So. The day started out well. I woke up on time and finished packing and ran off to work to send some last minute emails. I caught the bus and the metro easily enough. I was walking downstairs to transfer to the Yellow Line and looking for a bench with room to sit when I locked eyes with a devastatingly attractive brunette. "I know where I'm sitting," thought the small bit of my brain that was still working. We both gave a bit of a twitch and stopped staring at each other. I am willing to admit that she may have been staring at me out of stunned curiosity as to my t-shirt and my haircut. The mohawk is a little odd and being cut off this week.
So I sat down on the bench next to her, but not creepily close. She was reading USAToday and I whipped out my book, Hagakure, which I read because it accentuates my coolness. I glanced over at her paper and noticed her glancing at my book. We did that for a minute or two before I started laughing to myself. She asked me if I was laughing at her paper. I said that yes I was but not in a bad way. I explained that I was on my way to a wedding on a holiday weekend, just like the article was describing. We talked about that and horrible plane flights, there were laughs shared. The train came. I couldn't sit next to her or near enough to continue the conversation, so I did the lamest thing possible. I wrote my personal email address on the back of my business card and asked her to email me to share more travel horror stories.
Please understand that I had nothing else to write on and give her otherwise I would not have used the lamest tool in a man's arsenal. The business card. What the fuck was I thinking? Anyway, I haven't heard from her yet, but I did see the Troma car again and left a "Toxie says hi!" note on it, which should make that person's day. Or creep them the hell out.
Anyway, so I get to the airport and find out that my flight is delayed due to previous day's weather. I missed my connection in O'Hare and then had to wait in more lines that I can remember to get on a flight at 7:50 in the evening. I was supposed to be on a flight at 3:15.
I got to meet a bunch of people and watch some of them decide to rent cars to drive to Lansing, MI. Most of the other people going to Portland were on their way back from vacations or meetings which means that they were losing nothing by being late, while I was losing chimichanga time. I watched this kid carefully spreading fake cheese on a cracker on the floor underneath a counter by the customer service line for United. He spent at least half an hour spreading cheese on one cracker and then dropped it cheese side down. He carefully picked it up and scraped all the cheese off the floor and replaced it on the cracker. I was unable to watch him eat the cracker which I was really eager to see for some reason unknown to me now.
We finally took off around 9:30 after leaving the gate at 8:00. I recommend that everyone on a United flight listen to the From the Flight Deck channel. You can hear the interactions between the control tower and the planes on the same channel. It is illuminating and can give you more information about you actual departure time. We eventually take off ten minutes ahead of the massively delayed flight to which I was rescheduled.
Two hours into the flight, the head flight attendant asked if there were any doctors on the flight. A guy in my row leaps up and twenty minutes later we are making an emergency landing in Billings, MT. This takes an hour, but the guy lives. Apparently, the poor bastard was hemorrhaging.
We finally landed in Portland at 12:40 AM and my plans for an evening of burritos with my soon to be wed friends were shot to shit. Damn.
Categorized under Customer Service, schadenfreude, booty, frustration, I hate traveling, I love traveling, expensive vacations, long boring story not involving sex, and lost time.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
The US Senate: Tough as Nails on a Blackboard
The Senate is apparently forwarding a bill to raise the fine for hiring illegal immigrants to $20,000. This means deep doo doo pie for me and my team of Phillipino Stabbing Shortstacks and I am sure that Smithfield Farms are similarly quaking in their boots.
I think the Senate forgot a few zeroes. Like three or four. INS and/or IRS should be wandering around and asking to see the hiring managers files of 'proof that you are eligible to work in the US' papers that employers are required to keep on record. If the documents are forged then the fine is moot because it is unreasonable to expect every hiring manager to be an expert in detecting forgeries. If the managers are blatantly hiring undocumented workers, then the company should be fined for not policing itself and the hiring managers should also face a stiff fine and/or jail time. Just like those juicy farts at Enron. Get that passed and then you would see a real scuffle as hiring managers everywhere cleaned up their act and their bosses went apeshit. The only problem would then be that we would have 11 million more unemployed people in the US. That would be a huge drain on our resources. So, we should give them some sort of amnesty a while enacting the stiffer fines. New illegals are denied jobs and the old ones don't get shafted and left sitting here wondering what to do now that they have no options. Desperate people do desperate things. Like deleting whole comment threads.
Incidentally, as an anthropology major, I know quite a bit about ape shit. I also know quite a bit about how far it can be thrown be an adult male chimp and with how much force. Farther and harder than you would expect.
I think the Senate forgot a few zeroes. Like three or four. INS and/or IRS should be wandering around and asking to see the hiring managers files of 'proof that you are eligible to work in the US' papers that employers are required to keep on record. If the documents are forged then the fine is moot because it is unreasonable to expect every hiring manager to be an expert in detecting forgeries. If the managers are blatantly hiring undocumented workers, then the company should be fined for not policing itself and the hiring managers should also face a stiff fine and/or jail time. Just like those juicy farts at Enron. Get that passed and then you would see a real scuffle as hiring managers everywhere cleaned up their act and their bosses went apeshit. The only problem would then be that we would have 11 million more unemployed people in the US. That would be a huge drain on our resources. So, we should give them some sort of amnesty a while enacting the stiffer fines. New illegals are denied jobs and the old ones don't get shafted and left sitting here wondering what to do now that they have no options. Desperate people do desperate things. Like deleting whole comment threads.
Incidentally, as an anthropology major, I know quite a bit about ape shit. I also know quite a bit about how far it can be thrown be an adult male chimp and with how much force. Farther and harder than you would expect.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Claim Your Cash, emu apple
This was the subject line of a spam I received this morning. Monday has started off this short week with a lot of bludgeoning The Genius about the face and head. First, I stayed up late last night watching The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and then a a second time with the commentary. Did you know that there are parts of that movie filmed in 3-D?
Anywho. I woke up and did all the usual morning rituals1 and even ate breakfast. The milk was at that stage where it still smells ok, but acts like it has gone bad after you eat it with cheerios. I have a rumbly in my tumbly.
Then, I got the high price for my coffee which is still cheaper than Starbuck's, but high enough that I am going to buy, grind and make my own coffee in the morning. I walked to work like usual. I was struck by the need to hawk a loog and some of it ended up on my shoe.
I did not see the green car with the Troma bumper sticker.2 I am more than slightly disappointed but such is life. Whatever, I am going to Oregon this weekend for four days of celebration and craziness. Booze. And hopefully, boobs.
UPDATE: I saw the green Troma car. I left a stupid note about Toxie. I think the owner is a waiter in one of the restaraunts in my block. I bet they are totally creeped out now.
1 I sacrificed two wrens and a bowl of figs to Bacchus in the hopes of greater prosperity and to begin preparations for hangover reduction for the upcoming festivities in Oregon.
2 If life is fair,3 I won't ever see this car again.
3 Which it isn't, just look at Africa if you need confirmation. Or our electoral college.
Anywho. I woke up and did all the usual morning rituals1 and even ate breakfast. The milk was at that stage where it still smells ok, but acts like it has gone bad after you eat it with cheerios. I have a rumbly in my tumbly.
Then, I got the high price for my coffee which is still cheaper than Starbuck's, but high enough that I am going to buy, grind and make my own coffee in the morning. I walked to work like usual. I was struck by the need to hawk a loog and some of it ended up on my shoe.
I did not see the green car with the Troma bumper sticker.2 I am more than slightly disappointed but such is life. Whatever, I am going to Oregon this weekend for four days of celebration and craziness. Booze. And hopefully, boobs.
