Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Coffee Question

While making the office a pot of coffee this morning, I remembered something from my childhood. I was using both nozzles on the water cooler to fill the carafe. I had never thought about it before but assumed that it was faster than if I had only used one nozzle. I asked myself, "is this only a happy delusion or does the pot fill faster?" One of my brothers had once told me that using two straws in the same drink will not allow me to drink it any faster. I think I was around six or seven and believed everything they told me. Don't ask me about asparagus.

Is this true? I don't know. I haven't had my coffee yet.

In unrelated news, this is irritating.
The cultural and behavioral norms of virtual worlds and gaming are generally unstudied. Therefore, Reynard will seek to identify the emerging social, behavioral and cultural norms in virtual worlds and gaming environments. The project would then apply the lessons learned to determine the feasibility of automatically detecting suspicious behavior and actions in the virtual world.

I do have every confidence that this program will result in the largest brain melting yet experienced by government officials. Screaming Fist will look like a walk in the park after Project Reynard. I forsee agents wandering the halls of power, unshaven, unwashed, unsane, and constantly muttering "lol lulz wtf omgwtfbbqpwnd pwndpwndpwnd" until finally put down by the very institution that created them. Maybe added a caffeinated corn and milk solid to my coffee was not the best idea this morning. It isn't Tuesday.

In somewhat related news, I bought some books last week: Dark Heresy, 1984, and Brave New World. There is a further level of relation within all three that I found amusing. Some might even say it was subversively amusing.

UPDATE: The asparagus thing is unrelated to pee pee. I'll detail it tomorrow.

10 comments:

mdhatter said...

MMO Terra-ists? I'd me more concerned with the MMO pedo's.

Reynard? Maybe they're actually worried about the furries.

Von said...

So, YES - it does fill faster. I know this because I have to make two urns of coffee every week in trade for my german class, and I too use both. This is too funny that you wrote about it.

Mendacious D said...

It is time for Science!

The Uncanny Canadian said...

You can calculate the pressure exerted on the water at the spigot based on the depth of the cooler, calculate the volume of the nozzle, and see that it will go twice as fast by using two nozzles. In the same way, using two straws in the same drink will allow you to drink it faster provided that you apply the same force on the straw..

That said, the thing about asaparagus and the smelly urine is that a relatively high percentage of the population can't smell the oh so funky odour of alpha-aminodimethyl-gamma-butyrothetin. So you can really fuck with people over asparagus.

Chuckles said...

I think it is time for science that uses milkshakes! It works, bitches!

Also, how high is that percentage UC? I can smell it, but that is not what I am referring to in this post.

Regarding the straws, you are saying that as long as I provide equal suction to both straws, I will receive double the amount of juice/milkshake/soda/shutuprespublica, right?

Kathleen said...

the emerging social, behavioral and cultural norms in virtual worlds and gaming environments

overwhelming homophobia and sexism. So no different from the government.

The Uncanny Canadian said...

Chuckles, yes about the straws. The thing is that it is easy to half the pressure on each straw without realizing it, since you would have to work twice as hard otherwise adding a second straw. So you can probably trick someone into believing otherwise. And they're like, it's no faster than yours.

For the non-smelling numbers, I refer you to a review written by S. C. Mitchell in Drug Metabolism and Disposition:

What is evident is that there also appears to exist a specific hyposmia (hyposphresia) or anosmia, wherein certain individuals are unable to smell the odor even from the most fetid urines. The frequency of this condition within a population is high (277/307, 90%, 95% CI 87-94%, in an Israeli group, Lison et al., 1980; 74/98, 76%, 95% CI 67-84%, in a Chinese group, Hoffenberg, 1983), suggesting that a great number of people are unable to detect the asparagus-related odor. This predicament was shared equally between male and female subjects and did not appear to be age related. A later American study suggested that both phenomena coexist. These authors concluded that "some people are excretors while others are nonexcretors; some people are perceivers (able to smell the odor) while others are nonperceivers" (Sugarman and Neelon, 1985). Clearly, this complicated issue requires further detailed investigation.

So, surprisingly high in some populations. It's the hyposmia people that really fuck up all the numbers. I can assure you that I'm normosmic in this regard.

Snag said...

Damn hyposmiacs.

Chuckles said...

I wish I were one of those people that couldn't smell even the most fetid of urine. That would make my MetroBus experiences so much more pleasant. Although, I doubt I would get as much enjoyment out of smelling a rose or a clean baby if I didn't know the almost polar opposite.

Porterhouse said...

I'm sorry about the asparagus.

I would comment about the faucets/straws but I'm my credibility is zero on this because of previously misleading comments.