Monday, August 28, 2006

NEWSFLASH! Women are different!

I conferred with three sources this weekend and I have learned some things that others should also know.

1: Women are not men. This may seem obvious upon first sight from the beautiful bolus of breastisses and the overall body shape, but it is sometimes not immediately noticed that women are different in other ways as well. They are different in their minds!

2: Women like hugs. This is strange and odd. It is believed that this is related to the above note on women being different in their minds, but more research is needed. Fund me, NIH!

3: Women do not like certain types of jokes. This may be a singular and non-universal trait specifically related to the researcher. More research is needed.


Kevin Wolf said...

No research needed on #3. Ever try to watch the Three Stooges with a woman?

Anonymous said...

#4. This kind of post is why Chuckwagon is unlucky in the love department.

Don't encourage his midly sexist behaviors, Kevin.

teh l4m3 said...

Some women do not like their mouths filled with lots of wang -- such bizarre and mysterious creatures!!!

Chuckles said...

That is exactly the opposite of all research as of 8/27/06, teh l4m3.

kevin: Have you ever tried watching Stripes with a woman? You must have a Y chromosome in order to understand the absurd hilarity of that movie. Women just don't get it and I feel bad for them.

AG: This kind of post explains why you are unlucky in the humor department.

dontEATnachos said...

Chuckles, don't listen to AG, your sexist behaviors aren't mild.

Also, I agree that women are different. I had previously thought they were all clones that were programmed to not really be that into me at birth.

It turns out that is actually a learned behavior.

My bad.

teh l4m3 said...

You dog!


Anonymous said...

It's such a shame the cave women let you tools out of your cages. It's been trouble ever since.

And agreed dEn, AG was being too nice today.

Chuckles said...

It is true, my sexist behaviors aren't mild. They are funny and amusingly iconoclastic like a character on a sitcom.

Of course, that character is probably the naked guy from Friends but that is highly irrelevant.

Anonymous said...

Ooh... did the light finally go on over your head?


NotCarrie said...

The hug thing is weird. My (guy) friend told me how when he hugs someone it's because he won't see the person in awhile. I do it to convey something more than just words. No wonder there's so much confusion.

LivefromtheSR said...

The hugs thing is actually a wacky american thing. Normal people do not hug others unless they are family, lovers or really long time friends(and sometimes not even they get hugs).
Yes my heart is black and cold.

fish said...

I grew up in northern New England. Physical contact is strictly taboo. The invasion of personal space is intolerable.

Brando said...

I am with fish, although the no touching thing was beaten into me as a Catholic lad (you either got the no touching or the full confessional assault, no middle ground).

Anyway, my wife actually likes the Stooges and Stripes, even agreeing with me that you can tell when the Stripes crew ran out of pot with 30 more minutes of movie to make. I guess this explains why I'm always on the bottom.

Chuckles said...

Bottom of what?


Tee hee. Anyway, call me wannabe eurotrash, but hugs are a lame invention of people that didn't get enough physical connection to their families. Now they try to make up for it.

NotCarrie: Your guy friend is totally gay. When I am not going to see a friend in a while I say, "Bye." I never get grief from friends for that.

teh l4m3 said...

I hug people.

So does pop, and he's not gay.

Chuckles said...

Yeah, but pop is different. He's a rocker. He rocks out.