Tuesday, April 10, 2007

My Head Is Separating From My Body Like The Guy In John Carpenter's Thing

I have not had any caffeine today because I have decided I like pain. I am cutting out mochas and cookies in addition to continuing my work outs. I forgot to make any coffee this morning and did not want to buy any, so here I am suffering through the DTs.

I am listening to my music at a comfortable level in my office since I am the only one on the floor at the moment. I don't mean on the floor under my desk scratching at my eyes like I am wont to do on days without coffee. I mean there are only two other people in the office and they are downstairs with their office doors closed.

Windows Media Player just shifted from Architecture in Helsinki's Maybe You Can Owe Me to Ennio Morricone's Theme from The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and my brain just became a 29 dimensional space. That is as high as I could count from all the shivering.

In other news, I bought some music last weekend:
Film Music by Ennio Morricone which has everything a guy could want
Sigur Ros' Space Angel Fetus album (I am not going to try to work out the ASCII on the name again)
Animal Collective's Feels
Wolfmother untitled Frazetta cover art album
Golgol Bordello Gypsy Punk Underdog World Strike
Man Man Six Demon Bag

This fulfills the FDA Recommended Yearly Allotment of Experimental Music. If we factor in Blueberry Boat by the Fiery Furnaces and Animal Collective's Spirit They're Gone/Spirit They've Vanished or whatever the fuck that album is called, if it can be called an album, than I can safely say that I have exceeded the FDAYAEM and am approaching overdose. I plan on buying another Animal Collective album and Broken Hearts by the God Damn Doo Wop Band, the former of which will definitely result in a total collapse of all conversational ability regarding any topic other than music. Poser will tattooed across my forehead and I will locked up with a CD player and some headphones which will only play Pachebel's Canon and Van Halen's Panama in an attempt to cure me.

Also, do you capitalize the the in the God Damn Doo Wop Band or the Fiery Furnaces? I have seen it both ways.

18 comments:

Adorable Girlfriend said...

You have an AG mispelling on this post...

Just sayin'.

Snag said...

I like to capitalize the "H" in tHe.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Snag, is it AG or do you get hotter with each comment? Of course you're married, so your hotness denominator is always going to be lower. :)

Snag said...

AG, my hairplugs are coming along nicely and the dentist has managed to get two of my front "teeth" installed (they're used, but hey, they work).

Best of all, when my wife took that fourth job, I could finally afford Benadryl. That's almost completely gotten rid of my hives from the ferret urine in the carpet of the fifth wheel we're currently calling home.

Call me. Grrr.

Chuckles said...

This is what happens without coffee.

Brando said...

I was always told the hotness factor goes UP when you're married, because you've already been cleaned, polished, and paper trained by another female.

Chuckles, how is Animal Collective? I've listened to a few of their songs and didn't get into them, but they're coming here next month and I may go see them. Any recommendations?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Yeah right Brando, unless you're Fish!

Each women wants her own opportunity to beat you losers down. Sloppy seconds is not something teh gals like. Keep thinking that, though...

Chuckles said...

Says AG but my experience is rather the opposite.

Brando, let me explain Animal Collective the way it was explained to me, paraphrasing and spiffing it up a notch or two:

fulsome: "Animal Collective must be listened to as albums, not songs. Their albums are like symphonies and the songs merely movements therein, to attempt to separate a movement from the greater whole cheapens it and ruins the experience. The time spent is thus wasted."
Me: "So they're like Nietzsche then? Read the entire work not excerpts."
fulsome: "Huh?"
Me: "Ok."

Snag said...

AG, don't you go playin' hard to get on me now. I left my third wife because of that.

mdhatter said...

I made it until 11 this morning without coffee, and only had one cup all day. I love coffee, LOVE coffee, but everything has it's limits.

mdhatter said...

and to AG's point, I remain untamed, yet quite domesticated


(blogger ate my last comment, I think)

Brando said...

AG, you're like my Mythbusters.

Chuckles, I think that actually makes me want to spend $15 to go see Animal Collective.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Chuckles, we've heard about your experiences. They have really worked out for you, ya know! When are you expecting those twins?!

A gal does want a man who is not completely clueless, but women want to fix men. They say they don't but they lie. They lie badly.

As for married men, they never leave the wife -- so it's no real thing to us. And divorced men, don't hate AG, but there is a reason he got kicked to the curb. Divorced men are a rare breed that must be approached with caution. (Much like Chuckman).

Snag said...

Chuckles? Twins? Damn, I thought that was only in Penthouse Forum. I'm impressed.

Chuckles said...

Snag, what can I say?


When you have other people bragging about your conquests online, you win the internets.

The Uncanny Canadian said...

Brando, definitely see them live. It is probably going to be totally crazy fun. I see the experience of listening to Animal Collective as a voluntary mindfuck experience. In the end, you're pretty sure something cool happened, but in the interval you wish you knew why everyone else was enjoying it so much more than you.

I can't say for certain that AG is wrong, but the statistics on re-marriage for divorced men would imply that they are most most desirable. Also, the success rate for 2nd marriages is a fair bit higher than 1st marriages. If you throw out individuals with more than 3 marraiges, who are probably either sociopaths or actors anyway, it is second in security only to arranged marriages.

Jennifer said...

"A gal does want a man who is not completely clueless, but women want to fix men."

Okay, I'm late to this. I haven't had coffee in 3 days and I forgot who Chuckles was...

I have never wanted to fix a man. If a man needs fixing, move on. And that doesn't mean I needed someone who was perfect. That man needs fixing as well.

Snag! I never knew you were such a catch! Grrr! Most women love the smell of ferret urine in the morning.

Chuckles said...

And that, Jennifer, is why we all acknowledge that AG knows absolutely nothing about men. Or women.