Wednesday, March 29, 2006

What Can I Say?

So I was checking out an apartment last night and stopped at the neighborhood giant bookstore to buy a cookie. I was one of the last two customer at the cafe in the store and the woman ahead of me was trying to decide her choice. She settled on a pretzel and was bantering back and forth with the clerks. She clearly worked there. She had given me the once over, but I was sure that she hadn't gotten a good look, so I made a comment about carbs and pretzels. She said that she hadn't eaten in a month and had dropped 20 pounds so what did she care about carbs? I responded with jeez, I just thought that's what people said these days. This resulted in more banter and then the introductions and wild sex.* She told about how her ex had cheated on her and I kept things moving with comments and then she went her way and I went mine. As I was leaving, she was giving directions as to the proper care and feeding of child. She looked like she maybe 23. Am I the one with the skewed perceptions here?

Anyway, apparently, I have developed some sort of pull. This is more than a little odd, but it probably has a lot to do with the fact that as talkative as I am, I really am not a people person. I like persons, though. I guess I am a person person.**

*One part of that sentence is false.
**As persons as persons?

16 comments:

teh l4m3 said...

Oh chuckles I can't believe she didn't ask you to STICK IT IN!!!1![/resrepublica]

Chuckles said...

She did. With her eyes.

teh l4m3 said...

"No" means yes, no?

pop renaissance said...

yeah, but if you didn't fuck her on the counter this is just another boring post.

hahahaha.

Chuckles said...

Yeah, thanks for the reminder, PopRen. I should post about actually fucking somebody sometime instead of just posting about how to fuck somebody over with smelly urine and festering fish filets.

teh l4m3 said...

Ooh, chuckles, you sure put the Ranch Dressing in my SPAM folder... Ooh, baby...

Lindsey said...

She's talking about kinky sex and you didn't ask her out?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Let's post the real version of the story:

Chuckles walked back to his mancave after he ate dinner with Mommy and Daddy. He stopped off at McDonald's for a Shamrock Shake. The 19 year old Puerto Rican girl who took his order, while talking on her cell phone discussed her ex and carbs with her baby daddy. She didn't even look at the Chuckster and then she threw his change at him before sliding the shake across the counter.

He walked home, enjoyed his shake and then shook hands with the unemployed.

Goddamnit Chuckie. Enough with this Coffeehouse Twinkies from VA. I will introduce you to one of my friends, you can be your little geek self, she'll like you and then we will hear stories about Chucklesgirl.

Good grief. It's really that damn simple. AG has never been single if she didn't want to be. Even if it required her to walk up to random hottie and say, "stick it in." And neither should you be single, my dear.

Fulsome, Nacho (BTW, WTF with Nachodude? He cannot even make a cameo here once and a while?), how did you deal with 4 years of Chuckie being like this in college? Didn't you boys teach him how to bag the babes? Goddammit. Should we get advice from Sean or Brian the Cobagz? Even teh gayz UC and Pinko can get girls, Chuckie. They did it by staying out of coffeehouses and networking. NETWORKING! And pointing out teh gayz dogs at Rod Dee in the GPV. (See UC for what GPV is.)

P.S. Don't let me fecking catch you again trying to replace me, me, your little not so secret blog crush for some girl who flashes her knockers for beads and Red Dawn. AG don't play that game!

Chuckles said...

Holy shit. I was wondering what it would take to get AG to come back. Apparently, all it took was some help from Smartypants.

Pinko Punko said...

chuckwagon, I miss those guys. let's attack their blog

Chuckles said...

Who SeanS? OK.

Smartypants said...

::laugh::

I like AG so much.

Shame on Chuckles for trying to drive a wedge between us.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

AG likes Smarty too. Smarty, I am going to visit your blog after life calms down in a week or two. I think I will enjoy it!

In the duration, I think it's time to visit Mr. Editor himself, teh Sean. Brian's blog is no more as I understand. Can we get a confirmation on that?

Chuckles said...

Brian Beer Pong is indeed no more.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

If only the same could be said for Steve-teh-ass, Jermturd, Seantheloser and Six Meat idiots!

Chuckles said...

Yweah, but I am totally proking allt heir babes in my head nad those douches are jacking it to some pictures of maimesd servicemen from iraqw.