Seven things to do before I die:
1. Sell a screenplay and make an awesome movie.
2. Sell a screenplay and make an Uwe Boll (suck ass) type movie
3. Conquer a small island nation. (Like the UC's)
4. Play an instrument so fine that chicks throw me their money.
5. Make a theremin.
6. Become a lawyer and sue the shit out of some asshole that really deserves it, like GWB, and give the money to create a public stem cell research grant.
7. Go hiking in the Carpathian Alps with an unlimited budget of both time and money.
Seven things I cannot do:
1. Use crayons or markers effectively. (I am very colorblind.)
2. Tolerate ignorance. (I am very smart and learned.)
3. Shut up when drunk.
4. Shut up when bored.
5. Shut up at all.
6. Get my point across in thirty seconds or less. (See Numbers 3, 4, 5.)
7. Give up.
Seven things I say most often:
1. Cobag. (I say this all the freaking time now, even to non-blog people.)
2. Bush is a cobag.
3. Bush allowed the attacks to happen.
4. I'm serious.
5. I'm fine.
6. I'm not angry.
7. No, really, I'm not angry, it's just my eyebrows that hate this conversation.
Seven books I love:
1. Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson
2. Perdido Street Station - China Mieville
3. Earth Abides - George R. Stewart
4. The Complete Works of Plato - Plato (duh.)
5. Starship Troopers - Robert Heinlein
6. Nine Stories - J.D. Salinger
7. Cathedral - Raymond Carver (How's that for a pretentious list?)
Seven movies I watch over and over:
1. Lord of the Rings (How original of me.)
2. Swimming Pool (Oh yeah, that's right, it's awesome.)
3. The Quiet Earth (Best Ever Australian Movie Featuring the End of the World, Maybe)
4. Deep Rising (Best Ever Shotgun Drive-By On a Skidoo in a Treat Williams Movie)
5. Orgazmo (Best Ever Fake Porno Movie Starring More Porn Than Non-Porn Actors)
6. Animal House (Best Ever, um, Ever?)
7. Casablanca (Best Ever Movie With A Still-Debated Sex or No Sex Scene)
Seven songs I play over and over again:
1. Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash
2. Get Rythym - Johnny Cash
3. Sunday Morning Coming Down - Johnny Cash
4. The Wanderer - Johnny Cash/U2
5. The Man Comes Around - Johnny Cash
6. Hurt - Johnny Cash (If anybody has a problem with this, please address my anus.)
7. is it alright? - The Lovemakers (Screw you, Pinko! These people are good.)
Seven things that attract me to ..... blogging:
1. I can just keep posting and pretending people read it.
2. Sometimes I even post original crap.
3. The word cobag.
4. The voices can all get a chance to talk and you all think I am one person.
5. Indulging my ego. (Have you seen the name of my blog?)
6. No matter what I write, it will never change anything.
7. People think that blogs affect real life. (What a bunch of morons. Politicians are not going to read these and tremble unless you have 6,000,000 hits a day.)
Seven people that I want to join in too:
Everyone I know has already been hit. So, I guess that's that. And Friday the 13th is coming up. I'm boned.