Friday, April 21, 2006

Celebrity Dream Cameo?2??, or The Mating Habits of Tarantulas, but not How I Learned to Stop Worrying...

Well, my celebrity dream cameo number 2 was not posted. I am not sure how I feel about that. It wasn't really my best effort. The dream I had involving my younger brother, rollerblades, punk werewolf rollerblade gangs, aliens, predators and the ever expanding nephew was pretty damn awesome. The other dream I had involving Hugo Weaving, Bruce Lee, Hope Chest and a some naked chick that I was (surprise) not having sex with was pretty odd. I should really send that over on my lunch break. Pinko Punko, will you set your fax machine to "Massive Load", please?#

In any other news, I have almost completed moving. All but one box and my bike are in my new place. As yet, I have not been able to make it through to the power company to switch the services and I have not even begun to fight for the interwebs. Helob is not at all happy with the new place and stalks around in a pissed mode. Incidentally, reading spider body language is pretty damn hard. The difference between happy and pissed is subtle. Pretty much the only way to tell pissed from happy is whether or not Helob is currently eating a cricket. In my mind, this explains why so many newlywed female spiders* end up eating their young husbands. Among spiders, many males are completely comfortable with the idea of couples counseling. They don't want to be eaten anymore than I do. Although, I suppose the incidents of cannibalism among spiders would be significantly reduced if the men would stop moisturizing with barbecue sauce.+

Where was I? Oh yeah, when the choice is you life or counseling, I suppose that is a good motivator but I prefer Plato. See the thing about Plato is that he's good and whatever. I was in some shop the other day and I smelled Play-Doh. That stuff was great. If I had misbehaved@ and was banished to my room without dinner, Play-Doh was there as a toy and snack, if necessary. A bit like a boyfriend or husband if you are a female spider.

#Seriously, just ask PopRen about my massive plunger defying loads of dung.
*Spiderellas?
+KC is not great for your skin either. A-1 tends to aggravate ex-ezc-exema although I find it has quite a pleasant bouquet.
@I thought I never misbehaved. I always knew exactly what I was doing, so how is that mis- anything?

15 comments:

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Chuckwagon, why are you surprised he didn't post it?! He bans me for no other reason then I am AG. Pinko is a walking heap of munchload. You know that.

Again with the chick?! I am declaring a FATWA on Chuckles.

Chuckles said...

AG, you know you are just making everything about the banning up. You chicks will do that to prove any point. Like Michelle Malkin or Marie Di'Jon

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Hello, have you not been to the old site. I can only post there when I change the IT address. He banned me and UC can prove it because they verbally discussed it.

And I don't need to make up stuff to you, I got a boss, a boyfriend and a dad, I don't need to fabricate for you.

If you call me a "chick" one more time, I want you to know that you will be staring down the barrel of trouble. Don't go there. Take the agnst over to the munchtards at Shoot Sean, Save the World!

Chuckles said...

chickity chick chick!

almostinfamous said...

you guys are so cute, you should be on the overload

*duck*

Adorable Girlfriend said...

He's just acting out like that because he hopes AG will spank him.

She won't. She'll just moan louder with delight about UC.

Call AG's peeps chicks, will you! T

Lindsey said...

Ugh. Spiders.

Moving sucks..I know you're glad to be done. I'm hoping to buy a house sometime next year so hopefully I won't have to move too much more.

Chuckles said...

I hate you. I hate you so good, Linny.

I also hate all the other people who can say that they want to buy a house on a single income that are younger than me. I am getting paid 60% of median income for my position. I can't even afford my new apartment. F.U.C.K.

Smartypants said...

Chuckles, your bitterness has burned through my computer screen.

Chuckles said...

Sounds about right. Just wait when I start posting pics of myself in June. There will be even more to burn right through your screen.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I hear you Chuckie. I hate right now, but for very differnt reasons and some of the very same people!

Smartypants said...

"Sounds about right. Just wait when I start posting pics of myself in June. There will be even more to burn right through your screen."

That's hot, dude. That's hot.

Chuckles said...

Soon one will be able to fry an egg on my stomach.

teh l4m3 said...

I knew it! The only reason you come to visit California is to defecate in our fair toilets.

Chuckles said...

Pretty much.