Saturday, August 25, 2007

Rules of Engagement

I have rules and guidelines for a lot of stuff in life. These guidelines have been generated over the years by my experiences doing stupid shit. I have three rules for drinking:

Never drink with the military.

Never drink with an eastern European.

Never drink jager.

I can break any one rule as long as I am willing to accept a night that won't be over until sometime after dawn and perhaps a bad hangover. If I break two of these rules, I must expect a night that ends in some form of incarceration. If I break three of these rules, I won't come out of it for days and have been known to redecorate an entire hotel room in a Jackson Pollock fashion with a different medium than paint.

Last night, I broke only one of these rules and ended the night by sleeping on my floor while my guests took my bed. It was almost dawn when we got home. I also left my license and credit card at the club...fuck.

6 comments:

mdhatter said...

I'll bet it was Jäger.

If you ever want a real treat, try Jäger in Moxie. Unforgettable.

Chuckles said...

The colors! The colors!

In my vomit.

Not this weekend but the last time I drank any jager.

Jennb said...

and don't forget, one 2:30am drunk dial to a close friend.:)

Snag said...

My last display of spectacularly bad judgment involved Jägerbombs and 2 for 1 beers. For reasons not worth going into, I had to appear on camera the next morning. I looked like a vampire's mug shot.

It was so worth it.

Mendacious D said...

My own drinking shenanigans usually involves mixing inadvisable things, like beer followed by wine followed by high-balls followed by more beer and interspersed with whiskey.

I think my liver's close to filing a restraining order.

Chuckles said...

Tequila triple shots and Guinness 18 ounce pint chasers. That was a rough morning.