UPDATE: I saw the green Troma car. I left a stupid note about Toxie. I think the owner is a waiter in one of the restaraunts in my block. I bet they are totally creeped out now.
1 I sacrificed two wrens and a bowl of figs to Bacchus in the hopes of greater prosperity and to begin preparations for hangover reduction for the upcoming festivities in Oregon.
2 If life is fair,3 I won't ever see this car again.
3 Which it isn't, just look at Africa if you need confirmation. Or our electoral college.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Pharyngula Slays Me!
I read this sentence twice before I figured it out:
Four of my favorite things are development, evolution, and breasts, and now I have an article that ties them all together in one pretty package.
Awesome. I am really on the ball today.
To hell with frugalness and all that shit. I am going out tonight to Nanny O'Briens in Cleveland Park and I am going to drink at least 5 Imperial pints of something, probably Guiness, and write more of my horror screenplay. This weekend is set aside for writing screenplays and picking up my specially tailored pants.
In other news, I haven't seen the car with the "I heart Tromaville High School" again, so I am willing to be that it was indeed driven by a hot single women in her late twenties who loves watching really bad science fiction movies. I will never met her.
My life is a dark pit of dark darkness in an abyssal sea of tragedy.
Four of my favorite things are development, evolution, and breasts, and now I have an article that ties them all together in one pretty package.
Awesome. I am really on the ball today.
To hell with frugalness and all that shit. I am going out tonight to Nanny O'Briens in Cleveland Park and I am going to drink at least 5 Imperial pints of something, probably Guiness, and write more of my horror screenplay. This weekend is set aside for writing screenplays and picking up my specially tailored pants.
In other news, I haven't seen the car with the "I heart Tromaville High School" again, so I am willing to be that it was indeed driven by a hot single women in her late twenties who loves watching really bad science fiction movies. I will never met her.
My life is a dark pit of dark darkness in an abyssal sea of tragedy.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
The Mighty Potomac River Has Killed Too Many Fine Americans!
An average of one person dies on the Potomac River every month.1 The tap water in Washington, DC contains dangerous levels of lead.2 There are dangerous and varying levels of perchlorate in the groundwater underneath Sibley Hospital and the Spring Valley area. It is also probable that it has invaded the Dalecarlia reservoir. The perchlorate blooms may even have reached the Potomac River.3 There are already recommended limits to consumption of fish caught in the Anacostia and Potomac rivers. Pregnant women should not eat the fish at all.
These hazards all add up to one inevitable conclusion: The water in the DC metropolitan area is trying to kill American citizens and the residents of the CAPITAL OF THE FREE WORLD! It is time we met this challenge HEAD ON!
There is no time for special advisory committees! This is a time for ACTION! We need a man in charge that gets things done!
We need to remove this threat to our livelihood swiftly and decisively. We need to show H20 that we are not afraid and not cowed by these blatant and egregious attacks. Most of our conventional weapons will be useless as bullets just pass through water without actually harming it. Explosives would only spread out the lethal H20 and that is clearly a sub-optimal result.
Nuclear weapons are clearly handy at destroying pretty much anything, but they might harm the White House if it weren't able to raise the deflector shields. Oh, and all the monuments to the REAL AMERICANS might also be destroyed and I am sure the liberals would find some way to blame that on the Bush administration.4
What we need is a microwave generator that will vaporize all the water in the city in less than five minutes. I have heard that Batman knows where we could find one. I am sure that he would be willing to help us. We are on the side of the right and justice, so it shouldn't be a problem.
Some people may say that this is an extreme answer to this problem and to them I say this: Stop being such a nancy-boy pantywaist cobag. This is serious problem and it demands a serious solution, folks. THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION.
1 According to crusty old river woman that runs the canoe rental at Fletcher's Cove. I think she is actually the basis for Robert Shaw's infamous seadog, Captain Quint.
2 According to everyone and all the news organizations in the city. The government sends out free Brita filters every month.
3 According to a story in the Northwest Current in the week of April 26, 2006. Perchlorate is component in the WW1 era chemical weapons that were buried in DC. Don't even get me started on that issue. Perchlorate causes lymbic problems later in life if I remember correctly.
4 Clearly, if that were to happen, it would be the water's fault for forcing us to use such weapons on it.
These hazards all add up to one inevitable conclusion: The water in the DC metropolitan area is trying to kill American citizens and the residents of the CAPITAL OF THE FREE WORLD! It is time we met this challenge HEAD ON!
There is no time for special advisory committees! This is a time for ACTION! We need a man in charge that gets things done!
We need to remove this threat to our livelihood swiftly and decisively. We need to show H20 that we are not afraid and not cowed by these blatant and egregious attacks. Most of our conventional weapons will be useless as bullets just pass through water without actually harming it. Explosives would only spread out the lethal H20 and that is clearly a sub-optimal result.
Nuclear weapons are clearly handy at destroying pretty much anything, but they might harm the White House if it weren't able to raise the deflector shields. Oh, and all the monuments to the REAL AMERICANS might also be destroyed and I am sure the liberals would find some way to blame that on the Bush administration.4
What we need is a microwave generator that will vaporize all the water in the city in less than five minutes. I have heard that Batman knows where we could find one. I am sure that he would be willing to help us. We are on the side of the right and justice, so it shouldn't be a problem.
Some people may say that this is an extreme answer to this problem and to them I say this: Stop being such a nancy-boy pantywaist cobag. This is serious problem and it demands a serious solution, folks. THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION.
1 According to crusty old river woman that runs the canoe rental at Fletcher's Cove. I think she is actually the basis for Robert Shaw's infamous seadog, Captain Quint.
2 According to everyone and all the news organizations in the city. The government sends out free Brita filters every month.
3 According to a story in the Northwest Current in the week of April 26, 2006. Perchlorate is component in the WW1 era chemical weapons that were buried in DC. Don't even get me started on that issue. Perchlorate causes lymbic problems later in life if I remember correctly.
4 Clearly, if that were to happen, it would be the water's fault for forcing us to use such weapons on it.
Cobagitation Projects, or I Got Your Back, Clif!
I was just over at Respectfully Republican: A Blog for Washington's Young Republicans Chickenhawks and I will probably never get a comment posted. They have moderation enabled. I left two points of information, although I should have left three. The first one detailed how the White House is not one word, the second detailed the difference between fair and fare and the third point should have been instructions on the proper use of the varieties of you. Whatevs.
They don't seem all that crazy at first and this is rather disappointing. I read that Patrick Bell claims to be a moderate on social issues and independent on policy issues and my Cobag SenseTM went off. How can a person claim this and vote Republican? If we were to measure this, what is the benchmark? Let's start with a 1-10 scale and let's say the year is 1992.
1 means you are a fervent liberal and really want NAFTA and think it is going to help and will vote for Clinton and are basically super liberal, bit not a tinfoil hatter. Those people on both ends are what the Genius likes to call statistical outliers. 10 means you wish Reagan was still eligible for office. The middle is the no man's land and maybe you want NAFTA but dislike Clinton for all the booty or some mix like that.
Let's move the date ahead to 1996, the ends of the scale are still basically the same. In 1998, something happened to the scale. It is still essentially the same, but the lead guitarist from Spinal Tap got ahold of it and now it is a 1 to 15 scale. 1 still means basically the same as previous years, Clinton is still great and hooray for the internet and stock market. 10 is also still the same, Clinton is still bad and the lack of a deficit is annoying. 15 however is a new phase of American politics. 15 represents the Clinton is the Anti-Christ and Jesus tells me so because Clinton fooled around even while he was reducing crime and balancing the budget. The middle of the scale is now 7.5 and well inside the conservative side of the previous scale. What does it mean to be moderate in 1998? In 2000? In 2002, 2004, 2006 and 2008?
