Bush Prevented From Assassinating Self and Cheney with Hydrogen Car Bomb by Kung-Fu-Flying-Leg-Kick-Two-Fisted-Gun-Blazing-Ford-President

This story has been zipping all over the internets since Saturday but forgive me for I just read about it today. Apparently, Bush is unconsciously suicidal about the immense fucking mess he has made of pretty much everything. In a move that is regarded by at least one blogger (me) as the sole attempt at an informed decision and a stroke of momentary intelligence, Bush decided to try plugging in the wrong end of the hydrogen powered car being showed off by Ford. The explosion would likely have incinerated Bush and severely damaged Vice-President Cheney's mecha-exosuit.

The only other explanation that one can derive from this incident is that Bush an arrogant son of a bitch who couldn't be bothered to listen to the instructions and warnings of the man trying to show off the new car. We all know that Bush listens to experts so that couldn't possibly be the case. Therefore, he must be a suicidal nutjob and secretly desires to take full responsibility for his and Robo-Cheney's actions by immolating both of them.

Would the nation finally understand the true legacy of Bush and Cheney if this had happened? Would they finally be acknowledged as the bumbling morons they are? Or would the nation commit fully and completely to petroleum forever? Would Pelosi have said anything nice at the funeral? Would Ford be branded a bunch of terrorists? Would Al Gore have made any jokes about Bush's carbon footprint, other than saying it was all over the White House lawn? Would I have shed a single tear?

Music Recommendations Shall Be Consumed Saturday Morning

Thanks to everyone who contributed suggestions to this post about my apparent windfall. It may actually happen this week. Or next week. Who knows?

Anyway, while following up on people's suggestions, I went over to Miss Syl's site, Sexeteria. If you are at work right now and I now some of you are, don't go there. Wait until you get home. Anyway, she had a link to a pretty cool song on her site, Because I'm Awesome by The Dollyrots. The song is kinda kickass and it mentions that the singer is awesome and this is because she is smarter than everyone "her brain is really super-sized". That's hot. I think we should get together for a battle of wits.

The planned purchases:
DVDs:
Firefly
BSG Season 2.0 and 2.5
possibly Rome: Season 1 (cuz I'm Titus Pullo, WENCH!)

Music:
Animal Collective - Feels
Golgol Bordello - unknown but whatever I find
Sigur Ros - Ágætis Byrjun
Man Man - Six Demon Bag (That is still a great movie. If you don't know of that which I speak, turn your balls in at the door on your way out.)
Architecture in Helsinki - If they have an album I don't yet own
M. Ward - If something catches my eye
The God Damn Doo Wop Band - if I can find Broken Hearts (Who will also be in Baltimore in July and I am going to that show. I'll skin a cat 34 ways to get there.)
MSTRKRFT - The Looks
Wolfmother - the one with the Frazetta cover art

This is why I only buy Jiff

I am not really a name brand guy, but Jiff just tastes better. It also has the added benefit of No Added Salmonella. Anyway, I like Chuck Talyors because they make my feet happy even if they don't last more than a year, a requirement of any pair of shoes for which I pay more than 35 dollars. I like Levi's because they don't suck and die within 6 months. I have a pair of Levi's that I have been wearing since December of 2005. Not continuously or anything, I mean, I am not in Motley Crue. I have another pair that developed its first rip just last month after 18 months of wear. Fucking Wranglers just can't keep up with my active lifestyle. That is pretty much it for brands. And toothpaste? I have no brand loyalty at all. I buy whatever kind of multi-compound super-ultra, mega-cleaning, cavity-ass-whupping, anti-trichinosis toothpaste that is on sale. If it can also be used as grout or an oven cleaner, then that's just an added benefit.

This week may have been the longest time I went without mentiong my wang. My enormous wang. This may be a sign that I should retire the joke that has never really been funny except when other people joke about it. Like Brando.

Heee heee

Medicine ball. Hee hee.