Monday, June 18, 2007

This Shit is Out of Control

Two incidents last week were an odd counter point to the annoyance of general existence in DC.

Somebody shit all over the Capitol Building. I can almost sympathize with this. There I times that I want to take a dump for change. Or just poop on some Senators.

I also sympathize with the people that called the bomb squad and a hazmat team over a dirty diaper. Diapers are frigging lethal if left to ferment.

One point of outrage: the Virginia legislature and Governor's office are apparently determined to ignore the advice of urban planners and the will of the people. Tim fucking Kaine and the other fucking dipshits supporting the overhead version of the proposed Metro expansion in Virginia have their heads so far up their asses, they can see what they had for lunch two months ago. Let's look forward, jackasses, to the future that is coming whether you fucking like it or not. Gas is never getting cheaper. We will never be able to breath engine exhaust. Step up and take a stance that won't be regarded as boneheaded and ass backward for the next hundred years. Plan for those hundred years and bury the Metro line and create a pedestrian friendly Tyson's Corner. Help usher in a Northern Virginia that is ready for the population expansion of the future and the long delayed but inevitable cost of the automobile culture. Imagine a Virginia that doesn't require 45 minutes to travel three miles. Have some fucking foresight.


Brando said...

NoVa without excessive traffic is like the Capitol without poop.

Claire said...

I read about the shit earlier today... hilarious. There was a phantom crapper in my dorm one semester. Talk about an act of passive agression.

The metro thing is just enough to make your head explode.

Chuckles said...

That just reminded me about the Phantom Shitter in the dorm of one of the Brothers of Indterminate Number. Some kid kept pooping in the shower for a not inconsiderable amount of time. Numerous attempts were made to catch the Phantom in the act, but the kid's identity was never revealed.

Jennb said...

I want you to get help for your anger~

Please do not pooh anywhere I would be forced to clean up!

Mendacious D said...

The Skytrain in Vancouver is electric, and somewhat ironically goes underground through downtown, thereby not being much of a blight. Unless you live within half a mile of the tracks, because the trains run until 2am.

It does, however, get you from the city to various suburban/exurban subdivided and overdeveloped crapholes. So, kind of like DC.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I am wondering if it a dog pooping in the building. i.e. a K-9 or seeing eye. It's not like these folks would not human from canine poop.

As for the train, I agree! I really wish politicians and Americans would get off the gas blankie.

teh l4m3 said...

Happy Gay Pride, fuckles.


dontEATnachos said...

I don't know why people care about this so much. The metro tracks are like a quarter mile from my apartment and I never hear them.

I'll hear the regular trains but not the Metro ones. My grandparents are right next to the MetroRail in St. Louis and you don't hardly hear it.

The 'L' in Chicago is short for Elevated Train and everyone rides that and doesn't care that much when it runs through a neighborhood.

Building stuff underground is REALLY expensive and the cost/benefit is not that high. While the article says they'll be able to do it for cheap, the truth is that most every tunnel project runs into lots of cost problems and doing it above ground is an easy way to reduce risk (which is why the government doesn't want to fund a tunnel based route).

Just be happy that they are actually trying to get this stuff done so flying out of Dulles eventually won't be the annoying pain in the ass it is right now.

Chuckles said...

dEn has a point, but the main problem with doing it above ground is that it is unpopular and not going to solve the problem of Tyson's Corner. There is a big movement to change Tyson's into a pedestrian friendly environment. Apparently, the residents actually want this. I want a Metro extension to Dulles as much or more than the next guy, but I also want sensible planning. Sensible planning for the future includes burying the line and redesigning Tyson's, in mine and others opinions.

dontEATnachos said...

My point is that an above ground Metro doesn't destroy a pedestrian friendly environment. King St. and Braddock Rd. Metros are above ground and there is still a lot of pedestrian traffic around there.

If the Metro rail is going to work like a traditional train line and hard separate areas, then yeah that sucks. As long as they have enough underpasses though, I don't see it as a serious problem.

I'd assume they might do the part around Tyson's the same way they do it around DCA, just up on stilts and not on the 'ground.'

That way it doesn't hose up the traffic but is still cheaper/easier to construct than underground tunnels. I just don't see an underground rail as the only viable pedestrian friendly alternative.

Brando said...

Yeah, the El never dampened foot traffic in Chicago. The maintenence is also a hell of a lot easier, and frankly, having done the subway in NYC and the El in Chicago, I like being above ground as a rider.

Are the Metro trains that loud? I've ridden them but never walked around them.

And on an unrelated note, I just had to tell Chuckles my XBox 360 died. I got the Red Ring of Death. No Guitar Hero for a few weeks.

Chuckles said...

Ok, honesty time. I don't know why the tunnel would be better for pedestrians. I think it has to do with an overall plan for the area and is being basically ignored by Kaine et al. The pieces I have read have been about how bad the Tyson's are is for pedestrians (it is a couple of highways that run through a couple malls, basically) and how people want it changed. How many people? Dunno. Who are these people? Dunno.

I am totally partial in this matter. I want a vastly improved light rail system in every city in America. I want to see us become less reliant on cars to get around our downtown areas. And last, I severely dislike the Virginia suburbs after my experience in construction over there.

I read a great interview of the guy who designed the XBOX and 360 and he basically said nothing for 20 minutes. Nothing other than "everybody loves our product and has no problems with it". I'll put the link on WRN.

Kathleen said...

elevated trains can make for hidey holes for homeless and criminals (think freeway underpass), plus its dark and usually ugly.

Adorable Girlfriend said...


OMG. Dude, my meeting this week has your website blocked. Blocked. I didn't even have the Internet open for more than a second and it was blocked!

Could it be the CNN atennas from next door reigning in?!

Atlanta hates you, dude.

Chuckles said...

AG, they probably detected my foul language when they came aboard. I mean, when you opened the page.