I think we are now on a 1 to 30 scale. 1 still represents the people who would like to have grass, trees, parks, reduced pollution, lower corruption, responsible government holding corporations appropriately responsible for their actions, but 30 represents the neo-fascist movement of people like Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter who are advocating goon squads of young conservatives to run around beating those who don;t share their views. 25 is a good mark for those who only advocate death for non-believers and non-Americans like MJ' or for those who want to limit all birth control forms anywhere for anyone in the country. 20 is the people like Frist and pals who would be willing to enforce their religion on the entire country, but not if it means they might lose an election or control of the House and Senate. These are the people that are eroding the rights of all single Americans to good sex by limiting access to contraception.
The middle of this scale is now a 15. 15 is still well beyond the range originally set in 1992. So what the hell does that mean to be moderate when the scale is so lopsided? I'll tell you: It means that Patrick Bell is a total cobag lardmuffin chunderloaf who likes to post other people's personal information on the web. I'll be in Portland next weekend and that isn't too far away from Seattle, so maybe I'll just cobagitate in front of his house. Except that I don't know where he lives and works and if I did, I wouldn't post it anywhere.
I am incidentally disappointed that his blog contains no links to recruitment offices for any of the armed forces of America. That is a clear display of how much he supports the war, I guess.
UPDATE: My comment made it through moderation. This is strangely disappointing.
They don't seem all that crazy at first and this is rather disappointing. I read that Patrick Bell claims to be a moderate on social issues and independent on policy issues and my Cobag SenseTM went off. How can a person claim this and vote Republican? If we were to measure this, what is the benchmark? Let's start with a 1-10 scale and let's say the year is 1992.
1 means you are a fervent liberal and really want NAFTA and think it is going to help and will vote for Clinton and are basically super liberal, bit not a tinfoil hatter. Those people on both ends are what the Genius likes to call statistical outliers. 10 means you wish Reagan was still eligible for office. The middle is the no man's land and maybe you want NAFTA but dislike Clinton for all the booty or some mix like that.
Let's move the date ahead to 1996, the ends of the scale are still basically the same. In 1998, something happened to the scale. It is still essentially the same, but the lead guitarist from Spinal Tap got ahold of it and now it is a 1 to 15 scale. 1 still means basically the same as previous years, Clinton is still great and hooray for the internet and stock market. 10 is also still the same, Clinton is still bad and the lack of a deficit is annoying. 15 however is a new phase of American politics. 15 represents the Clinton is the Anti-Christ and Jesus tells me so because Clinton fooled around even while he was reducing crime and balancing the budget. The middle of the scale is now 7.5 and well inside the conservative side of the previous scale. What does it mean to be moderate in 1998? In 2000? In 2002, 2004, 2006 and 2008?
I think we are now on a 1 to 30 scale. 1 still represents the people who would like to have grass, trees, parks, reduced pollution, lower corruption, responsible government holding corporations appropriately responsible for their actions, but 30 represents the neo-fascist movement of people like Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter who are advocating goon squads of young conservatives to run around beating those who don;t share their views. 25 is a good mark for those who only advocate death for non-believers and non-Americans like MJ' or for those who want to limit all birth control forms anywhere for anyone in the country. 20 is the people like Frist and pals who would be willing to enforce their religion on the entire country, but not if it means they might lose an election or control of the House and Senate. These are the people that are eroding the rights of all single Americans to good sex by limiting access to contraception.
The middle of this scale is now a 15. 15 is still well beyond the range originally set in 1992. So what the hell does that mean to be moderate when the scale is so lopsided? I'll tell you: It means that Patrick Bell is a total cobag lardmuffin chunderloaf who likes to post other people's personal information on the web. I'll be in Portland next weekend and that isn't too far away from Seattle, so maybe I'll just cobagitate in front of his house. Except that I don't know where he lives and works and if I did, I wouldn't post it anywhere.
I am incidentally disappointed that his blog contains no links to recruitment offices for any of the armed forces of America. That is a clear display of how much he supports the war, I guess.
UPDATE: My comment made it through moderation. This is strangely disappointing.
Pretentious Poetry Thursday SLAM Edition!1!! This one goes out to all the cobagz.
Hey Piddle Diddle
The hipcat and the fiddle
kidnapped the dog and a spoon.
The geriatric cow got tired of the milking
and dry humped the rotten moon.
Child protective services arrested
some old bitch living in a shoe.
Reform School Girls Seven
starred five of her brood.
Twelve of the little bastards
were shot dealing junk.
Three got shanked
for talking in the clink.
So always wear a rubber
its better than you think.
The hipcat and the fiddle
kidnapped the dog and a spoon.
The geriatric cow got tired of the milking
and dry humped the rotten moon.
Child protective services arrested
some old bitch living in a shoe.
Reform School Girls Seven
starred five of her brood.
Twelve of the little bastards
were shot dealing junk.
Three got shanked
for talking in the clink.
So always wear a rubber
its better than you think.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
3X3 Tagging
Three Favorite Books in Translation:
The Fall by Albert Camus
The Complete Works of Plato
Beowulf
Three Life Defining Condiments:
Hummus
Green salsa
Expensive mustard
Last Three Meals:
Dinner: Carrots, a banana, a Carnation Instant Drink mix from powder and milk, and water
Lunch: A banana, roast beef and turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomato, crappy mustard and muenster cheese, a small box of Wheat Thins, a tangerine and two packets of almond Pocky
Croissant and large mocha (Not Starbucks)
Three Albums in Heavy Rotation:
The Life Pursuit by Belle and Sebastian
Johnny Cash: Life at Folsom Prison, Live at San Quentin, American Recordings 3 and The Legend of
Kruder and Dorfmeister: The K&D Sessions
Three Pets:
Helob the Tarantula
Al the Green Iguana
Lizard the Skink Self caught in a Roman ruin in Turkey at age 10.
Three Favorite Flowers:
Dendrobiums
Paphiloma
Phalinopsis I don't even know if these are spelled right, I don't really have favorite flowers unless it is romantically expedient.
Three Favorite Drag Names:
Roger Coreman
Uwe Bollerina
Belinda Carlisle
Three Sexiest Musicians:
Other than Liz Phair, I don't really know any.
Oh, wait! The woman in The Lovemakers is really hot, or maybe that is just the cover art.
There's always Deborah Harry, too.
Three People Who Should Do This:
C.E. Mick (He won't, but whatever.)
Jennny Monkey (I doubt she will either.)
RICK JAMES, BITCH!1!!
The Fall by Albert Camus
The Complete Works of Plato
Beowulf
Three Life Defining Condiments:
Hummus
Green salsa
Expensive mustard
Last Three Meals:
Dinner: Carrots, a banana, a Carnation Instant Drink mix from powder and milk, and water
Lunch: A banana, roast beef and turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomato, crappy mustard and muenster cheese, a small box of Wheat Thins, a tangerine and two packets of almond Pocky
Croissant and large mocha (Not Starbucks)
Three Albums in Heavy Rotation:
The Life Pursuit by Belle and Sebastian
Johnny Cash: Life at Folsom Prison, Live at San Quentin, American Recordings 3 and The Legend of
Kruder and Dorfmeister: The K&D Sessions
Three Pets:
Helob the Tarantula
Al the Green Iguana
Lizard the Skink Self caught in a Roman ruin in Turkey at age 10.
Three Favorite Flowers:
Dendrobiums
Paphiloma
Phalinopsis I don't even know if these are spelled right, I don't really have favorite flowers unless it is romantically expedient.
