Scientists continue to lag behind in pornography storage capacity. In fact, leading UN scientists estimate that given the rate of porn production and current storage techniques, the world stands to lose an estimated 45 minutes of vintage pornographic 8mm and 16mm film by the year 2012.
"If we don't act now and take drastic steps to digitize those remaining 6 or 7 home videos from 1967, we could lose them forever," says Dr. Hugh Johnson, Chief Erotica Archivist of the Library of Congress, in an address at the AVN Awards. "As I'm sure we're all aware, the types of film used in the 60s and 70s becomes very brittle with age and must be handled delicately, rather like breast implants. The longer we wait, the likelihood increases that we will never be able to again enjoy those blurry and grainy images of hairy people humping on a shag carpet in a finished basement in Moosehead Neck, Wisconsin. We must secure funding to preserve all of our great nation's wonderful fucking history."
Dr. Johnson received the largest standing ovation at the entire conference.
10 comments:
I can't wait to see what people find when they open the time capsules being buried at this point in our nation's history.
They won't find much of anything after about 100 years or so. Digital storage is terrible if you want real longevity in a data storage medium. You are better served by carving stuff in rock.
I thought this was going to be a post about your apartment search.
That is one of the hidden jokes in this post, well done Kathleen.
Chuckles needs one of those vacuum bags that shrinks his porn down to manageable size.
Can you get smaller than the electron and still be able to vacuum it?
I think if Chuckles had one of those vacuums he wouldn't need the porn.
our great nation's wonderful fucking history
Classic.
I think if Chuckles had one of those vacuums
I think I have seen those.
fish, that is the reaction I was hoping everyone would have.
How the shit does that vacuum thing work without causing horrible bruising?
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