Washington Times Video of DC's Regional Air Guitar Competition

I'm in it, briefly.

Rockstache at the 930 Club

Both photos are from OnTap Online Gallery.  Since the photos are of me, I'm going to assume that it perfectly legal to use them.  If not, I've dealt with lawyers before.

Regarding my performance, my friends think I need to be more dynamic with my actions.  There is definite room for improvement in my fingering, and strumming.  Some kicks, and maybe a good leap into the air, out over the crowd, hopefully landing somewhere that doesn't involve on a person.  Stage dives can be really lame if you aren't rocking out, but can really seal a legendary performance.

Regarding the costume, I think the shirt was too big.  I bought it back when I was really fat, say early season Biggest Loser contestant who isn't going to win because he didn't start out at somewhere north of 400 pounds, as opposed to late season Biggest Loser who isn't going to win because he didn't start out at somewhere north of 400 pounds.  My arms look ok, though, all the tilling and pushups seem to be having some effect.  The mustache could be bigger.  Air Guitar is one area of the universe where facial will always be accepted and even respected.

So for next year, I'm aiming for two things: a six pack (instead of the mini keg) and a possibly fake giant mustache across my shoulder blades for maximum impact when I do some sort of spin-kick/guitar flip.  Probably skinny jeans as well.

The oddest part of the evening was being asked, "hey, you're the guy who really knows how to play guitar right?  I heard you're actually good at it."  My response was, "Uh. No. I've held a guitar, and made noise come out of it, but there is no way you would ever call me good at it."

Time for Another Fifteen?

I hope to surprise my father with another brief bit of in/fame on June 23.  The Genius is taking the stage at the 930 Club.  Without an instrument.  Ahem, without a visible instrument.  I am competing in the DC Regional of the US Air Guitar Competition under the nom de air of Rockstache.  If you can make it, you better cheer for me.

Two of Genius Cousins have played the 930 Club, but they were in punk bands.  Actual bands, with instruments and other people and stuff.  I have this odd feeling they will not appreciate my performance.

US Air Guitar Finals Tickets On Sale

Don't be a cobnugget and miss out. The US Air Guitar Championships are in San Francisco at the Grand Ballroom. Get over your stupid "I'm too cool for air guitar even though I totally do it" attitude and buy tickets, chundernozzle. Take pictures, maybe even movies. Make me horribly jealous.

If you don't, I'll just resort to arching you, on the internet and possibly in real life. I may not have moppets, but I do have henchpersons. Even if I'm no longer allowed to call them henchmen due to the conditions of my parole and certain court rulings.

Somebody is Missing the Point

These are not Air Guitars. Read this book and understand.

Chicago, Tonight is Your Night to ROCK!!!

Super secret sexy spy friends send us this message: Air Guitar in Sight!

I urge everyone to go and cheer for the champ and even for the not so champy contestants. Great fun and they probably sell beer, possibly even Leinenkugel's Berry Weiss.

C Diddy the US' first champion (Sorry Bjorn):


Background information for those who need to be spoon fed:


Airobicize?

Videos from the 2007 DC Air Guitar Championships

A clip show that does not feature The Masturbating Booger but does feature the wardrobe malfunction pants:


The Runner Up:


The Winner of the DC Championships with his compulsory song performance:

That Most Wonderful Time of the Year

AIR GUITAR SEASON!!!!!!

Last night, I had tickets to the DC Air Guitar Championships. I was, and remain, annoyingly sick and only planned on picking up my tickets from the window and giving them to my friends, but I failed. I stayed for the whole thing and I am a better shredder for it even if I still feel sick.

The show was awesome. There were 24 contestants, ranging in age from 17 to 71. Some were brilliant and some less than excellent. My favorite moment was when this one dude comes out glammed out to the yin-yang and beyond and calls himself Blitzkrieg and the older gentleman standing next to me says, "That's my son!" Blitzkrieg was the fourth or fifth contestant and really knocked shit into the red line. I thought he was better than one of the people who made it into the second round, but the judges didn't.

The top five competitors were Goat-Man Grogan, RT "The Soul Man", 'Ed Banger, Lance "The Shred" Kasten, and Couch Potato. Goat-Man Grogan whipped out crazy atheleticism and worked the axe like a man possesed. The Soul Man had a more subdued style but managed to convincingly rock both the left and the right handed guitars. 'Ed Banger played to the crowd with the power stance, heck he practically played in the crowd! The Shred was furious and played with amazing energy to take the DC title. Couch Potato rocked the alt-country vibe with precision and style. Worthy rockers all.

Special praise must go to the 6'10" 300 pound "Metal Coursing Through His Veins" Vlad D.M. Wailer who thrashed out to the Transformers Movie theme. This beast dwarfed Bjorn Turoque and still managed some impressive hops and really got the crowd going nuts. Sadly, he did not make the top five, but he wins special place just for song choice.

I hope to find some clips on YouTube or the Goog soon, but as yet have struck out.

I can not stress enough how much fun this show is. If there is a regional championship happening in your area, definitely go. Get down off your lonely hipster ledge and laugh at yourself as you cheer for someone that is on stage without any instruments. The Air Guitar Championship schedule is here.

Air Guitar Nation Playing For One Last Weekend in NYC

New York City people reading this should run out and see Air Guitar Nation at the Village East theater. This is the last weekend it will play there. People of Austin, TX will be able to see this awesome and rockingly funny movie starting Friday, April 13th, which is tomorrow for those keeping track.

Go buy some tickets.

Dan Crane/Bjorn Turoque/Jean Luc Retard (Whoops! Haha) will be on a game show called Identity on NBC Friday the 13th as well. I will make an attempt to watch this because I am not going anywhere this weekend as I spent all my money last weekend. I am now the happy, but poor, owner of every DVD of Battlestar Galactica, whether we are talking about the original or the new series.



Sir Charles Rockley