Three Favorite Drag Names:
Roger Coreman
Uwe Bollerina
Belinda Carlisle
Three Sexiest Musicians:
Other than Liz Phair, I don't really know any.
Oh, wait! The woman in The Lovemakers is really hot, or maybe that is just the cover art.
There's always Deborah Harry, too.
Three People Who Should Do This:
C.E. Mick (He won't, but whatever.)
Jennny Monkey (I doubt she will either.)
RICK JAMES, BITCH!1!!
Toxie <3 You Back, Babe
I woke up this morning from much less sleep than usual and I had the same problem most people do in this situation. I had trouble for the first ten to fifteen minutes differentiating between the dream and the reality. I was sitting on the crapper and I kept wondering where all the somethings had gone that I vaguely remembered harassing me earlier. I was driving a long haul truck from Somewhere, ND to someplace, MA(FL?) and there were little things bothering me. Anyway, I think that for every 15 minute period less than seven hours I exponentially lose details in my dreams. If I get more sleep than seven hours, I don't receive any benefit until after the eighth hour. This mnemomnic aid to dream remembrance peaks at nine and a half hours and then begins to fade. If I should sleep for a whole twelve hours without the help of booze, I have almost as much trouble remembering a dream as I do when I get much less sleep than normal. I figured this out in the shower and I can give evidence in anecdotal form. But it is really boring.1
I was walking to work after stopping at the convenience store for the big bottle of ibuprofen for my arthritis and I realized I should probably lay off the jogging. I think I will alternate with two weeks of rollerblading followed by one week of jogging.2
Anyway, so I got my variably priced coffee and a muffin for breakfast and walked to work.3 In the last block from work, I saw a bumper sticker that read, "I heart Tromaville High School". How awesome is that?5 I am going to leave a note that reads, "Toxie hearts you back" if the car is still there at lunch.
It is a rollercoaster ride of craziness in Geniusland.
1 When has that stopped me before?
2 I have an arthritic hip from an old sledding injury. It can be quite painful if aroused.4
3 7 cups of coffee, 5 different prices, all cheaper than Starbucks. It would be nice if they would post a price, but it wouldn't change my purchase, so why am I bitching?
4 Not aroused that way. Seriously, get your mind out of fulsome's crotch.
5 If the car is owned by an attractive, single woman in my age range, the awesomeness can not be measured with currently available technology. If the car is owned by a cool dude, well, that is pretty cool and I could have a new person with whom to watch shitty movies but it isn't as cool as the first choice.
6 WTF is with blogger's word verification for posts? zhfcker: Maybe I should leave well enough alone.
I was walking to work after stopping at the convenience store for the big bottle of ibuprofen for my arthritis and I realized I should probably lay off the jogging. I think I will alternate with two weeks of rollerblading followed by one week of jogging.2
Anyway, so I got my variably priced coffee and a muffin for breakfast and walked to work.3 In the last block from work, I saw a bumper sticker that read, "I heart Tromaville High School". How awesome is that?5 I am going to leave a note that reads, "Toxie hearts you back" if the car is still there at lunch.
It is a rollercoaster ride of craziness in Geniusland.
1 When has that stopped me before?
2 I have an arthritic hip from an old sledding injury. It can be quite painful if aroused.4
3 7 cups of coffee, 5 different prices, all cheaper than Starbucks. It would be nice if they would post a price, but it wouldn't change my purchase, so why am I bitching?
4 Not aroused that way. Seriously, get your mind out of fulsome's crotch.
5 If the car is owned by an attractive, single woman in my age range, the awesomeness can not be measured with currently available technology. If the car is owned by a cool dude, well, that is pretty cool and I could have a new person with whom to watch shitty movies but it isn't as cool as the first choice.
6 WTF is with blogger's word verification for posts? zhfcker: Maybe I should leave well enough alone.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
HOW MUCH MORE EVIDENCE DO YOU NEED?
Seriously, Canuck, Peevey, SeanS, WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE? How much more evidence of shenanigans, theft, immorality and outright bullshit do you all need before you realize that the Republican agenda is cleverly constructed scam to screw and all the other people that vote for them? Solid, transparent, accountable government is the only one that can protect you from companies like Walmart or the oil companies that are currently raping your budget or stock market crooks or bastards that are bankrupting the state and causing rolling blackouts in mid-summer.
HOW MUCH MORE EVIDENCE DO YOU NEED BEFORE YOU WILL ADMIT THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN WRONG TO SUPPORT THESE ASSHOLES AND SWITCH VOTES?
Canuck, Walmart gives a fuck load of money to the Republicans and if you don't want to see them win every case like the one you sent me then vote for someone different this time. IF YOU DO NOT THE DIRECTION THE COUNTRY IS HEADING THEN YOU ARE OBLIGATED TO VOTE YOU CONSCIENCE AND VOTE DEMOCRATIC. REPUBLICANS HAVE BEEN RUNNING THIS COUNTRY INTO A FUCKING GIANT HOLE IN THE GROUND FOR TEN YEARS AND WILL JUST KEEP IT UP IF YOU LET THEM.
Deficit spending does not mean less taxes, people. It just delays the payments to later in life like a 0% APR credit card for the first 8 months, the bills just come due a little later and at a much higher interest rate.
FUCK! FUCKITY FUCK FUCK! WAKE UP COBAGZ!
THERE WERE NEVER ANY GODDAM WMDS AND NO FUCKING LINK BETWEEN SADDAM AND AL QAEDA YOU FUCKING TERROR BAITING BUSH HUMPING MONKEYS.
HOW MUCH MORE EVIDENCE DO YOU NEED BEFORE YOU WILL ADMIT THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN WRONG TO SUPPORT THESE ASSHOLES AND SWITCH VOTES?
Canuck, Walmart gives a fuck load of money to the Republicans and if you don't want to see them win every case like the one you sent me then vote for someone different this time. IF YOU DO NOT THE DIRECTION THE COUNTRY IS HEADING THEN YOU ARE OBLIGATED TO VOTE YOU CONSCIENCE AND VOTE DEMOCRATIC. REPUBLICANS HAVE BEEN RUNNING THIS COUNTRY INTO A FUCKING GIANT HOLE IN THE GROUND FOR TEN YEARS AND WILL JUST KEEP IT UP IF YOU LET THEM.
Deficit spending does not mean less taxes, people. It just delays the payments to later in life like a 0% APR credit card for the first 8 months, the bills just come due a little later and at a much higher interest rate.
FUCK! FUCKITY FUCK FUCK! WAKE UP COBAGZ!
THERE WERE NEVER ANY GODDAM WMDS AND NO FUCKING LINK BETWEEN SADDAM AND AL QAEDA YOU FUCKING TERROR BAITING BUSH HUMPING MONKEYS.
Monday, May 15, 2006
In Cartoon Land:
Pirates and Ninjas will always be enemies. I hope that the PvN Peace Accords will hold in our world, but I fear that all this animosity on display in various webcomics will not influence the Road Map to Ninja and Pirate prosperity and calm.
In other news, I may be subtle, but that doesn't mean women should be.
In other news, I may be subtle, but that doesn't mean women should be.
A little something about The Genius
I watch movies every night after working out and I have seen some really awesome and some really awesomely bad movies. I have been working on some stories/script lately. I have several under development, but the one currently ricocheting around my frontal lobes is a horror story. I thought I would be a pretty weak horror writer until I started this script. I must admit that it is a screenplay adaptation of another's story and I feel like I am cheating. I am adapting it for modern technology and adding some extra people for an even more sinister atmosphere, but I don't understand the origin of the antagonists.
