Thursday, December 18, 2008

CDC: William Shatner and the Cast of Every Star Trek TV Series, Ever

This dream happened a little while ago and I have yet to come to terms with the thrashing it gave my uncollected subconscious.

I called up a friend of mine, who exists in real life, and asked her to get me some tickets to the next session of the US Senate. She works for a Senator* and had access to a couple tickets a year. We had a bit of back and forth because of a contentious relationship, but she finally agreed to get me a ticket as long as I promised to wear the proper attire. I reluctantly agreed to her demands.

The dream then morphed into the day of the session to which I had a ticket. I was standing outside the Senate chambers. I was near the statue of Will Rogers, and standing in line with the rest of the ticket holders. I thought this was a little odd, because the Will Rogers statue is outside one of the doors to the House chamber and not the Senate. But it was a dream, so whatevs.

I was wearing the proper attire, which consisted of a futuristic spandex mini-skirt. The skirt was a metallic purple, or blue,** and a little sparkly. Everyone was wearing one. After the second American Revolution, the masses decided that everyone working in the Government would wear the same uniform so that all citizens could identify them as such when the civil servant was not in the office. This was thought to encourage honesty in our government. When sitting in a session, all visitors were required to wear that same uniform. Unfortunately, the one I had gotten was not quite big enough and tended to ride up a little, and I was constantly pulling it down.

After a brief wait, the visitors were invited into the Senate Chambers. The Senators were all seated already and we filed into the viewing balcony. Once we had quieted down, Jonathan Frakes stood up to introduce a new spending bill. William Shatner then spoke in support of this bill, as did Jerry Seinfeld, and Patrick Stewart. The person next to me whispered something about, "that's a simple majority, then."

At this point in the dream, I started to nod off in my seat in the gallery of the senate. After the second revolution, the masses decided that lobbyists had too much power in the old government and had decided to change the voting infrastructure in America. We would now all vote through our digital video recorders, which would be monitored by the new Nielsen-inspired Department of Media Research. Senators and Representatives would be chosen based on the number of viewers and subscribers to every television program. Only the stars of the shows and certain qualifying regular guest stars could qualify.

Thus the three major voting blocs in the US House and Senate were the cast of Star Trek, Friends, and Seinfeld. The cast of all the Star Trek series ever created held a significant margin in both the House and Senate, except for everyone in Enterprise, and Scott Bakula only had a seat in the House due to Quantum Leap. Apparently, the Seinfeld and Star Trek blocs frequently aligned for budget and other fiscal matters, while disagreeing on social policies. While I was slowly nodding off, my metallic purple, or blue, skirt kept riding up. I had to wake myself up every now and then to pull the skirt down, so that I would not be arrested for indecent exposure. At the end of the session, I stood up, pulled down my skirt, and said, "That was better than television." Then I woke up.

*She actually does work for a Senator, but as far as I know, does not have access to tickets, nor do I know if they even sell tickets for Senate sessions.

**Yes, I am still colorblind in my dreams.

8 comments:

porterhouse said...

Hilarious! Makes you wonder who else would be in a government like that...how many daytime soaps would be represented?

almostinfamous said...

you showed up on my CDC too

rotten mcdonald said...

So you gave Patrick Stewart a buffalo shot?

Chuckles said...

Basically, yeah Billy.

mdh said...

Strange, because Gene Roddenberrys's wife (a.k.a - Nurse Temple / Mrs. Troi / all the ships computers) just passed away.

captcha is "penic". that's funny.

rotten mcdonald said...

Nurse Chapel, mdh.

-100 Internet Geek Points, and a fine of 2000 spider bucks.

Chuckles said...

Seriously, BP, I can't believe mdh got that one wrong. She was also...the voice of all the computers from Next Gen on, and played that ANNOYING character on Next Gen.

mdh said...

d'oh