Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I Have Been Against It With You For Longer Than You Know

Monday's Penny Arcade is spot on. I sympathize completely, as I have detailed before. Why anyone want a pet with even the possibility of developing this problem? The only thing Helob the Tarantula expresses is insatiable hunger. "Cricket snorkel" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.


Kathleen said...

if you are going to steal material from me, could you be less obvious about it? BUSTED!!

I call chuckles shenanigans

Jennifer said...

My dog, thank gawd, deals with his own...

I'll still take a pooch with anal glands over a SPIDER! Would Helob eat Ponce? He would, wouldn't he?? Especially if Ponce had just eaten a cricket. It would be like a turducken wouldn't it...

Chuckles said...

Kathleen, I have long since declared my fandom. I have linked these guys on at least one other post.

Helob has already claimed the life essnece of one of your pets, Jennifer. He has a hunger within greater than I on the best pork snorkel of the millenmium. Do not ask for whom the tarantula crawls, it crawls for thee.

billy pilgrim said...

jeez, I can leave this comment HERE, too!

"Leaving lepidoptera...Please, don't touch the display,
little boy, aha cute! Moving to the next aisle we have
arachnida, the spiders, our...finest collection.
This friendly little devil is the heptothilidi,
unfortunately harmless. Next to him, the nasty licosa
raptoria, his tiny fangs cause creeping ulcerations of
the skin (laugh). And here, my prize, the Black
Widow. Isn't she lovely?...And so deadly. Her kiss is
fifteen times as poisonous as that of the rattlesnake.
You see her venom is highly neurotoxic, which is to say
that it attacks the central nervous system causing
intense pain, profuse sweating, difficulty in
breathing, loss of consciousness, violent convulsions
and, finally...Death. You know what I think I love the
most about her is her inborn need to dominate,
possess. In fact, immediately after the consummation
of her marriage to the smaller and weaker male of the
species she kills and eats him...(laugh) oh, she is
delicious...And I hope he was! Such power and dignity
...unhampered by sentiment. If I may put forward a
slice of personal philosophy, I feel that man has ruled
this world as a stumbling dimented child-king long
enough! And as his empire crumbles, my precious Black
Widow shall rise as his most fitting successor!"

Jennb said...

Chucks - you aren't nearly as grossed out by anal glands as you say.

I have seen you in action.

Chuckles said...

You weren't supposed to say anything about that, Jenn. All of my other fake girlfriends read this blog. Now they all know. Thanks a fucking lot.