Monday, January 30, 2006

Which Celebrity Shall We Hate Next?

Well, with all the hilarious hating of Tom Cruise also known as the New Michael Jackson, I have been taking names for our next nationally hated celebrity. Who shall we hate next? I was thinking Will Smith at first, but then I decided that others may have a different opinion and that this could be even funnier with other people's input. So, in the spirit of the uber-democracy of teh internets, why don't my two readers list their suggestions and at least one decent reason to hate their suggested celebrity. We'll start with celebrities of music and movies first, because they are pretty universally odd. If you have to explain who the person is, they don't count. (Just to prevent all you Amitabh Bachchan haters from exploiting my site.)

Newest Hated Celebrity: Will Smith
Reason(s): Hitch, The Legend of Bagger Vance, Wild Wild West, Men In Black 1&2. In addition, we shall hate Will Smith for having the pull and influence to make decent, challenging movies and choosing to star in Shark Tale. Whatever happened to the Will Smith from Six Degrees of Separation?

Other celebrities I was tossing around: Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg. I think Spielberg is a little too easy.

41 comments:

teh l4m3 said...

Ben Affleck: for Paycheck, Pearl Harbor, Daredevil, and a general, highly offensive inability to act, or even to keep his tawdry personal life out of Entertainment Weekly. Has the least charismatic smile of any several-million-per-picture celeb. Is probably getting his salad tossed by Matt Damon as I type this.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I am all over Angelina Jolie. As a public health expert (OK, not yet, but I will be awarded this title in October), I want that woman out of Africa on the first plane.

For men, Mel Gibson can go away. This needs no explanation. He just needs to go AWAY!

Another celeb I can do without is Kate Hudson. She, like Bush, rode the coat tails of Mommy and Poppie and pisses all over her American supporters on a regular basis.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I double hearted Mattie D. until he knocked up his girlfriend while cheating on me.

Bitch!

Chuckles said...

Ben Affleck: I thought we already hated him? The nation is not yet ready to hate Ben Affleck yet. Although, I also doubt the nation is ready to hate Will Smith.

Mel Gibson: Maybe, but I need some more evidence. Give me a good reason to hate him.

Angelina Jolie is almost too easy. I really think she is on a crusade to adopt your (according to Canuck) aborted fetuses, AG.

Kate Hudson? What has she done that is hate worthy?

Matt Damon: I have been hating him since, well, he showed up. The Talented Mr. Ripley was pretty good, but I think that is mostly due to the phenomenal acting of everybody but Matt Damon. I think he is at his best best as a stoic, zombiefied assasin in the Bourne movies.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Kate Hudson made this heinous comment while on location a few years ago in Paris mocking Americans and how they say "catsup". Like, she is from Mauritis or something and can find it on a map! She is an annoying spoiled little brat.


Melvin:

"There is no salvation for those outside the Church…I believe it."
The New Yorker, September 15, 2003

The guy is a closeted Anti-Semitic a-wipe! No PR campagin is changing me on that one.

I would totally give my aborted fetus to Jolie if I wasn't planning on feeding it to the dingos.

Chuckles said...

So she's a nitwit. I am not convinced yet. I am still leaning towards Ben Affleck, but he has never been good and doesn't seem to quite fit the bill as a replacement for Tom Cruise. It seems to me that most of Affleck's movies have bombed: Daredevil, Reideer Games, Surviving Christmas, Paycheck (ok, but not great) and Pearl Harbor being the most notorius of bombs.

Kate Hudson also doesn't have the sheer publicity required to really fufill as an object of hate. She doesn't have the size paycheck required. Part of this survey is to find people who can pull the money from moviegoers to make whatever movie they want, but still choose to star in crap. For example, Tom Cruise.

I think I may have to officially vote for Tom Hanks even though Saving Private Ryan was predictable but still amazing. My reason: The Da Vinci code, The Terminal, Cast Away.

Who the hell is Melvin? If I don't know them, then they aren't eligible.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Melvin = Mel Gibson.

:0

I am too tired and too busy today to make much sense.

Chuckles said...