I know where they come from in the story and I understand their motivations. I don't understand why I feel compelled to let them win. Or the sympathy I feel toward their cause.1 These are hideous people and they perform awful acts, but I keep writing nastier and nastier. I want to know where this comes from within me.
Anyone will say that they would do anything to protect their family or whatever, but it is another person entirely who would say that and actually be physically capable of it. I like to think of myself as a good person. I don't drive a car, I clean up litter occasionally, I don't litter, I help people with directions, donate clothes and books.2 So why would have anything in common with the monsters in this story? Incidents like this remind me that while I may be a basically good, ethical, moral individual, but I was not far from being a really horrible example of humanity.
Rather like our fair country. I have heard it said that America has been a few steps away from fascism at several points in our history. Imagine if the greenshirts had managed to keep us out of active involvement in WW2. Perhaps we might have also started selling weapons, supplies and oil to Germany in an extremely profitable neutrality scheme. Imagine if the dishonorable Joe McCarthy had gained enough support to brow beat the news organizations into obedience. Perhaps he might have been elected President. The Cuban Missile Crisis could have led to everyone's death. Imagine if Ann Coulter was so charismatic she was able to persuade neo-cons to form gangs and assault liberals and other dissenters. Imagine if our government were actively spying on its citizens. Imagine if our news organizations were owned by the supporters of that government. Oh crap.
1 Incidentally, while writing this sentence I realized that the entire plot could be an allegory for the environmental/economical policies of the current administration. Should this movie ever get made, I will explain this.
2 Of course, the motivations behind all these actions are entirely selfish. We don't give a hobo our spare change because s/he needs it, we give it to them to feel better about the contrast in situations.
I know where they come from in the story and I understand their motivations. I don't understand why I feel compelled to let them win. Or the sympathy I feel toward their cause.1 These are hideous people and they perform awful acts, but I keep writing nastier and nastier. I want to know where this comes from within me.
Anyone will say that they would do anything to protect their family or whatever, but it is another person entirely who would say that and actually be physically capable of it. I like to think of myself as a good person. I don't drive a car, I clean up litter occasionally, I don't litter, I help people with directions, donate clothes and books.2 So why would have anything in common with the monsters in this story? Incidents like this remind me that while I may be a basically good, ethical, moral individual, but I was not far from being a really horrible example of humanity.
Rather like our fair country. I have heard it said that America has been a few steps away from fascism at several points in our history. Imagine if the greenshirts had managed to keep us out of active involvement in WW2. Perhaps we might have also started selling weapons, supplies and oil to Germany in an extremely profitable neutrality scheme. Imagine if the dishonorable Joe McCarthy had gained enough support to brow beat the news organizations into obedience. Perhaps he might have been elected President. The Cuban Missile Crisis could have led to everyone's death. Imagine if Ann Coulter was so charismatic she was able to persuade neo-cons to form gangs and assault liberals and other dissenters. Imagine if our government were actively spying on its citizens. Imagine if our news organizations were owned by the supporters of that government. Oh crap.
1 Incidentally, while writing this sentence I realized that the entire plot could be an allegory for the environmental/economical policies of the current administration. Should this movie ever get made, I will explain this.
2 Of course, the motivations behind all these actions are entirely selfish. We don't give a hobo our spare change because s/he needs it, we give it to them to feel better about the contrast in situations.
Friday, May 12, 2006
All the President's Spies, or Why Isn't This News
Yesterday morning, I heard another infuriating item of Bush and Co's total moral and ethical bankruptcy on NPR. The NSA has obtained the call records of three of the big telecommunication companies. Qwest is the only holdout and good for them.
I read All The President's Men about a year ago. I wanted to learn just what the hell had happened in the Watergate scandal. I would recommend that book to anyone because it was really interesting to learn how investigative journalism works and how it is necessary to maintain a democracy. I have said this before, but I'll relate it again. I met Daniel Ellsberg in the summer of 2001. I programmed his VCRs and showed him how to record TV shows. I had no idea who he was or why my parents were so impressed. In case you don't know who he is either, links for you.
I watched All The President's Men last night. Those were the days.
Today, Washingtonpost.com has only this to say about the wiretapping and call records fiasco:
Post-ABC Poll
Support Found for NSA Program
Call-tracking is an acceptable way to investigate terrorism,
63 percent of Americans say.
–Richard Morin 7 a.m. ET
A fucking poll of:
"A total of 502 randomly selected adults were interviewed Thursday night for this survey. Margin of sampling error is five percentage points for the overall results. The practical difficulties of doing a survey in a single night represents another potential source of error."
The wiretapping, internet search engine records and call records add up to a massively bad picture of our executive running wild again. Just like Nixon's administration, Bush and Co are destroying our democracy through an executive branch that believes its word is law and an intelligence agency that is complicit with every edict and act of that executive. Unlike the Nixon administration, the Washington Post does not care to actually report anything biting on the Bush administration. They should be listed in the coalition of the willing along with Faux News, CNN, and pretty much everyone else.
This is like watching a group of six year olds playing soccer, but one team is afraid of the ball. Every time the ball comes near the fraidy cats, they either kick it out of bounds or run away. The other team is scoring circles around them. I've never even taken a journalism class1 and I feel like I could write circles around these assholes.2 If they weren't busy getting humped by Scott McClellan and now Tony Snow.
If this isn't blatant evidence that the liberal media is a myth, then I am a giant cobag. At this point, I have a better chance of slaying a gorgon or minotaur than I do of finding a newspaper willing to aggressively pursue a story of governmental malfeasance.
Incidentally, the NSA says that the soreness in right asscheek should fade in a few days and that the tracking and monitoring device will not begin to leak radiation into my bloodstream for at least a month or two.
UPDATE at 2 PM: So the Washington Post print edition and the New York Times print edition both have articles about this. This makes me feel a little better, but the fact that they were both scooped by USA Today still pisses me off. These papers are behaving like little baby birds waiting for Mama White House to drop some news in their laps. They really need to get off their asses and get the stories. Still pissed off.
1 Although I did write a piece for the college newspaper, The Round Table. The editors only cut some bits, they didn't add anything to it.
2 Off topic, Ben D is still a giant chunderwad.
I read All The President's Men about a year ago. I wanted to learn just what the hell had happened in the Watergate scandal. I would recommend that book to anyone because it was really interesting to learn how investigative journalism works and how it is necessary to maintain a democracy. I have said this before, but I'll relate it again. I met Daniel Ellsberg in the summer of 2001. I programmed his VCRs and showed him how to record TV shows. I had no idea who he was or why my parents were so impressed. In case you don't know who he is either, links for you.
I watched All The President's Men last night. Those were the days.
Today, Washingtonpost.com has only this to say about the wiretapping and call records fiasco:
Post-ABC Poll
Support Found for NSA Program
Call-tracking is an acceptable way to investigate terrorism,
63 percent of Americans say.
–Richard Morin 7 a.m. ET
A fucking poll of:
"A total of 502 randomly selected adults were interviewed Thursday night for this survey. Margin of sampling error is five percentage points for the overall results. The practical difficulties of doing a survey in a single night represents another potential source of error."
The wiretapping, internet search engine records and call records add up to a massively bad picture of our executive running wild again. Just like Nixon's administration, Bush and Co are destroying our democracy through an executive branch that believes its word is law and an intelligence agency that is complicit with every edict and act of that executive. Unlike the Nixon administration, the Washington Post does not care to actually report anything biting on the Bush administration. They should be listed in the coalition of the willing along with Faux News, CNN, and pretty much everyone else.
