Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Perhaps it is time for the funny?

My mind is a weird place. I am not unusual in this regard. I am perhpas unusual in the frequency and variation of my peculiarities. Evidence: I argue with pretty women about global warming and then they decide that they never want to see me again. Also, I refuse to date anyone that voted for Bush in 2004. That kind of willful disregard for the truth is the same as denying global warming. Further evidence: This paragraph. I did not start this paragraph to talk about global warming and how it is destroying my love unlife. I started it to somehow find a way to segue into the claim that my mind is a strip club.

Rather like the nudity buffer or the water closet of Patrick's love, I am constantly bombarded with boobs in my bored brain. Either that or I should drink more water because I am becoming dehydrated by the sudden onset of 80 degree weather in DC. I am not complaining about the heat, I am merely adjusting to it.

Perhaps I just wanted to share a funny thing I said in reference to the Spice Girls:
"They dance for me, every now and then, in the strip club of my mind."

Memories, in the strip club of my miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind.

And now a little something from Jeff, my favorite character on TV ever and the one I probably resemble most (definitely NOT fucking goddamn dumbshit CHANDLER):

Jeff
: When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name!

18 comments:

Adorable Girlfriend said...

As AG mentioned to both you and UC -- never mention global warming, your mommy or scoialized healthcare on the first date. Even UC tried to hide his liberalism until he had AG under his microscope a bit firmer. UC!! The man who can call family friends 'an asshole' if they have Bushisms coming out of their mouths.

Oh no! She voted for Bush in '04 didn't she? I said it would happen.

Well, there are others across the pond.

Snag said...

That explains why the floor of your brain pan is sticky.

Jennb said...

Did she vote for Bush?? Or are you just too afraid to ask????

Brando said...

I'm sorry, Chuckles, could you repeat the post. I was thinking about boobies.

Chuckles said...

The poles are self cleaning.

Claire said...

AAAHHHAHAHAHHAAHA!!

I knew I liked you, Chuckles, though now I'm a little skeeved if Jeff is who you most resemble.

For some reason I was quoting his hoovering incident this weekend.

You should DEFINITELY not date people who don't believe in global warming or those that voted for Bush, EVER.

Pink Is Neat said...

Dammit, I had safely gotten rid of that Spice Girls song that was in my head this morning, but now it's back.

*sigh*

mdhatter said...

Chuckles, next time I'm in DC. Dinner. I'll play wing. We can find some ladies together.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Mdhatter can no doubt bag babes! Speaking of which, we are trying to get the Chuckman to come to Boston this summer.

Claire, what about folks who were one Bush voters and now see the light? Are they a go or no go?

And Brando...to the couch without dinner!

Claire said...

AG, I didn't think about them... it would all depend on why they voted that way to begin with.

It's weird, though, Chicago is so blue, at least the pockets I travel, that it's never been much of an issue.

porterhouse said...

The Genius is no Jeff. He's far to suave for that description. Plus he knows when he's being funny. Jeff didn't.

Chuckles said...

It is true, I am a Patrick, Steve and Jeff all rolled into one strange creature. But with only one head. I mean, aside from the other one.

Not like I have six feet or something.

And Claire, Chicago is so blue it has a restaraunt called the House of Blues.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Ladies and gents, AG would like to further her angry talk from this week over here by using exhibit A: Chuckles' choice of labels for his post.

AG rests her case and gets out her key chain and swings it like a cheap hooker on a pole.

Chuckles said...

Too bad those aren't real balls. If they were mine, you'd need a forklift to carry them.

Alex said...

So good to see that someone else can marvel at the Wisdom of Jeff. This tidbit is particularly relevant to the Genius:

"I am a prison for sperms. Those poor little tadpoles have been sentenced for life in Jeff Murdock’s groin. And let me tell you, that can be a pretty lonely place."

If that's not Chuckles, I don't know (what? who?) is.

Chuckles said...

The work release programs in the prison of Chuckles' groin are no picnic, I can tell you.

mdhatter said...

your groin is a steel cage? that would explain a few things.

bostongurrly said...

how can you complain about it being 80 in DC, that is the proof of the global warming. as i heard on the radio. just enjoy the heat they will incinerate a million yrs from now, we wont be here
http://singlegirlinboston.blogspot.com
fF