Tuesday, January 17, 2006

More on the Subject

Nail Gun Massacre.

I really can't emphasis how horrible this movie is. It isn't as bad as Bloodrayne, although only because it is clear that the director cared enough to do more than one take. The only way you know he tried more than one take is due to the so-called Deleted Scenes and Outtakes which are really just effed up takes.

The plot is simplistic and has a Friday the 13th part 2 ending. The dialogue is worse and most of the actors look like they were hillbillies that were roped, probably literally, into performing because they were the first people the director saw on the street/dirt road after setting up his shots.

In a town, and I use the term extremely loosely, of maybe fifty to a hundred people, perhaps 30 people are killed by a nail gun. The sheriff has trouble figuring out how the killer got people to stand still enough for him/her to hammer in the nails. Even though the only obvious sources of employment in the town are the sheriff's office, coroner's office and the multitude of construction sites, the sheriff has never heard of a nail gun. No one stops to inform him of this miracle of modern tool design, but whatever, after all they aren't paid enough to remember their lines.

The director, Terry Lofton, is proud of his creation, which is cool. He apparently got his start as a stuntman for the Dukes of Hazzard, which is even cooler. He makes comments in the commentary over the Deleted Scenes and Outtakes that are essentially him asking for money to make the sequel, which is by far the coolest part of the movie. Terry Lofton has giant, brass balls.

Next to see: California Axe Massacre

No comments: