1. Nothing because he is rude and mean.
The Genius' Response: Fair enough, for you art a moron and art a bad gift giver.
2. Nothing because he never writes thank you letters.
TGR: Fair enough, for I am selfish and very bad at writing those who shower me with praise and/or gifts.
3. Petri dishes to be filled with urine to later be frozen.
TGR: I can never have enough petri dishes.
TGR: Truly is the one thing in the universe garaunteed to make you more attractive to the object of your desire.
TGR: Forget what I said about #4 and apply it here.
TGR: Back the hell off. I ain't no whiny emo.
TGR: Are you sure you know the receiver of this gift? I will only use it for evil. You were warned.
8. Contact information.
TGR: Meh, I could take it or leave it.
TGR: You stray into dangerous territory here, for I am picky and will cut you off if you screw this up. Julinopsis has unrestricted rights to give The Genius books due solely to her awesome taste and excellent track record with book oriented gifting.