This is like watching a group of six year olds playing soccer, but one team is afraid of the ball. Every time the ball comes near the fraidy cats, they either kick it out of bounds or run away. The other team is scoring circles around them. I've never even taken a journalism class1 and I feel like I could write circles around these assholes.2 If they weren't busy getting humped by Scott McClellan and now Tony Snow.
If this isn't blatant evidence that the liberal media is a myth, then I am a giant cobag. At this point, I have a better chance of slaying a gorgon or minotaur than I do of finding a newspaper willing to aggressively pursue a story of governmental malfeasance.
Incidentally, the NSA says that the soreness in right asscheek should fade in a few days and that the tracking and monitoring device will not begin to leak radiation into my bloodstream for at least a month or two.
UPDATE at 2 PM: So the Washington Post print edition and the New York Times print edition both have articles about this. This makes me feel a little better, but the fact that they were both scooped by USA Today still pisses me off. These papers are behaving like little baby birds waiting for Mama White House to drop some news in their laps. They really need to get off their asses and get the stories. Still pissed off.
1 Although I did write a piece for the college newspaper, The Round Table. The editors only cut some bits, they didn't add anything to it.
2 Off topic, Ben D is still a giant chunderwad.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Why yes, my name is Helena. Are you Mr. Andbasquette?
MDR-TB, Bird Flu, Massive Hurricanes, Global Warming and the Nintendo Wee Wee. What is happening to our planet? I just hope we last long enough for me to get to level 60 in World of Warcraft. Which I will never play.
Also, Bolshephobia - The fear of Bolsheviks. I believe that this is the inspiration for sites likeCobag World Today Shoot-a-liberal (many links below).
Also, Bolshephobia - The fear of Bolsheviks. I believe that this is the inspiration for sites like
The Descent into the Schoolyard
The following is an exchange where I officially give up pointing out their flaws in an argument style. I am just going to insult the shit out of them from now on. Totally unworthy are they.
fmragtops Says:
May 8th, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Chuckles! You found us. We so missed your expert commentary and rapist-like wit. Will the rest of your band of merry liberals be joining us soon? I so look forward to more rounds of your name calling and Mooronic talking points. You just keep on tossing up softballs, and we’ll keep on taking you yard. ---What does that mean anway?
Steve the Pirate Says:
May 9th, 2006 at 4:37 am
I knew I smelled fire, brimstone, and patchouli in here.
Welcome back, Chuckles, you sorry sack of shi’ite.
Chuckles Says:
May 10th, 2006 at 12:51 pm
My comment was deleted because I’m a total retard! --- Original comment:
True honesty from Peeve: a racial slur. Nice. That displays the content of your character better than a thousand posts ever could.
By the way, I use Old Spice: Fresh Patchouli Scent. Your mom tells me it is her favorite cologne.
Steve the Pirate Says:
May 10th, 2006 at 4:37 pm
Didn’t I warn you, Chuckles? =)
Chuckles Says:
May 11th, 2006 at 11:24 am
My comment was deleted because Steve and SeanS can dish it out but can’t take it.
Unlike their moms, who take it hard every night. From Al Franken and Michael Moore.
fmragtops Says:
May 8th, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Chuckles! You found us. We so missed your expert commentary and rapist-like wit. Will the rest of your band of merry liberals be joining us soon? I so look forward to more rounds of your name calling and Mooronic talking points. You just keep on tossing up softballs, and we’ll keep on taking you yard. ---What does that mean anway?
Steve the Pirate Says:
May 9th, 2006 at 4:37 am
I knew I smelled fire, brimstone, and patchouli in here.
Welcome back, Chuckles, you sorry sack of shi’ite.
Chuckles Says:
May 10th, 2006 at 12:51 pm
My comment was deleted because I’m a total retard! --- Original comment:
True honesty from Peeve: a racial slur. Nice. That displays the content of your character better than a thousand posts ever could.
By the way, I use Old Spice: Fresh Patchouli Scent. Your mom tells me it is her favorite cologne.
Steve the Pirate Says:
May 10th, 2006 at 4:37 pm
Didn’t I warn you, Chuckles? =)
Chuckles Says:
May 11th, 2006 at 11:24 am
My comment was deleted because Steve and SeanS can dish it out but can’t take it.
Unlike their moms, who take it hard every night. From Al Franken and Michael Moore.
Recent Projects
I have been reading a nifty collection of short stories. There is one from China Mieville and some other people. I don't have it at work or I would post the title. It is the year's best fantasy and horror or something.
I have watched a bunch of movies in the last week: Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Unleashed, Hero(the Jet Li one and not the Dustin Hoffman one), The One, Once Upon a Time in the West, Batman Begins, Doom(Still funny), Anatomy of a Murder and The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
I have also been engaged in a mild battle with the forces of stupidity:
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
I have watched a bunch of movies in the last week: Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Unleashed, Hero(the Jet Li one and not the Dustin Hoffman one), The One, Once Upon a Time in the West, Batman Begins, Doom(Still funny), Anatomy of a Murder and The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
I have also been engaged in a mild battle with the forces of stupidity:
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
(SEANS HAS A TINY WIENER AND STEVE THE PIRATE ONLY GETS HARD BY STROKING HIS GUN AND LOOKING AT PICTURES OF MUTILATED BODIES IN IRAQ)
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
More Cobombing
Steve the Pirate Says:
May 9th, 2006 at 4:37 am
I knew I smelled fire, brimstone, and patchouli in here.
Welcome back, Chuckles, you sorry sack of shi’ite.
Chuckles Says:
May 10th, 2006 at 12:51 pm
True honesty from Peeve: a racial slur. Nice. That displays the content of your character better than a thousand posts ever could.
By the way, I use Old Spice: Fresh Patchouli Scent. Your mom tells me it is her favorite cologne.
(SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG)
May 9th, 2006 at 4:37 am
I knew I smelled fire, brimstone, and patchouli in here.
Welcome back, Chuckles, you sorry sack of shi’ite.
Chuckles Says:
May 10th, 2006 at 12:51 pm
True honesty from Peeve: a racial slur. Nice. That displays the content of your character better than a thousand posts ever could.
By the way, I use Old Spice: Fresh Patchouli Scent. Your mom tells me it is her favorite cologne.
(SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG AND STEVE THE PIRATE IS A DONKEY RAPING, SHIT SNIFFING, CHUNDER BAG)
Cobombing
I was cruising the archives at Diesel Sweeties because I haven't been reading it for the last year or so and I saw this gem. He's a quality guy. He fucks and eats dead people, but he's a quality guy. And the essence of our national problem. And the reason why I haven't yet destroyed the world. This sort of thing only happens to me once in a while. Whereas this conversion happened a long time ago.
Oh and:
(SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG)
Oh and:
(SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT SWOLLEN COBAG)
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Tarantula Tuesday: Delicious or Disgusting
In lieu of posting anything about my tarantula, I am going to expound on the joys of chocolate and biscuits. Specifically:
Check out the nutrition information:
These things are really damn good. Giving one to a 2 year old kid also turns them into a villian from an old silent movie. They get long, thin moustaches. And they are so delightful to eat.
Verdict: Way better than a fistful of roasted crickets.
Check out the nutrition information:
These things are really damn good. Giving one to a 2 year old kid also turns them into a villian from an old silent movie. They get long, thin moustaches. And they are so delightful to eat.
Verdict: Way better than a fistful of roasted crickets.
Don't Mind Me, Real Post In a Few Minutes
Just to get this out of the way for today...
(SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG)
(SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG) (SEANS IS A GIANT COBAG)
Monday, May 08, 2006
More on Morons
Sadly, shootaliberal is gone from Blogger. The site is still up, but they aren't active with it anymore. This kind of sucks because those dudes were outrageously stupid at times, insipid and crude at others but mostly, completely clueless. Their new site (COBAGZ ARE US)is more of the old crap: cut and paste jobs and the three or four contributors fighting a lone liberal trolling for kicks.
I almost miss them. I left a few comments, but will probably be banned soon enough. Just to rub it in:
(WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ)
I almost miss them. I left a few comments, but will probably be banned soon enough. Just to rub it in:
(WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ) (WE ARE COBAGZ)
Even More Cobombing
COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ COBAGZ
Friday, May 05, 2006
China Mieville is awesome in a similar way that Neal Stephenson is awesome
I have read Perdido Street Sation, The Scar and The Iron Council. I just read his short story on the mean streets of London and other stories. I would like to read King Rat and his book of short stories as well. I have written about him before, but everytime I see something by him, I think, man I am so cool that I read all this before anybody.
By the way, fulsome totally owed me for Neal Stephenson. I kept pushing Snow Crash on him in college and he finally read it. He recently repaid that debt. In November. He knows of that which I type. Now, he just needs to figure out a way to balance the debt from the radness that is China Mieville.
By the way, has everybody read The Big U by Stephenson? You should check that out from your local library. If they don't have it scream until teh l4m3 orders it for your library.
By the way, fulsome totally owed me for Neal Stephenson. I kept pushing Snow Crash on him in college and he finally read it. He recently repaid that debt. In November. He knows of that which I type. Now, he just needs to figure out a way to balance the debt from the radness that is China Mieville.
By the way, has everybody read The Big U by Stephenson? You should check that out from your local library. If they don't have it scream until teh l4m3 orders it for your library.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Obligatory Immigration Post
I was thinking about this whole immigration problem because it bugs me in some way that remained undefined until last night, while I was walking to a friend's house with a huge amount of tequila.*1 Whether you call them undocumented workers, illegal aliens, beaners or the whole host of slurs and slang words, the problem we all face today brilliantly outlines one of my favorite rant topics: Republicans are stupid.*2
Let's outline the situation. We have a large amount of people in our country without visas. We have a large number of companies that hire these people.*3 I have worked with a few of these non-visa holding people in a pizza restaurant. They got paid about the same amount as everyone else, until such time as the bosses would decide to blame them for whatever problems and cut their pay. I found this practice to be reprehensible and it is one of the reasons I left that job.*4 Basically, the company was paying them a tiny amount to do the same work as the citizens and visa holders. If that place could figure out a strategy to employ only illegals, then they would.*5 This is the core of the problem with our immigration policies today.
Companies hire illegal immigrants and do this knowing that they are also breaking the law. We have two entities breaking the law in this problem. The border jumpers and the deceitful companies.
If the 10+ million illegals couldn't find work because our worker documentation laws were rigidly enforced, I think the problem would never have developed into the situation that it is today. This is a useless line of thought, however, as the problem does exist and we do not have the means to deport all of these people.
Perhaps we can work proactively to change the trend by actually prosecuting companies that hire illegals and deporting those found, but we still have a massive population of people to deport. Let's give everyone 30 days to file papers at district courts and call a giant do-over. Let's have tighter borders. Let's prosecute the hell out of companies that hire illegals. Let's have controlled immigration. Above all, let's have immigration.
Let's also refuse to elect any more people that claim that the free market will supply everyone with benefits and appropriate pay. This is the root cause of our current problem. Americans don't want to work for $5.75 an hour for 20, 40 or 80 hours a week with no benefits. I am sure that even with benefits no one wants to work 80 hours a week for that little. Regulation of a higher minimum wage and mandatory benefits stifles the free market and creates a stagnant economy.*6 This is a conservative lie. If we let the corporation run even as free as we have let them run for the last 20 years, they will rob and cheat until we are all blind, deaf and muzzled. These corporations, large and small, claim they couldn't find Americans and documented workers to fill these positions. They are absolutely right. Of course, they aren't saying that they would rather die than offer more money and benefits to their lowest rung positions. They aren't saying that they could offer even less money to illegals and still get the job done the way they want. Conservatives are dead wrong about their free market bullshit. Corporate America was given an opportunity to prove that the conservative way was better. They chose to break the law to save money. Conservatives can not be trusted to run this country.
*1 Clearly, I hate America or else I would have brought bourbon.
*2 Stay with me, folks. I swear this will be good.
*3 Specifically, the entire restaurant industry.
*4 Sadly, I was a shitty liberal and it was not the sole reason I left that job.
*5 Incidentally, the owners vote Republican in every election and are screamingly proud of this aspect of their assholeness.
*6 So says Canuck.
Let's outline the situation. We have a large amount of people in our country without visas. We have a large number of companies that hire these people.*3 I have worked with a few of these non-visa holding people in a pizza restaurant. They got paid about the same amount as everyone else, until such time as the bosses would decide to blame them for whatever problems and cut their pay. I found this practice to be reprehensible and it is one of the reasons I left that job.*4 Basically, the company was paying them a tiny amount to do the same work as the citizens and visa holders. If that place could figure out a strategy to employ only illegals, then they would.*5 This is the core of the problem with our immigration policies today.
Companies hire illegal immigrants and do this knowing that they are also breaking the law. We have two entities breaking the law in this problem. The border jumpers and the deceitful companies.
If the 10+ million illegals couldn't find work because our worker documentation laws were rigidly enforced, I think the problem would never have developed into the situation that it is today. This is a useless line of thought, however, as the problem does exist and we do not have the means to deport all of these people.
Perhaps we can work proactively to change the trend by actually prosecuting companies that hire illegals and deporting those found, but we still have a massive population of people to deport. Let's give everyone 30 days to file papers at district courts and call a giant do-over. Let's have tighter borders. Let's prosecute the hell out of companies that hire illegals. Let's have controlled immigration. Above all, let's have immigration.
Let's also refuse to elect any more people that claim that the free market will supply everyone with benefits and appropriate pay. This is the root cause of our current problem. Americans don't want to work for $5.75 an hour for 20, 40 or 80 hours a week with no benefits. I am sure that even with benefits no one wants to work 80 hours a week for that little. Regulation of a higher minimum wage and mandatory benefits stifles the free market and creates a stagnant economy.*6 This is a conservative lie. If we let the corporation run even as free as we have let them run for the last 20 years, they will rob and cheat until we are all blind, deaf and muzzled. These corporations, large and small, claim they couldn't find Americans and documented workers to fill these positions. They are absolutely right. Of course, they aren't saying that they would rather die than offer more money and benefits to their lowest rung positions. They aren't saying that they could offer even less money to illegals and still get the job done the way they want. Conservatives are dead wrong about their free market bullshit. Corporate America was given an opportunity to prove that the conservative way was better. They chose to break the law to save money. Conservatives can not be trusted to run this country.
*1 Clearly, I hate America or else I would have brought bourbon.
*2 Stay with me, folks. I swear this will be good.
*3 Specifically, the entire restaurant industry.
*4 Sadly, I was a shitty liberal and it was not the sole reason I left that job.
*5 Incidentally, the owners vote Republican in every election and are screamingly proud of this aspect of their assholeness.
*6 So says Canuck.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
A Scary Email
So this email showed up in my gmail inbox:
To the law officers of the DC Metro Police Department:
Herein it is stated that these signs are a reflection of my utter distate for the situation we are facing. The media will not perform investigative reporting and is effectively silenced. The Bush administration increases the erosion of our civil rights. To say that I am angry, furious or even ferocious is an understatement. I will never condone violence nor the destruction of property but I can not allow the plans of the current regime to go unchallenged.