So far, I think we have a tie between Will Smith and Mel G. Can anybody supply evidence that Mel can act in anything but an action movie? Has he ever been stirring and emotional? And leave Braveheart out of this, because Mel was totally carried by the supporting cast. I am looking for a stellar performance by these nominations that shows that they can act, but choose not to. Hilary Swank is not eligible because she mixes her good and bad movies and doesn't have the draw yet.

AG: You do know that semitic does not specifically refer to Jews or judaism, right? It refers to a language group that includes Arabic, Amharic and Aramaic. Although, given the similarities between Judaism and Islam, it is a hard argument to make.

fulsome said...

Mel Gibson is tricky because of Passion of the Christ. So now "we" all hate him but he is beloved by people who think we hate him because of that movie. No, he's just dumb.

Ben Affleck is hated but the loop turned too quickly.

I'm about ready to turn on Harrison Ford. I thought he was set for life but he keeps making horrible movies and enticing people to see them because they think he'll be alright. Seriously, has he made a decent movie since IJ III, and that was good because of Sean.

Jolie seems possible. Hanks is borderline. Damon is still alright in my book.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Hmmm...let's see if we can get UC involved in this. He reads Entertainment Weekly and is up-to-date on who to truly abominate.

teh l4m3 said...

Well Chuckles if you hate Matt D, you have to hate Ben A -- they're a pair, like tacky, seemingly mis-matched new wave earrings.

The Uncanny Canadian said...

I'm with AG on the Mel Gibson hating. Even worse than his latest inane films and blatant antisemitism is his interest in making a movie about the holocaust.

Chuckles, semite is a difficult term. Technically, it refers to being descended from Shem, one of Noah's sons, which if you think about it should include everyone of Jewish, Christian, or Muslim faith. The usage of being a semitic people is pretty much how you described it, based on etymology. However, the term anti-semite is exclusively used to define hatred against Jews. Just like how being an anti-dentite is a hatred of dentists, but not necessarily teeth.

Chuckles said...

Actually, I completely forgot about Harrison Ford. He used to make really good movies, Where Eagles Dare for instance, but lately it has been all crap. Although Hollywood Homicide was amusing, it was not a worthy performance.

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck aren't really in the money because they have never been good. Of course, Tom Cruise was only good in one movie, Magnolia. Mel G also suffers from this problem. He has never made an outstanding performance. He has no Unforgivens, no Million Dollar Babies, no Sideways and certainly no Gods and Monsters or LotRs.

Angelina Jolie was good but now only chooses roles that she can phone in. Thus, she is a serious contender. That and she seems to be adopting every lost puppy/man/child she finds. Soon, she'll rival George Lucas for the number of adopted marketing consultants, I mean children.

We are forgetting two crucial American actors: Dennis Quaid and Denzel Washington. In Good Company, Glory, Savior, etc. These two have some really good movies but consistently star in crapfests. I think Quaid is off the hook, however, due to his periodic returns to good.

As an aside Monica Belluci is a sort of poor man's Jolie, except hotter and better at choosing roles, except of late.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I hate teeth. What does that make me?

Chuckles said...

Somebody who doesn't want to color within the easily broadly defined categor.

Chuckles said...

I think Israel is a state the US should stop supporting until they abide by our weapons agreements. I think Judaism is a fine religion, as fine as any other, but Israel behaves atrociously and does not deserve our support. What does that make me?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Oh no he didn't! I am not saying a word. Not a word.

Standing back.

Waiting for the UC head to explode.

Explode into a million tiny pieces.

teh l4m3 said...

Don't diss the Quaid. Don't go there. He my boo.

Adorable Girlfriend said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Adorable Girlfriend said...

Your boo? What does this mean?

Chuckles said...

You got me straight trippin' boo.

Although, in teh's view, it may just be: you got me trippin' boo.

We can discuss the difference between Israel and Judaism in another post, AG. Speaking out against their policies and boneheaded politics is not an attack on Judaism. It is a fine line but I am not coming anywhere near it.

fulsome said...

I still think we're looking for a person that no only we can hate (a la Mel Gibson) but that every person who picks up a TV guide will go, "gawd, why does (s)he still get to make movies?"

I still like my suggestion of Harrison Ford, will accept Angelina Jolie or Gwenyth Paltrow, and think Ben Affleck is probably already there otherwise I would agree with teh.

