Thursday, January 11, 2007

An Update to the Tucker Situation

I have more disturbing news about the Tucker Situation. At this point in time, all I can say is that the lawyer/private detective is still digging around looking for me.

Anyone know a good lawyer who specializes in harassment cases in the District? I don't have any money at the moment, but I could eventually get some with help from friends and family. Please send emails with your legal suggestions to geniusblogs AT sluggy DOT net.

In Other News:
I am in a charity bachelor auction. The proceeds all go to V Day. Let's hope that Tucker's lawyer decides that this is the best way to contact me and bids a few grand to win a date with me in order to intimidate me instead of my friends.

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think that a good way to say I am sorry, from Tucker would be to bid on you in the auction. It would go to a good cause.

Chuckles said...

A good way for Tucker to say he's sorry, would be for him to say:

"I am sorry Chuckles for hassling you and getting you fired. I am sorry to your coworker for sending my goon out to hassle him/her. I am sorry video store for threatening you with legal action. I am sorry customers at the video store who had to listen to me yell at Chuckles."

That would be the way to say he's sorry.

Midniter said...

Can I bid on you online? I think it's time for Res to experience your massive wang.

Chuckles said...

Sure, but unles he is ready to fly me to Texas and bake me some cookies, I can't get to Texas.

It isn't like Carnegie Hall from what I hear.

antiprincess said...

I linked to this.

anyone who has ever had a job in the "service sector" will totally empathize.

how are you fixed for lawyers? how is that shaking out? do you have another job?

Chuckles said...

In terms of lawyers, I have no one as yet. I didn't think I would need one, once everyone in Left Blogonia took up the cause as they have, but now it appears that I need one.

I figured Tucker would just back off after looking foolish.

I do have another job.

antiprincess said...

well, I suppose looking foolish is the man's stock in trade...

Elmo said...

Jesus! What the hell, Tucker baby, you need to get a life.

It may not be much but I'll donate to your lawyer fund

Adorable Girlfriend said...

OK, here's a few things:

AG will bid on you and since AG has endless amounts of cash--she can win. However, you have to agree to go to dinner with AG in that number restaurant in Georgetown -- something 1694 or whatever it is, kiss UC with tongue at the end of the date and AG gets to post it on the blog.

Now should Midniter happen to win -- AG is willing to front the miles for Chuckles to go to Texas or Mr. Smith to go to Washington. AG has no problems with sharing her 200 million frequent flier miles for that.

teh l4m3 said...

Well in addition to the lawyer, since this is now clearly harassment, why not file a police report?

Chuckles said...

Why is AG pimping out her man?

As soon as I talk to a lawyer, I will do as that person advises. If that means filing a report, then so be it.

NotCarrie said...

At least you can feel good about the auction...Jeez...you're almost out of my financial league!

mdhatter said...

Ball Peen Hammer - APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD!!!

Ball Peen Hammer - APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD!!!

Ball Peen Hammer - APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD!!!

If I were Tucker "Clementine" Carlson I'd offer to make a 4 figure (4 if it keeps up) donation to Katrina relief as a settlement of this BS harassment.

pop renaissance said...

that's much better than the proceeds going to v.d.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

AG isn't a pimp! Now are you agreeing or do you want to go on a date with Pop Ren?

missy&chrissy said...

times are tight at loveandcyanide, but we're mentally bidding on you, chuckles!

Chuckles said...

I will go on a date with the winner of the auction. If it happens to be Pop Ren or Res Publica, that would be awesome.

If it happens to be Maureen Dowd, that too would be awesome.

I am just that kind of guy.

Adorable Girflriend said...

OK, AG and Chuckiepants are going on a date.

Largely because AG doesn't see any hot Jews on the list of studs to buy.

Chuckles said...

I have Jewish relatives and a crotch the size of a medicine ball according to Brando.

That made me laugh so hard when I read it.

Jenny said...

Chuckles, I know I haven't seen you in a long time but DAMN you're looking good! I can almost believe you know when you talk about how handsome you are. :P

As to all the other mess, hang in there. You know I'm here (along with a good many others) if you need me.

8-) Jenny

teh l4m3 said...

Hot damn, chuckles, hot fuckin' damn.

robola said...

Will they accept unopened cases of Carrot-Glow brand Orange Bronzer in lieu of ca$h money?

Smartypants said...

Aw, Chuckles. This whole Tucker thing is cah-ray-zee.

Maybe you can hide from Tucker's thug in Cheney's bunker.

Chuckles said...

Will they accept unopened cases of Carrot-Glow brand Orange Bronzer in lieu of ca$h money?

Only from wordpressians. Blogspotoloids need only pay in smooches.

Also, the auction is only for a date not a good, stiff wanging. Wanging costs extra, AG.

fish said...

The restaurant you are thinking of is 1789.

Butchieboy said...

I'm a little confused, here. First, you aren't making this up? Second, what started this? Did you start it, or is he just fucking with you?

Chuckles said...

Butchie, I am not making this up. I will be producing a timeline for the series of events later today.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

AG doesn't wang any un-moyled wang, Chuckie. You and Fishcakes are safe.

Can AG go to dinner with you and Fish when she wins?

teh l4m3 said...

Hey chuckles you are now a Freedom Camp sidebar item -- the whole schlemiel.

antiprincess said...

someone diaried it on DailyKos.

also there's a mention on Comedy Central's Daily Show message board.

I fear, however, that none of this really answers your immediate need for legal-type help and money-type help and sanity-type help. how are you holding up?

Chuckles said...

Actually, I am doing so much better than I was before 4 pm yesterday.

Check out the timeline.

Also, AG has no details about the state of my wang and should keep such rampant speculation in her own head, unless she gains some evidence in reality.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Fuckles, you admitted about a year ago on this blog that you were not moyled. Do you want AG to find it? AG will when she has time and feels better. Don't be a munch!

And Carrie, et.al...if you can get Ezra Klein to enter your date thing AG will pay up to $1k to go out with him! $1K!!!!!!!!!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

pee ess:

teh teh, excellent use of Yiddish. You want bang a gong?

AnnieAngel said...

Annie agrees with AG on the un-moyled wangs. Yucky gross!! Not with a ten foot pole!!!

Does the video store have surveillance cameras??? If so, you can get your lawyer to ask for copies of the tape, quick before Tucker reads this!!

Chuckles said...

I have never admitted anything about moyles and my wang, you jump to conclusions a lot, AG.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Um, no! You did and AG will spend time next week pointing that out --Fuckles!

Chuckles said...

No, you jumped to a conclusion in that exchange.

teh l4m3 said...

What's this? The case of the cantankerous calamari carried to its cruel conclusion???

AnnieAngel said...

So tell us Chuckles.....we need to know. I'll have nightmares if you don't.

K-Bashi said...

Dear Freelance Genius,
Your lawyer friend may have missed this but one law all video store clerks should be aware of:
The Video Privacy Protection Act of 1988 (18 U.S.C. § 2710 (2002)). The Act provides a general ban on the disclosure of a person's rental information unless the consumer consents specifically and in writing.

Link to actual law:
http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode18/usc_sec_18_00002710----000-.html

Sincerely,
K-Bashi

AnnieAngel said...

What rental information did he disclose?

Huh???

None. And now Tuck is libelling Chuckles in the Washington Post.

Got a link to the law on libel?

Auguste said...

k-bashi,

What annieangel said.

Wonkette's headline was what is known as hyperbole.

The Uncanny Canadian said...

Hey Chuckles, congrats on raising the $70. I think you are easily worth at least $87, therefore some lucky lady (?) out there is making out like a bandit. Do we get an update on the events that transpired?