Monday, May 22, 2006

Claim Your Cash, emu apple

This was the subject line of a spam I received this morning. Monday has started off this short week with a lot of bludgeoning The Genius about the face and head. First, I stayed up late last night watching The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and then a a second time with the commentary. Did you know that there are parts of that movie filmed in 3-D?

Anywho. I woke up and did all the usual morning rituals1 and even ate breakfast. The milk was at that stage where it still smells ok, but acts like it has gone bad after you eat it with cheerios. I have a rumbly in my tumbly.

Then, I got the high price for my coffee which is still cheaper than Starbuck's, but high enough that I am going to buy, grind and make my own coffee in the morning. I walked to work like usual. I was struck by the need to hawk a loog and some of it ended up on my shoe.

I did not see the green car with the Troma bumper sticker.2 I am more than slightly disappointed but such is life. Whatever, I am going to Oregon this weekend for four days of celebration and craziness. Booze. And hopefully, boobs.

UPDATE: I saw the green Troma car. I left a stupid note about Toxie. I think the owner is a waiter in one of the restaraunts in my block. I bet they are totally creeped out now.

1 I sacrificed two wrens and a bowl of figs to Bacchus in the hopes of greater prosperity and to begin preparations for hangover reduction for the upcoming festivities in Oregon.

2 If life is fair,3 I won't ever see this car again.

3 Which it isn't, just look at Africa if you need confirmation. Or our electoral college.


Adorable Girlfriend said...

Morning rituals involve more than what you described.

Chuckles said...

There was some prayer and the rituals cleaning of the various regions of the body, but I figured that went without saying.

Plus, have you seen the prices on virgin's blood? Almost as bad as gas. No way was I going to waste it on Bacchus. Aphrodite or Hera, hell yeah, but their ceremonies take hours and can only be performed on alternate Wednesdays after an odd Sunday.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I am not sure it goes without saying.

Chuckles said...

Oh, do you rheally want a detailed description of my actions in the shower?

I am getting it from all sides now.

almostinfamous said...

I am getting it from all sides now.


uwzzx: what the mac os x would have been called if 'woz' had been in charge

teh l4m3 said...

Dude. Craigslist, DC. Missed Connections.

Troma Girl.

Chuckles said...

Oh fudge. That is a great idea, teh.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I do want a detailed script.

Oh, here comes the guys who totally dissed on my hottie Jewish Cambridge cutie calling back in the Craig's List. Wasn't it y'all that called anyone who posted there a huge loser or something like that.

Chuckles said...

It is a greatt idea, but I am not the internet love seeker type.

Nor am I the "I Saw You" ad type either. I just move the hell on.

Weren't you, AG, the one offering to pimp The Genius out to your friends? Whatever happened to that idea?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Well, said 'genius' was all, only local girls, blah, blah, blah! You gotta take what AG can offer and you were being picky. AG will working on getting to know a nice DC area girl for you.

Hey, I thought of you today. Ever have any interest in becoming a political strategist? Can you work for an arrogant guy when it will pay off with a major, major job?

Chuckles said...

As long as I get paid every other week and I get to use my brain and not my hands...I'll work for any liberal politician. Provided they aren't cobagz.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Let me follow this up. I know the former wife of a heavy hitter who likes young kids like yourself. No not like that! He likes bright, affluent kids who are willing to take on the challenges of politics. He even provides room and board.