Thursday, January 12, 2006

Seven things to do before I die:

1. Sell a screenplay and make an awesome movie.
2. Sell a screenplay and make an Uwe Boll (suck ass) type movie
3. Conquer a small island nation. (Like the UC's)
4. Play an instrument so fine that chicks throw me their money.
5. Make a theremin.
6. Become a lawyer and sue the shit out of some asshole that really deserves it, like GWB, and give the money to create a public stem cell research grant.
7. Go hiking in the Carpathian Alps with an unlimited budget of both time and money.

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Use crayons or markers effectively. (I am very colorblind.)
2. Tolerate ignorance. (I am very smart and learned.)
3. Shut up when drunk.
4. Shut up when bored.
5. Shut up at all.
6. Get my point across in thirty seconds or less. (See Numbers 3, 4, 5.)
7. Give up.

Seven things I say most often:

1. Cobag. (I say this all the freaking time now, even to non-blog people.)
2. Bush is a cobag.
3. Bush allowed the attacks to happen.
4. I'm serious.
5. I'm fine.
6. I'm not angry.
7. No, really, I'm not angry, it's just my eyebrows that hate this conversation.

Seven books I love:

1. Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson
2. Perdido Street Station - China Mieville
3. Earth Abides - George R. Stewart
4. The Complete Works of Plato - Plato (duh.)
5. Starship Troopers - Robert Heinlein
6. Nine Stories - J.D. Salinger
7. Cathedral - Raymond Carver (How's that for a pretentious list?)

Seven movies I watch over and over:

1. Lord of the Rings (How original of me.)
2. Swimming Pool (Oh yeah, that's right, it's awesome.)
3. The Quiet Earth (Best Ever Australian Movie Featuring the End of the World, Maybe)
4. Deep Rising (Best Ever Shotgun Drive-By On a Skidoo in a Treat Williams Movie)
5. Orgazmo (Best Ever Fake Porno Movie Starring More Porn Than Non-Porn Actors)
6. Animal House (Best Ever, um, Ever?)
7. Casablanca (Best Ever Movie With A Still-Debated Sex or No Sex Scene)

Seven songs I play over and over again:

1. Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash
2. Get Rythym - Johnny Cash
3. Sunday Morning Coming Down - Johnny Cash
4. The Wanderer - Johnny Cash/U2
5. The Man Comes Around - Johnny Cash
6. Hurt - Johnny Cash (If anybody has a problem with this, please address my anus.)
7. is it alright? - The Lovemakers (Screw you, Pinko! These people are good.)

Seven things that attract me to ..... blogging:

1. I can just keep posting and pretending people read it.
2. Sometimes I even post original crap.
3. The word cobag.
4. The voices can all get a chance to talk and you all think I am one person.
5. Indulging my ego. (Have you seen the name of my blog?)
6. No matter what I write, it will never change anything.
7. People think that blogs affect real life. (What a bunch of morons. Politicians are not going to read these and tremble unless you have 6,000,000 hits a day.)

Seven people that I want to join in too:

Everyone I know has already been hit. So, I guess that's that. And Friday the 13th is coming up. I'm boned.


teh l4m3 said...

Seven things that attract me to blogging...

Chuckles, I'm disappointed that you didn't answer, "Something to do while waiting for midget bukkake mpegs to download." I expected less from you, mister.

Leah said...

I just read Nine Stories by J.D. Salinger in December and I agree with you it is great. However, I always perfer short stories, you know short attention span, so I am sure I am bias.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

And what this little cutie is not worth the blogging experience?

Chuckles said...

Uhh, baby, you know I lurve you...

Chuckles said...

teh: I thought that it was understood that porn was a major factor in my blogging. I may not mention it, but just like Bush, you have to look for what I am not saying.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Whew, I was worried.

I knew that blogging was about mistah Chuck's porn fetish. We all know it's about that and his Secret Blog Lover, Der Commisar.

teh l4m3 said...

Eww ... not so much the love that dare not speak its name, as the love that smells like rancid bacon.

Chuckles said...

Umm, Der Commisar won't return my calls. Does that mean he is done with me?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

It means your meat package didn't satisfy him.

Chuckles said...

My meat package is more than he can handle. He is a conservative and they squeeze everyone for everything. Der Commie's ass plus coal equals diamonds, for which he will then charge you exorbitant rates.

Why are we even discussing this bizzaro alternate reality?

I think AG likes to watch teh h0t m4n 0n m4n 4ct10n.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

No my dear. I have been up front and honest about my love the girls. We share the same interest.

Chuckles said...

This is just getting weird. Call me old fashioned, but it seems totally odd to be discussing your tastes in porn like this. Shouldn't this be happening at a site like:

or something?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

You know, Brian would be all over this. He wouldn't be weirded out. I thought you were a liberal. Aren't liberals suppose be down with alternative lifestyles and choices?

Chuckles said...

Oh, I'm down, baby girl. Just not at work, is all.

The Chuck has standards of behavior.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

It's all about the free love baby. You cannot hide what you know is true at work. You gotta let it all hang out.