Sunday, March 02, 2008

World Tour 2008: The Genius Ages Like a Fine Wine or Scotch...or Cheese

So, Bossy is doing her roadtrip and I am totally stealing her idea. If you want me to swing by your city and show you precisely how I roll*, then clear off the couch, clean out the bong, wash out the funnel, and put the pizza in the oven cuz I am going on a frigging world tour again!

The last one involved a brief stay in London**, Vienna, Bratislava, Poprad, and the High Tetras. If you want me to visit your town, let me know. The list so far includes Bahston, Chicago, Seattle and San Francisco.

* Off the curb and into the gutter?
** Heathrow doesn't count, you pretentious jerk.
*** Who the fuck let this asshole in?
**** I am crashing your chundernozzling cobag-slurp fest.
***** Piss off, ass face!
****** Oooo, now I'm scared, I'll be back, comuffin.

UPDATE: Unless people buy me tickets, this world tour is sticking to the continental countries. If I get to three countries, I will probably be on the run from the authorities. And Anton Chigurh.

18 comments:

Jennifer said...

Oh babe!!! You're welcome on our Chicago-esque or Wisconsin couch anytime!

Snag said...

You're welcome anytime. You know where to find me. We're not Eastern Europe but our home often smells of cabbage.

Jenny said...

Oooohh!!! Me me me me mememememe!!! I know it's ridiculously expensive and I have no idea where in the UK I'll end up within the next few months, but I'll go ahead and guarantee a place for you to stay. If I'm still jobless, I'll even wander a bit with you - I've been looking for someone to have fun with in Barcelona or Amsterdam.

I even promise I won't try to serve you wierd-ass English pizza with egg, tuna or corn on it. :P

Von said...

Where are you staying in Chicago? I'd let you sleep on my couch. We could go out, drink beer, exchange witty banter....

billy pilgrim said...

Sure Jennifer.

Bogart the Wisconsin stop.

The Uncanny Canadian said...

I want in on the Boston!!!

Or, am I already in on the Boston and totally unaware? At any rate, you get hotel-quality accommodation at Chez Lemony as well as Pancakes in the morning. You can't lose!

Just let me know when, so I know when to book the hookers. Umm, I mean, invite some females over.

Chuckles said...

HOOOOOOOKEEEEEEEERS!

Sorry, that was the Senate Ethics Committee giving me permission to get some hookers as long as I didn't buy them dinner.

Senate Ethics Committee said...

NO. PANCAKES.

mdhatter said...

If you go to Lemony then I am SO there. The UC has been to my house... twice! and I have yet to be invited up. Just Sayin' UC, Just Sayin'.

That said, when/if Lemony loses it's appeal, I'm about 25 minutes South in the burbs.

dontEATnachos said...

STAY AWAY FROM WISCONSIN. IT WON'T STOP SNOWING. EVEN WHEN IT'S ABOVE FREEZING FOR SEVERAL HOURS AND SOME SNOW MELTS, IT JUST SNOWS AGAIN THE NEXT DAY TO MAKE UP FOR IT.

ALSO, THEY MAKE US TYPE IN ALL UPPER-CASE LETTERS HERE NOW. YOU DON'T WANT NO PART OF THIS.

The Uncanny Canadian said...

Definitely, mdhatter. If the Chuckles is in, then all of greater Boston area blog club is invited. If he's not, we should get together anyway. Did I mention that I have Red Sox tickets???????

billy pilgrim said...

shhh, dEN. If we trick him up here, maybe we can stowaway and GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS GODFORSAKEN PLACE!!!!

mdhatter said...

UC, we can totally Delish or Disgusting at Fenway. I believe you call it a 'snorkel'?

Chuckles said...

This is going to one bitchin birthday.

Alex said...

Hey fuckface, if you come out to Seattle, you DAMN well better stop by Portland for a day or three.

Chuckles said...

Screw Portland! You bitches can drive to Seattle!

Mandos said...

Dude, don't forget Mandosland. *wink wink* Especially after the Great Frog Stand-up.

KYsoulstealer said...

What no stops in the south. I am really offended. Really!