloon boy found safe and sound, hiding in an attic.
Update 6: Second phone continues to function as of 353 pm Friday.

Leave a Message, Fool!

Is it really so hard to leave a simple message after calling someone and missing them? I've been getting a lot of calls lately from numbers I don't recognize, and even from some "Private" numbers, but no one leaves a message. If you don't leave a message, how the hell am I supposed to know to call back or whatever? Maybe Verizon is just messing with me.

It Happened Again

I had a great post idea last night while talking on the phone with my brother, and now I can't remember it. I think it was one of those observational humor/advice from an idiot ones that are pretty good/stupid. Let's all just assume it was hilarious and you all loved it and linked to me and sent me tons of fan mail.

Well This Blows

There was a scheduled blogger outage this evening, so I decided to catch up with other blogs while I waited. I thought I had a decent post in mind and was worried that it would get eaten, as others have after scheduled outages. So I went cruising around and totally forgot my post. And now I've lost my writing impulse as well. Oh well, there's always tomorrow or later tonight, even if I can't post from home yet.

Binge Blogging?

Or binge drinking? Having done the latter rather a lot last week, maybe we can expect the former this week. Motivation often comes in the form of pretty women.

Still Tired

I've got an amazing Celebrity Dream Cameo in the works, but I keep oversleeping and getting to the library too late to finish more than a few decent lines. It's hilarious, political, tarantular, and drug-induced. Pretty much the perfect snooze.

In other promised and probably undelivered posts, "Totally Tarantula Tuesday: The Cricket Farmer's Spider" is coming soon.

Also, I have a Genius Niece now. So that's cool.

Western Thought Wednesday: Berkeley and That Other Guy

That Other Guy said, "I refute Berkeley thus." He then kicked a rock. Berkeley has yet to be impressed by this comment. I wonder what he would think of today's XKCD.

Fallout Blackout

I may have overindulged.

I have been a little busy lately. I have an interview next week. I have been helping a friend move. I have been ranting about the bus line in my neighborhood again. I have somehow been exhausting myself so that every time I wake up, I feel like going back to sleep.

Anyway, I am trying to write something about the latest flare of violence in Goma, DROC, but most of what I have written so far turns into a hopeless diatribe. Also, I owe some music posts to the internets for WRN. Which has always sounded like a goofy radio network. We should work on some podcasts, due to come out with the return of Monday Goldberg Theater.

My Internet is Out Again

I have an appointment with another Comcast techician tomorrow, but in the meantime I offer two pearls of wit and wisdom: don't get Comcast, and really don't get Comcast.

Father Genius said that it is nice to see American exports rising, even if it is only financial woes. In case you were wondering where I get it.

College Revival Comics

I am not a guy to get stressed out about much of anything, and this is also a contributing factor to much of my current situation. However, much of one of my previous situations, when I was in college, could be explained by this picture for sad children. This joke is so much more inside than anything 3Bulls can come up with, I doubt even fulsome gets the joke to which I am referring.

For those of you that don't know, it wasn't that funny a joke anyway. The comic is way funnier than the joke, it just has an added reference layer for me and maybe two or three people out there.

Do you gmail-using-people ever have that moment where you are typing in a name in the "To" box and a name comes up and you have no fucking clue who that name's person is? I have somewhere around three thousand names in my contact list apparently and I think I know maybe ten of them. Every time I write an email without slapping the reply button, I find names in my so-called contact list that belong to no one I can remember. Apparently, I chatted with them maybe? I bet they were on that ultimate frisbee team I tried last summer (what a disaster, no one plays for fun, it's all about the win and fuck that shit). Or maybe they are friends of other people that have mass emailed me and know they have spread to my contact list like some sort of gmail STD? That is a lot ruder than I mean to be to these probably nice people (or email addresses), but the metaphor is apt, like if I send you an email, you are know in correspondence with everyone I've ever emailed. Hope you have virus protection, because my gmail account gets around, lemme tell you.

This Totally Tarantula Tuesday Brought To You By My Unconcious Mind

This post probably brings an altogether and impressive layer to phoning it in, but since I am not mo-blogging this, we'll just call it all even. Some of the most brilliant posts on 3Bulls aren't even written, they are dreamed. They aren't even written by the whoever-knows-how-many-contributors to 3Bulls. This is of course totally appropriate for their oeuvre and possibly even their under. I hereby present to you five posts straight from the horse's apple AKA my dream state:
Hugo Weaving, Bruce Lee and Hope Chest
Jeff Kober and James Gandolfini
Indira Gandhi and Paul Rudd
Stephen Colbert and Helob
The Best Cast of Law and Order and my friend E

Phone Inspirations

Has the term "jumped the shark" jumped the shark?

It Works, So I'm Stealing It

How about Ask A Genius? I'm also kind of a bastard, ask most women in DC. Besides, I could use some inspiration.

AVALANCHE!!

This week has nothing to do with watching Pathfinder on Monday night. Or was it Tuesday or Sunday? In any event, some stuff is done (class) and other stuff just keeps accelerating (work). Ladifuckingda, like it is something new or unique that I am ridiculously busy. Why don't I cry about it?

For the Best Probation Officer in Chicago

I'm a dumbass. With my extensive knowledge of our country's penal system, I should have known the difference between a parole officer and a probation officer. Law & Order fails me yet again! Curses!

The Debates Rage On

12. Truth

Wikipedia's entry for "truth" should be applauded for its cleanliness and concision; it touches on schools of thought like constructivist theory and philosophers like Kant, then directs users to those respective pages. But the battle behind the scenes is much uglier, running through 12 archived pages with subject headings that range from "truth in jurisprudence" and "the semantic theory" to "Oi! You SIMPLIFY!!!!!" and "Please Kill Me Now!" The behind-the-scenes discussion captures Wikipedia's tendency to collapse into autobiography. "When you trace out all availible information from science and experiences," Jiohdi says, beginning a long take on a personal approach to truth, "they all trace back to one core understanding, namely, that everything perceived is generated by the perceiver and is thus not a completely reliable guide to reality nor truths about reality." "These," Rick Norwood responds, "are beliefs discovered by most people in their sophomore year."

Too bad The Great Orange One's page didn't make it to the list. That cobag can't even get decent ratings with the Onion.

I Got Kucinich and Obama

Who will you get? I know someone who got Huckabee. That's what being Catholic does fo ya.