Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I won't be home for Christmas

Maybe it's just me but I kinda like being alone on Christmas. I would rather work than spend a socially acceptable amount of my non-disposable income on gifts that are supposed to show how much I care for another person. I like giving thoughtful gifts to people, I just don't want to do it when I am told. I would rather mail someone something cool and thoughtful any other time of year than December.

I hate the manufactured emotion that we are all supposed to display during a random day in a random month (that isn't even on the day when the Christianics should be celebrating anyway). Why should we all get together to give gifts on this day? Why not just be happy and familial all year long? The holiday commercials drive me right to drink, too. "Hey, you know that kid you've been ignoring all year? BUY THEM A NEW PHONE AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO TALK TO THEM FOR ANOTHER 12 MONTHS!"

The WalMart commercials running this year are particularly enraging. Is the one day a year only really special if you buy your kids some more trade deficit toys? Or do you want them all to get lead poisoning because you can't stand your life? Shouldn't every day with your kids be special? They're the future and all that.

Man, I like being alone but maybe I shouldn't be left alone for too long. What bitchy asshole I can be.

8 comments:

Dandrobium said...

All of this is why I avoid television. I always liked being alone on Christmas as well. Its better if you can avoid wallowing in self pity. Much better to pad around in slippers sipping hot chocolate and watching the snow fall.

Chuckles said...

It is hard not to say this without sounding like an unrelenting asshole. I think I failed with this one, too.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Give to the Human Fund...

P.S. Jews are looking for converts...

fish said...

"Hey, you know that kid you've been ignoring all year? BUY THEM A NEW PHONE AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO TALK TO THEM FOR ANOTHER 12 MONTHS!"

This sounds like a good deal.

David said...

ba hum bug

Chuckles said...

Looking back at this post, I kinda don't like this anymore. I think maybe I'll try not being such an asshole.

mdh said...

I don't buy anybody presents, and I ask them to return the favor.

The only think worse that having to pretend you like a present is knowing someone is pretending to like what you gave them.

robola said...

In the spirit of the season, I'm going to send you those creepy unicorn clown drawings that were removed from my basically defunct blog. Season's Greetings!