Free Heroin for Psychos

"A London-based shrink named Dr Richard Graham wants to create an all-psychiatrist guild for World of Warcraft to treat 'addiction' to the game, in the game. And he wants them all to get free accounts. He has called on Blizzard Entertainment, the company that makes World of Warcraft, to waive or discount the costs associated with joining the game so that therapists can more easily communicate with at-risk players in their preferred environment.

'We will be launching this project by the end of the year. I think it's already clear that psychiatrists will have to stay within the parameters of the game. They certainly wouldn't be wandering around the game in white coats and would have to use the same characters available to other players,' said Dr Graham.

'Of course one problem we're going to have to overcome is that while a psychiatrist may excel in what they do in the real world, they're probably not going to be very good at playing World of Warcraft. We may have to work at that if we are going to get through to those who play this game for hours at end.'"

In related news, addiction counselors everywhere are supporting this effort. They are also demanding tons of drugs, so that they can more effectively counsel addicts, as addicts.

Thanks to Ginger Snaps for the article. Ernest Nesingwary Emulation to start tomorrow.

Coincidence...or Fate?

Having just seen (500) Days of Summer, I found it amusing that, in the space of a city block, I pass a man smoking pot in the shadows of the bushes by his stoop, and then an office building wherein the security guard was watching Weeds with his laptop.

I don't believe in fate because it interferes too much with free will. I do believe in Infinity and Serendipity. The first being the sum total of all occurrences, and the second being the chance that any one of those occurrences happening to you. You can affect both through your own actions. A job, or love/heartache, isn't likely to find you if you sit in your apartment all day. None of this is particularly original, nor does it explain why I was the only one laughing at more than six scenes of this movie. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, and I was surprised by how much I had felt in my own life on both sides of the relationship. Damn good job.

I would recommend this movie to any man, but not necessarily to any couple. I am not sure how well this would resonate with a woman seeking solace. Anyone married to their college girlfriend would not appreciate this the way I did. Also, such people cheated at life. Yeah, I said it.

Birthday Blues

Since running from the Sandmen last Thursday, I have had little reason to smile. Today's Questionable Content made me smirk while I cruised the Infonet, hoping to find some clue to Sanctuary. Perhaps the residents semi-mystical Land of D'Airy will have some wisdom to empart, beyond the hint "upward, always upward," before I push onward and upward to Sanctuary.

The Sandmen are heartless and Carousel is a sham! I will persevere.

Another Birthday Has Ended

What is it with me and rain? Raining during my attempt to watch the dawn at the beach, and raining during my planned birthday at Fort Reno last night. So we played ping pong instead, which was fun.

I refrained from getting maudlin, or composing any horrific poetry. Nor did I repeat the spledorous ludicrosity of previous years. Also, Screen on the Green is back for a small run, so that's cool.

Suspensions

So I just tried to copy and paste my Netflix queue into a Word document. Either the version of Word (2003, allegedly) is in desperate need of updating, or it hates tables. I am betting both are the problem, as I have dealt with tables before in Word and they suck, and since these library machines never get updated. How hard is it to enable these things to update once a week, or even once a month? These computers are less stable than Fallout 3.

Boardwalk Food at Rehoboth Beach, DE: a mini snorkel

Starter: Top Dog's Chicago Top Dog.
I thought I would start with a classic, since I love Chicago-style hot dogs. Top Dog tried really hard to capture the essence, but ultimately failed. They had the right relish and celery salt, but there was lettuce and diced tomato on the dog. To say nothing of the total lack of hot peppers or a pickle spear would be a disservice to Chicago dog's everywhere, because a hot dog isn't Chicago-style without these two items. Overall grade: a generous C-

Salad Course: Thrasher's Boardwalk Fries
If you skip Thrasher&'s, you are skipping the beach in the words &"beach trip." Thick cut, peanut oil fried, slightly seasoned, some small sections of intact potato skin, with a consumer added dash of salt. Thrasher's does a brisk enough business that each serving is practically fried to order, and the best fries I've had since the last time I went to the beach. The flock of seagulls harassing me for some fries and the booming of the t-shirt store's shitty techno remixes of current shitty radio songs kills the mood a tad. Overall grade: A-

Main Course: Buffet of Eye Candy
AG would murder me if I went into any detail. Overall grade: B+

Dessert Course: Dolle's Fudge
I purchased three pounds of fudge in chocolate, peanut butter and chocolate, vanilla, and chocolate nut. I can't really describe the fudge other than to say that I meant to bring some back to a friend in the city, but none survived the trip to the car. In other words, I boughted you some fudge, but I eated it. Overall Grade: A

Unrelated addendum: Of course, I took a ton of pictures of the food. However, I used Pinko Punko's camera and that contraption seems incapable of downloading photos. PP probably has some excuse for this, but whatever it is, it's a bad lie to cover for his laziness.

