First, a little preramble. There are times when I want to write more stuff about my life, but lately events have changed the way I feel about that. There are more people reading this blog than before the Tucker Incident, but that is okay. One of them is my boss (I HAVE KNOWN FOR A LONG TIME, DO US BOTH A FAVOR AND STOP) and this presents me with a conundrum. I want to feel free to write again, but I don't like my coworkers to be included in everything about my life. If I want them to know about my life, I'll tell them. My brothers also read this, but I am not worried about them reading it, even if it does eventually filter back to my parents though I have no reason to suspect that it has or will.
I am a little concerned with the difference between the way I write about myself and the way I write about other topics, although to be honest my posts since March have all been of lower quality than I like. For instance, how do I follow a post with three links to a plane flight with overflowing toilets with a post about my dating foibles and seem at all genuine? How do I get righteously angry about major issues in federal and global politics while bitching about all the dogshit cluttering my neighborhood sidewalks?* How do maintain any sort of emotional authenticity when the thing I am most known for is joking about having an 80 foot penis?** Maybe I should just say fuck it all! Damn the cognitive dissonance and full blog ahead!
Random fact number 1: I am very colorblind. The best explanation is that the 8 box of Crayola crayons is perfect for me but if you give me the 64 or 128 box, you might as well just punch me in the nuts.
Random fact number 2: I like to sing in my apartment, but totally choke at kareoke. I do not choke if I need to use the announcer voice, just sing. I was rather relieved when the DJ in Chicago denied our song picks, even though he was being a total cobag.
Random fact number 3: I used to be afraid of heights. I was unemployed and I took a job with a gutter cleaning company. I got over that fear really quick.
Random fact number 4: I am not claustrophobic but I think caving would freak me the fuck out, even had I not seen The Descent.
Random fact number 5: I stick to my principles, to the point of getting out of bed with a girl who had voted for Bush in 2004. BEFORE anything sexy happened. Republicans don't deserve the Wang.
Random fact number 6: I play World of Warcraft. This is not very new, but the following information is: Realm: Cenarius. Horde: Chazme, Gorhead, and Tezcatlipoca. Alliance: Haznabel. If this means anything to you, look me up and we'll go questing. We might even find some unicorns.
Random fact number 7: I like to say that I paint and write. When women call me a painter and a writer, I don't disclose that I paint these guys and write blogs. Romance is honesty blended with deception, battered with banter, sauteed in mystery and served with a nice fruity beer.
Random fact number 8: Depending on your interpretation of Article 2, Section 1 of the US Constitution, I can never become President. My parents are two American citizens who were on assignment overseas with the US government when I was born. I only recently passed the required 14 years of residence in the US.***
No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the United States, at the time of the adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that office who shall not have attained to the age of thirty five years, and been fourteen Years a resident within the United States.
Thanks to Cornell Law School for the Constitution citation.
*I think they are both linked in my mind, if we were better people and thought of our effect on other's lives, we would pick up our dog's shit and stop wars.
**And that's just the girth!
***Despite all this, I was a rather sheltered child and remain rather sheltered. Some might describe my life as charmed/cursed, given my luck with meeting famous people and women.