Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Think of the tarantulas, the poor defenseless arachnids

It is highly unlikely that many of the 735 new visitors to this formerly unknown blog know much about my lovely pet tarantula, Helob. Truth be told, I don't know much about him or her. I don't even know what sex or species she/he is, but I respect his/her privacy while still blogging about our relationship much like I respect the privacy of the humans I may blog about meeting in my former place of business. Some people might point out that Constance Rattigan never trusted a man with a pet tarantula, but I would argue against this position.
Tarantulas are loyal and loving pets that ask for very little from their caregivers beyond the ability to tolerate massed cricket song issuing forth from their kitchenettes. Helob is a very loyal pet who has never turned against me or bitten me. She/He has never had an oppurtunity to do either, but that is irrelevant. He/She has also never had the oppurtunity to give me kisses either, but can you blame me? This spider has fangs almost an inch long, they can't be great for kissing.

Anyway, I was tossing and turning last night and I woke up wondering how Helob was taking all this excitement. I walked into my kitchenette and turned on the light. Helob did not move. This is not unusual because she/he rarely moves unless Helob is hungry and there happen to be crickets in the terrarium willing to bet against Darwin. I call these crickets the Creationists. They walk right up to Helob, touch the spider with their antenna, move closer and are promptly eaten. The Darwinist crickets survive longer by climbing to the top of the platic half-pipe cave in the terrarium, making quick scavenging trips to the floor for the apple bits I leave them.

I am worried that Helob may be a little stressed out because there are a lot of cricket carcasses in the terrarium that aren't the dessicated husks that Helob leaves behind. I think she/he may be feeling poorly. The little guy/gal is certainly off her/his feed. That is a bad sign with other animals like horses and elephants, so I am guessing it is a bad sign for tarantulas as well.

9 comments:

Adorable Girlfriend said...

You could sue Tuckbag for his/her/it/bug mental cruelty suffered. And for reducing his lifestyle because you do not have the video store salary coming in.

Chuckles said...

I should talk to the Bug Whisperer.

Paddy said...

He/she is just distracted by all the freaky vibes flowing off you from your close call with punditocracy. It leaves marks man. (or is it stains?

Pinko Punko said...

Whatever you do, do NOT have that spider dry-cleaned!

missy&chrissy said...

maybe feeding helob a bowtie will make him/her feel better.

Anonymous said...

Helob might be getting ready to shed. The tarantula I had for 12 years would stop eating and become fairly immobile in the days leading up to the event.

If you have the opportunity to watch, it's an amazing process. I watched my tarantula (whose name changed with each new exoskeleton) emerge and groom herself for hours. Good luck.

Dr Paisley

mdhatter said...

Hmmm.... what would be a good new name for a tangled web-weaving bug?

Chuckles said...

Well, Helob isn't quite big or voracious enough to be called Ungoliant, but if I had a Brazilian Salmon Pink tarantula, I would call her Ungoliant. Those things grow to be just over a foot across!

Anonymous said...

What a nice tarantula!