Friday, April 07, 2006

Never Mind

My boss is a total assbag. He shafted me in the review and I got a tremendous goose egg for a raise because of it. In spite of the fact that I saved them thousands of dollars in fees, tech support and temp costs this year. Fuck. Well, at least I am still earning 20K a year! Wheee!

AND ANOTHER FUCKING THING

You dipshit donkey fucking moron, you blamed me for not doing work which you never asked me to do at the fucking shit monkey conference! You motherfucking shit eating son of a rat whore's bitch. You also said I never meet deadlines becuase you hand me a set of deadlines that have already fucking expired and then ask why the work hasn't finished? I am going to rip off your fucking 70s douchebag wannabe porn mustache and make it into a jizz mop and then glue it back to your fucking comb-over nimrod ass head and then cram all your goddam Chaka Khan albums up your wife's ass so far she'll be tasting vinyl for a week! You can't even be trusted to take care of a car and you try to fucking criticize me on all the tech in the office? You thought it was "one of those new cars that don't need oil." How fucking dumb are you? Oh yeah, that's right. You are so abysmally luddite, you type with a gnawed off femur. I asked you to buy a laptop and the only thing it needed was power point and the mother of christ's sister gangraping husbands office suite! And you couldn't do that! Without me you'd be sitting in your fucking chair wondering where your hands were and why you ass hurt! EAT SANTORUM AND DIE! You have as much capacity for rational thought as the crap I just took.

16 comments:

fulsome said...

ouch

amazingone said...

No Don't take my stapler! I'll burn this place, burn it to the ground.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

That's messed up!

teh l4m3 said...

Poor baby.

Maybe this will cheer you up.

(In case SeanS. erases it:

teh l4m3 said...
"My father relies on VA (government) healthcare. Do you want to know what it will be like when we depend on the government for our healthcare needs? Try waiting for over EIGHT hours to see a doctor for fifteen minutes. Believe it or not, that actually happened. To whom? Easy. To my father and me at the Pershing Medical Center in Poplar Bluff, Missouri."

HEAR HEAR! In an unfettered free market, where health care would be treated justifiably as another commodity and NOT as a right, would totally have cut that waiting time by 99%*. And he wouldn't have to rely on generic prescriptions, either!

*Statistics provided by Grover Norquist's puckered anal orifice.)

Chuckles said...

Excuse me while I try to regain my composure. Nope, I believe it is long gone. I am sooooo glad SeanS doesn't live near me. I would totally try and find him and provoke his lame ass tonight.

rggou: the sound my boss makes while drown him in the gutter of a slaughterhouse. He's vegetarian by the way.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Chuckie, what can I do? Can I offer you a job in Boston? It would pay handsome and trust me, you'll see that it's not feeding the rightwads. It's actually amusing, but due to SEC rules, I cannot tell you why. You will just have to trust AG on this one.

I could see what the a Congressman I worked for has to offer in DC, if you'd like. If not, how about medical writing? I have several colleagues who do that and would be happy to assist.

Chuckles said...

You have my e-mail address. They brought up some valid points, but I still saved them thousands of bucks, I still do things the way they want them done and they are teh ones who always declare the deadlines to be flexible. I should have known better on that last one. The real bitch of it is that they don't really have enough work to keep me occupied so now I have to spend my days stretching the projects to fit the expectations exactly.

And I have started saving every email and set of instructinos written down. When the cobag says I don't follow instructions again, I will chiliwhip him with his own crappy instructions.

political_refugee said...

mmmmmmm...Chiliwhip
Chiliwhip? Yuck. What a horrible combination. That is worse than nuts and gum.
You could just quit and work at a video rental place or something. Or you could write your own comic book and put it on the web.
Who knows? I would really like to know what the "valid points" were so I can use them against you some time when we argue

teh l4m3 said...

Go above his head. Undermine him behind his back. Fuck his wife.

DO SOMETHING!

Or, you know, buy yourself a bottle of something spiritous tonight and sip your cares away...

Pinko Punko said...

chuck man, were you able to calmly address some of the concerns without burning bridges?

A true guerilla swims in the river of the people/

Don't give SeanS an opening.

Lindsey said...

So it didn't go well? :0)

I'm sorry, he sounds like a total prick. Maybe it's time to be looking elsewhere.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

We don't have your email or do we? Whenever you comment at RoD the email associated with it is not real unless hotmale.com is truly a place where you spend your time. (Not that AG sees anything wrong with that.)

Chuckles said...

The valid points they brought up is that I seem to work on too much at a time. Well, that may have something to do with the fact that my three bosses never get together to discuss the priorities of their projects tlike they are supposed to do. That was one of the fundamental structures they proposed to solve the problems they were having with the last person in my job.

If every fucking item is top priority and I remind them that they were supposed to discuss this amongst themselves but refuse to do so, how is that my fault. My problem lies in the fact that there is still only six hours, maybe, of work a day. I fucking give up trying to do anything exceptinoal. I will save all of my instructino and follow them exactly. WHen things blow up, I will be protected and probably still fired. At which point I will ask them why they have now had four people in my job who have all said the same thing about the ADs guy. He even said it himself in the meeting, I am not used to working with someone. Well, it has been four fucking years at this job and you have yet to figure out how to work with people.

political_refugee said...

So the validity lies in the fact that somebody else (your boss) does not have people skills?
Also, how can you call "working on too many projects" "valid" if you only blame others for all of those projects. Either a point is valid because you sucked it up on the job, or a point was not valid because it is was the fault of another.
A valid point made by another remarking your work should be one that you can fix, not something that is passed on again to another. Either you are not good at arguing for yourself or you are good at blaming others for your difficult situations.
If it is the problem of another, fix it and do what you were supposed to do in order to take blame from yourself unless you are willing to accept responsibility for your own overachieving.

political_refugee said...

The hardest part about relying on generic prescriptions is the fact that you have to wait for the patent to wear off. That is something like two years.

Otherwise there is almost no difference in the drugs themselves.

Chuckles said...

The only point that I find valid now is that I was confrontational in the week before the conference with the boss who shafted me. He asked me to start and finish a project that he thought up on a Saturday on the next Monday afternoon. The conference started Wednesday morning and teh project would have taken three days to finish the first draft and then another day to proof. I was given 10 hours. 10 hours of work later, I brought up the fact that I wouldn't be able to finish and he said that I just didn't want to do the work. He is a giant douche and expects me to do all sorts of work, but never asks me to do anything despite my daily attempts to get him to assign me tasks.

I am going to write a detailed memo about how I feel I got shafted in an annual review by three weeks of intense work in which the boss lost probably thousands of dollars while I saved close to 5 gs for the company. My bro thinks he is worried that someone will find out he fucked up and is trying to figure out how to pin the shit on me.