Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Toxie <3 You Back, Babe

I woke up this morning from much less sleep than usual and I had the same problem most people do in this situation. I had trouble for the first ten to fifteen minutes differentiating between the dream and the reality. I was sitting on the crapper and I kept wondering where all the somethings had gone that I vaguely remembered harassing me earlier. I was driving a long haul truck from Somewhere, ND to someplace, MA(FL?) and there were little things bothering me. Anyway, I think that for every 15 minute period less than seven hours I exponentially lose details in my dreams. If I get more sleep than seven hours, I don't receive any benefit until after the eighth hour. This mnemomnic aid to dream remembrance peaks at nine and a half hours and then begins to fade. If I should sleep for a whole twelve hours without the help of booze, I have almost as much trouble remembering a dream as I do when I get much less sleep than normal. I figured this out in the shower and I can give evidence in anecdotal form. But it is really boring.1

I was walking to work after stopping at the convenience store for the big bottle of ibuprofen for my arthritis and I realized I should probably lay off the jogging. I think I will alternate with two weeks of rollerblading followed by one week of jogging.2

Anyway, so I got my variably priced coffee and a muffin for breakfast and walked to work.3 In the last block from work, I saw a bumper sticker that read, "I heart Tromaville High School". How awesome is that?5 I am going to leave a note that reads, "Toxie hearts you back" if the car is still there at lunch.

It is a rollercoaster ride of craziness in Geniusland.

1 When has that stopped me before?

2 I have an arthritic hip from an old sledding injury. It can be quite painful if aroused.4

3 7 cups of coffee, 5 different prices, all cheaper than Starbucks. It would be nice if they would post a price, but it wouldn't change my purchase, so why am I bitching?

4 Not aroused that way. Seriously, get your mind out of fulsome's crotch.

5 If the car is owned by an attractive, single woman in my age range, the awesomeness can not be measured with currently available technology. If the car is owned by a cool dude, well, that is pretty cool and I could have a new person with whom to watch shitty movies but it isn't as cool as the first choice.

6 WTF is with blogger's word verification for posts? zhfcker: Maybe I should leave well enough alone.


Adorable Girlfriend said...

Chuckwagon, all women are attractive and you are awesome in this post!

I almost puked when I read the Fulsome's crotch comment. That was quality.

Chuckles said...

I have no comments to make on the quality of fulsome and fulsomegirl's sexual apetit.

Adorable Girlfriend said...


Chuckles said...

I thought you would like that.