Who's in the Kitchen With Genius?

I knew I had to cook something because Hallmark tells me so and because I said I would a few days ago. Unfortunately, I left the pork chops in the freezer this morning and had only three year old couscous and leftover curry in my fridge. I had no ideas for a meal and little time, but for some reason I had a hankering for wienerschnitzel. Veal is expensive, so I grabbed a pork loin roast that was less than ten dollars, flour, eggs, some salad fixings, and some frozen green beans.

I made the salad, threw the beans in some water to boil, and was flattening the chops I had sliced off the roast when she arrived. I mixed two eggs with a little soy milk because the knowing without knowing part of my brain said I should and I was pretty much operating entirely on that bizarre portion of my grey matter's unspoken and rarely heard advice. I think it may be the snake part of my brain and I don't think I am a parselmouth. If anything, I'm the spider whisperer.

I digress. I soaked the flattened pork slabs in the egg mixture and dropped them in the flour and spice mix. I made sure they were thickly coated and tossed the slabs in the hot olive oil. I cooked three schnitzels and then mixed the flour with the eggs and made a schnitzel-pancake. Pretty frigging good for a guy with no recipe and no prior experience cooking this.

The only odd thing about the night was the question, "Were you trying to make a dinner with my three favorite foods?" I have no idea what she was talking about, I wanted a schnitzel and some green beans. I was also desperate for a salad after three nights of curry and four days of bananas and honey on whole wheat bread. I hate bananas.

So yeah, the Tom Petty Was Right sign is hanging right next to the Homeric Ideal tabard.