The consolidation of all media channels under an umbrella corporation stifles the free flow of the people's news. If we can not trust our media to deliver the truth and be our voice, can we truly trust our own opinions? History shows us that a free, investigative press is one of the best checks of autocracy. We must have our voice returned!
A FREE PRESS NOW!
Calling Bush a war criminal falls on deaf ears as do the following titles: law breaker, oath breaker, liar, cheat and dangerously incompetent. The last two national elections will forever be known as the elections no one is certain were fair. Bush and Company will kill us all if necessary because Bush insanely believes he is some sort of messiah. We must have a transparent but anonymous system of voting and sane government.
NO MORE MESSIAHS!
In America, we are no longer free. In America, we are no longer brave. We live huddled in fear and are arrested when we exercise our rights granted under the Constitution. I will not stop proclaiming the true nature all over the city.
Signed -
THE COBAGITATOR
I am not really sure how to take this. The Cobagitator has clearly stolen my idea for a rampant sign campaign. I am still planning on posting signs, but apparently this person was not satisfied with my delayed schedule.
To the law officers of the DC Metro Police Department:
Herein it is stated that these signs are a reflection of my utter distate for the situation we are facing. The media will not perform investigative reporting and is effectively silenced. The Bush administration increases the erosion of our civil rights. To say that I am angry, furious or even ferocious is an understatement. I will never condone violence nor the destruction of property but I can not allow the plans of the current regime to go unchallenged.
The consolidation of all media channels under an umbrella corporation stifles the free flow of the people's news. If we can not trust our media to deliver the truth and be our voice, can we truly trust our own opinions? History shows us that a free, investigative press is one of the best checks of autocracy. We must have our voice returned!
A FREE PRESS NOW!
Calling Bush a war criminal falls on deaf ears as do the following titles: law breaker, oath breaker, liar, cheat and dangerously incompetent. The last two national elections will forever be known as the elections no one is certain were fair. Bush and Company will kill us all if necessary because Bush insanely believes he is some sort of messiah. We must have a transparent but anonymous system of voting and sane government.
NO MORE MESSIAHS!
In America, we are no longer free. In America, we are no longer brave. We live huddled in fear and are arrested when we exercise our rights granted under the Constitution. I will not stop proclaiming the true nature all over the city.
Signed -
THE COBAGITATOR
I am not really sure how to take this. The Cobagitator has clearly stolen my idea for a rampant sign campaign. I am still planning on posting signs, but apparently this person was not satisfied with my delayed schedule.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Uh, well, see the thing is...
I still don't have an interweb connection at home. All my creative and funny ideas for blog posts get shunted into my dreams and we all know what Freud says about dreams. The thing about my dreams is that they aren't even wish fulfillment. I know this because I read the sidebar about how Freud is still wrong in an article about neuroscience and its recent discoveries and how Freud was more than a little right. Last night, I dreamed I was having dinner with some people I didn't know and I was really funny and they all said I should go into stand-up, so I stood up and said that I should really be blogging this. I walked away to go to the bathroom and I had to wrestle a bear just to go whizz in some bathroom that was not the bathroom of the restaurant that I had been in previously. So the real questions remain, who is right about dreams and why do I want to wrestle bears?*1
The answer to the first part is actually easier than most think. Dreams are representations of the unconscious wishes of the id that have yet to be acknowledged or fulfilled by the ego in the minds of the little fairies and pixies that live in the upper right, rear hemisphere of our brains, just outside of the occipital lobe. It really has nothing to do with me at all. Those frigging pixies apparently want to go back to their nihilistic days of waiting tables in a pizza house and spend their nights drinking and picking fights with bears and Navy S.E.A.L.S.*2 In the meantime, they sit up in my brain and they don't really contribute anything or pay rent. I wouldn't mind it so much if they would have unfulfilled desires of their days spent wandering the grounds of Playboy Mansion West, but that is a story for another paragraph.
This is that other paragraph. The real root of any dream of such nature is actually a human desire of all chests, male or female. There are some chests that simply yearn to be free and unencumbered by clothing or restrictive underwire. Some of these can be seen on Thursdays and some of these are seen every morning in the mirror. My chest is getting to that point, what with all the pushups and caveman gardening.*3 The only remaining barrier is my stomach which is still deathly allergic to sunlight. Regardless, some chests just make the world a better place by being seen at every opportunity. Think of the implications for world peace and the nuclear talks. Toss a couple of topless hotties of both genders into the mix and suddenly everybody is agreeing to pretty much anything.*4 This is very similar to the Bonobo Corollary of Human Evolution. The gist of this corollary is that if we were evolved from bonobos, C-Span would resemble the Spice Channel in no small way.
But I digress. I have no desire to wrestle bears. I saw that documentary about the guy who tried to create a grizzly proof suit. That was awesome. What a loon. Oh and they would rip my freaking head off and shit down my neck. Which might be preferable to those frigging pixie fairies polluting my sleepy time with visions of anything but bare chests. What a ripoff.
By the way, this is pretty much what happens when you open up a can of chuckles. The stuff gets everywhere. Rather like Stephen Colbert's Formula 401 or whatever.
*1 Blah blah, the real real question is: why do I hate America?
*2 That is actually true and I am seriously lucky to be alive.
*3 Quite possibly, the best way to garden ever.
*4 Although, I am fairly certain Hugh Hefner would quickly become a nuclear power.
The answer to the first part is actually easier than most think. Dreams are representations of the unconscious wishes of the id that have yet to be acknowledged or fulfilled by the ego in the minds of the little fairies and pixies that live in the upper right, rear hemisphere of our brains, just outside of the occipital lobe. It really has nothing to do with me at all. Those frigging pixies apparently want to go back to their nihilistic days of waiting tables in a pizza house and spend their nights drinking and picking fights with bears and Navy S.E.A.L.S.*2 In the meantime, they sit up in my brain and they don't really contribute anything or pay rent. I wouldn't mind it so much if they would have unfulfilled desires of their days spent wandering the grounds of Playboy Mansion West, but that is a story for another paragraph.
This is that other paragraph. The real root of any dream of such nature is actually a human desire of all chests, male or female. There are some chests that simply yearn to be free and unencumbered by clothing or restrictive underwire. Some of these can be seen on Thursdays and some of these are seen every morning in the mirror. My chest is getting to that point, what with all the pushups and caveman gardening.*3 The only remaining barrier is my stomach which is still deathly allergic to sunlight. Regardless, some chests just make the world a better place by being seen at every opportunity. Think of the implications for world peace and the nuclear talks. Toss a couple of topless hotties of both genders into the mix and suddenly everybody is agreeing to pretty much anything.*4 This is very similar to the Bonobo Corollary of Human Evolution. The gist of this corollary is that if we were evolved from bonobos, C-Span would resemble the Spice Channel in no small way.
But I digress. I have no desire to wrestle bears. I saw that documentary about the guy who tried to create a grizzly proof suit. That was awesome. What a loon. Oh and they would rip my freaking head off and shit down my neck. Which might be preferable to those frigging pixie fairies polluting my sleepy time with visions of anything but bare chests. What a ripoff.
By the way, this is pretty much what happens when you open up a can of chuckles. The stuff gets everywhere. Rather like Stephen Colbert's Formula 401 or whatever.
*1 Blah blah, the real real question is: why do I hate America?
*2 That is actually true and I am seriously lucky to be alive.
*3 Quite possibly, the best way to garden ever.
*4 Although, I am fairly certain Hugh Hefner would quickly become a nuclear power.
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