Rain on My Parade, God? Urine for a Beating

I finally dragged my ass out of bed to watch the dawn break over the Atlantic Ocean this morning at half past holy fuck it's early. I dressed and was about to stumble downstairs for my shoes and then proceed to the beach when I realized it was raining. Raining hard. Things slowly turned over in my head and then I ran around closing a few windows and collecting the cushions off the furniture on the porch. The one thing my hosts had asked that I do before leaving was to move all the cushions on the porch to the house to prevent them from getting wet. All I can say is that if I hadn't woken up early to see the non-dawn, I wouldn't have heard the rain.

As for the suspects that ruined my dawn-watching, the urine is being frozen as I type. St. Peter is going to find a strange odor when he reports for work one of these days.

Impromptu Beaching

I drove to the beach yesterday. I sat on the beach today. I forgot to apply lotion and am feeling a little overdone. I am also tired from sleeping 12 hours last night and into this morning. I haven't slept so long in at least 8 months. I feel fantastic, except for the radiation-burned parts of me. Despite being broke, underemployed, broken, and almost beaten, I live a charmed life at times. Thanks to my brother for the use of his car while he is off visiting the Motherland.

My expeditious return to darkest Wisconsin begins sometime next week. And yes, I did need a brief vacation before my vacation. I almost regret leaving my manservant, butler, staff, and entourage behind on this minor excursion as I have no one to apply lotion to my back.

Almost Nine Months Clean

August 6 will nine months clean for me. Clean of the scourge of relationships the world over. Clean of the perfect addiction for people like me. Clean of the reason I could never lose weeight before. Clean of an activity that consumed straights weeks of real time and years of subjective time. Clean of the World of Warcraft.

I'm getting the shakes, man. I just need a little something to occupy my time. Ideally, this something should be female, at least 5'6," own a bike, like music and concerts, and like Air Guitar.

Anybody Got Any Drones They Want to Declare?

DERA ISMAIL KHAN, Pakistan – Suspected U.S. drones launched two missile attacks on Taliban targets in the South Waziristan tribal region on Wednesday, killing at least 45 militants in the latest in a barrage of strikes close to the Afghan border, intelligence officials said.

"Suspected U.S. drones..." This construction doesn't make much sense to me. Are there other drones flying around Pakistani airspace? Are the skies above Waziristan full of robot airplanes of questionable nationality^*? If we are meant to suspect the origin of the missile strikes, then a different wording would be more appropriate and less confusing. Perhaps:

"Two missile attacks on Taliban targets in the South Waziristan tribal region killed at least 45 militants, according to intelligence officials. The missiles may have been fired by U.S. drones being operated in cooperation with Pakistani military efforts to weaken the..." etc, etc, etc.

As it is now, I am left to wonder when the suspected drones will be brought in for questioning, and possibly charged with some crime.

* I bet it was those sheisty Libyans. Those sketchy cobags are constantly sending invisible drones around to check up on me. THERE'S ONE NOW! No, wait, it's gone.

Rice and Beans, Genius Style

If you use these ingredients:
Long grain brown rice, one cup or so
Pinto beans, more than one but less than a whole bag
Black beans, maybe twice as many as pinto
Kidney beans, one third as many as the black but no more than half as many of the Pinto
Spices, at least three times as many as of different types of beans but only 1/100 of the mass of the total bean mass
Diced green chilis and tomatoes, one can

Given that the beans have been soaking overnight in filtered tap water, and that the rice is from place or places unknown, and that the chilis and tomato mixture is in a 14.5 oz can, and that Al Gore won a Noble Prize (shared), calculate the carbon footprint of the above meal. Be sure to include methane emissions in your summation.

Tucker Carlson: JUST TRY AND GET ME FIRED FOR THIS, COBAG

Tucker Carlson has once again proved how much of a total hosebeast scumbag he is. At least he's consistent. He has always claimed to be an ardent libertarian but has consistently spoken and behaved like a classic neo-con.

To paraphrase: "Because I don't agree with the way some people in the district vote, they should no longer be able to exercise that right."

It isn't like Barry is being elected to a mayoral position every other term, it is a council position. Given the governmental set-up here, Congress can override anything the Council does anyway.

To paraphrase, again: "I love my little corner of DC and all the restaurants that I go to because they make me feel special. Especially the ones that let me beat up gay men in the bathroom."

If I find him beating on anyone in the bathroom at my new office, I will immediately proceed to mop the urine soaked tiles with his face. Maybe his bowtie, too.

Holiday Crowds

Here's to hoping they flock to my bar and tip well. Or even just a solid 15%. I wonder if there's a pool I can go to this weekend, it would be nice to get some sun and water in between shifts. I can get sun in my glade by the canal, but I can't go swimming there because of the murderous rapids.

Addendum: I was going to Ray's Hell Burger long before President Obama went there. It's a great place to grab an economical and fucking tasty meal before going to the First Mondays Show at Iota. Just so we're clear. Ask dontEATnachos, he'll tell you that I didn't even know about this until today. I suggested Ray's as a place for a good burger, and possibly as an capstone to a burger trifecta (Rockland's, Five Guys, and then Ray's) and he directed my attention to that article.