Friday, March 23, 2007

Friday Morning Musing: Is there such a thing as too much Chuck?

I was walking along the poop-laden trails in my neighborhood with a female acquaintance earlier this week. We were talking about recent dating mishaps in our respective forays on the subject. We had a discussion about her situation and I gave surprisingly even-handed advice on her situation. I made my usual disclaimer that relationship/dating advice from me is to be taken only rarely. In this instance, anyone I know and anyone I don't know would have found my advice more than acceptable and perhaps straight up decent. Once I made the discalimer, she asked me about my most recent attempt at dating AKA Global Warming Denier Girl AKA Hot Liberal That Has Been Duped By The CEI (HLTHBDBTCEI).

My friend asked me a question that I found both strange and interesting. She asked whether GWDG had ever seen "Friend Chuck or if GWDG had only ever seen On Chuck." I admitted that it was likely that GWDG had only ever seen On Chuck since we met at a party and only went on four dates before I blew up about her gullibility. We did have one date at a diner and coffee shop and we talked and had a nice couple hours, but our conversations were sparring matches. I doubt GWDG ever saw Friend Chuck. It takes a bit of relaxation around a person for Friend Chuck to come out. I am not paranoid or reserved, but I have acheived less than desirable outcomes when behaving like Friend Chuck on dates. Once we have seen each other for more than a few dates, you have to break out the Friend Chuck or you just become tiresome; always being snappy and slick with the wit wears on a person after a while. A certain amount of relaxation is needed.

This is not rocket science. If I have figured this out, then I am certain that everyone else reading this learned this back in high school or something.

In the last five dating relationships with which I have complicated my life, I have had trouble with my communication style interefering with my libido's wang style. One person said that everytime she reveals something about herself, I reveal something about myself. She also said that it feels like we are frequently in competition in this regard. I had no idea what she was talking about because I thought I was being sympathetic. I would have disregarded this criticism but at least one other woman has said this. So either to totally unrelated people ahve the same psychosis or I am a jackass that has no idea how to express sympathy in such a way as to continue a relationship that seems alright.

I have recently acquired a FREE copy of "You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women In Conversation." The last and only time I read any of this book, I was a freshman in college and fulsome and I had a good laugh reading it out loud with some girls. The question I have is: If I read this book, am I required to turn in my penis? or will I become an even better pick-up artist?

I don't know if I could get any better than I already am, though I would be willing to test the veracity of that statement.

11 comments:

Adorable Girflriend said...

The question I have is: If I read this book, am I required to turn in my penis? or will I become an even better pick-up artist?

And this is why 'On Chuck' gets in trouble a lot!!!! You and teh Schmoopies are going to have to attend AG's MIT course on "Dating 101". AG knows the secrets...

Chuckles said...

Any secrets coming from you will more than likely result in me just getting hit on by more dudes.

No thanks.

Anonymous said...

Don't read that book - it's not going to help you are all because it full of generalization that will only complicate this slow journey you are on. But hey, better late then never.

The Uncanny Canadian said...

Chuckles, the books don't matter. In the end, you are the summation, integration, and product of all the Chuckles within you. Or to more mathematically describe this:

Chuckles = ∑ (On Chuckles * Friend Chuckles / Blog Chuckles + ∫Chuckle's wang)

Or however it computes. The point being that I don't think suppressing On Chuckles or trying to extend Friend Chuckles or whatever permutation you try for will matter at all. Do what feels natural, be yourself uncensored and wangtastic as you feel like, and she if doesn't like it then move on. Only the person that loves ∑Chuckles will be good enough to rock your world indefinitely.

Chuckles said...

I really need to sign a contract with a t-shirt company. So I can wear a clean shirt that has that formula printed on it every day.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

UC, WTF? That didn't work for you. Especially not being a 'real' doctor.

AG hasn't got you hit on by any dudes, Chuckie. In fact, one of AG's friends wants to meet the Chuckles. So, shut it!

Anonymous said...

Chuckles, You need to get laid. You need a good hard shagging. no more theories, no more books, no more talking.
you just gotta say "come on rocket man, let's take this girl to the moon"
That's what I would do if i were. Of course, I used to be kind of a player...or a slut. can't tell. it usually depends on who ends up saying "I'll call you"

teh l4m3 said...

Maybe you should frequent more sex clubs, like John Bolton or Jack Ryan...

porterhouse said...

It's a decent book and will enable you to have more worthwhile conversations with mature women. Like your aunts or mother.

I'm not sure that's the objective you had in mind.

Smartypants said...

Are they accusing you of being a one-upper?

That is a certain self-cockblock.

Chuckles said...

I think that is close to the mark, Smarty. I don't really know.