Lindsey said...

NO NO NON NO...I love Will Smith...hate on Tom all you want but Will is a cool guy. Come on...Please....

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I got you Chuckles. UC was kind of annoyed about it. It would be nice to review a post on it to better understand where you are coming from.

Sean Penn or Jim Carey, I don't personally have much dirt on, but I hate both of them because they are not talents.

Chuckles said...

Sean Penn is already reviled for his self righteous ass head behaviour and his general alck of skillz. Jim Carrey is not even in the running, he hasn't been good enough or in the limelight with his personal quirks. He still has a long wya to go before he burns through his In Living Color cred.

Gwyneth Paltrow is a definite possibility for the baby shit, Angelina because all of her life is public and she hasn't put any effort into anything but looking good, however she does try to help people so she is not quite universally deserving of hate. Harrison Ford, however it pains me to say may be our best candidate.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

What about Paris Hilton? Come now. Paris takes the cake.

teh l4m3 said...

"He still has a long wya to go before he burns through his In Living Color cred."

You really are too generous. How about Russell Crowe, for being such a pissy fucking diva bitch?

Chuckles said...

Well, Russell has always sucked and Paris Hilton has never been anything but a media whore. If she wanted a movie made, she could pay for it herself. You are missing the entire point of this exercise AG. This isn't indescriminate hate, it is hate for people that deserve it based on the fact that they were once good and have been deliberately sucking and whoring for news outlets.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Fine Chuckles. What about that bitch Jane Fonda or that prick Robert Downey Jr? How about Drew Barrymore, the media whore herself? Have you forgotten about Michael Jackson or Prince? Manilli Vanilli. OK, he was never any talent. So scratch him. All of these clowns should be put in a sexual jail for the insane and may the best man or woman win that tug-o-war.

Let us not forget Ellen Degeneres, Tony Danza or Anne Heche as a cast of winners. What about Phil Donahue or Todd Bridges? Dana Plato and Bert and Loni are just as guilty.

I got a loaded mind today of celebs who smell like crotch rot and eat dingos.

Chuckles said...

Once again, AG, you name a whole host of peope I don't really like but have never been good. This isn't about just hating any old celebrities, that will come later, this is all about finding a new person to hate in addition to Tom Cruise. Basically, the goal is to be cool by hating someone before everyone else hates them. The qualifications for our new hate were fairly simple:
1. Previously good performances.
2. Currently massive box office draws.
3. Refuses to use influence and previous skill to make good movies with challenging roles.

You seem to really suck at painting within the lines, today.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

It's true. I am too caught up on the shit that has yet to be finished, let alone start disliking new people.

Sorry for that!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Actually, I am not sorry for that. I dislike what I dislike. If it takes a while to get it out of my system, oh well!

Girl parts at RoD, baby!

Chuckles said...

I am not saying you can't dislike those people, I am merely stating that they are unsuitable candidates for thise position. This is the Supreme Court of hating and you are nominating a whole bunch of Harriet Miers.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I know. What I am saying is that I cannot play the way you want me to. I am giving you a laugh or two and that's my input. UC would have given you some material had you not been hating the Jews and Israel yesterday. (Those are his words, not mine).

Chuckles said...

Yeah, except for the fact that I was hating neither. He is confusing the issue and totally wrong.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I am staying out of this one. You should totally post on Israel and engage him in conversation. He's lived in Israel and has some really keen viewpoints on the diaspora.

teh l4m3 said...

Jane Fonda was good in Klute; after all, she was playing a hooker.

Chuckles said...

So she had first hand experience to lead her performance? Is that what you're saying?

rumraket said...

I do hate Will Smith but that's more because he is constantly being casted for serious roles despite the fact that he seems incapable of losing that "ghetto" accent everyone apparently finds so endearing.

How about Dennis Hopper? Good, solid actor who has starred in a load of shit in recent years for no reason whatsoever, including horrendous "mismatched people forced to work together" comedies.

Anonymous said...

If you insult Will Smith, you're an idiot. Absolute idiot. If I could I would personally punch you in the mouth.

Anonymous said...

I hate Will Smith because he sucks at everything he attempts, but still manages to make shit loads of money and have everyone love him regardless of his massive suckness.