Rules of Engagement

I have rules and guidelines for a lot of stuff in life. These guidelines have been generated over the years by my experiences doing stupid shit. I have three rules for drinking:

Never drink with the military.

Never drink with an eastern European.

Never drink jager.

I can break any one rule as long as I am willing to accept a night that won't be over until sometime after dawn and perhaps a bad hangover. If I break two of these rules, I must expect a night that ends in some form of incarceration. If I break three of these rules, I won't come out of it for days and have been known to redecorate an entire hotel room in a Jackson Pollock fashion with a different medium than paint.

Last night, I broke only one of these rules and ended the night by sleeping on my floor while my guests took my bed. It was almost dawn when we got home. I also left my license and credit card at the club...fuck.