Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Showdown at IPK Corral

Last Tuesday's sighting of Starla (Jimmy's Girl from Saturday a week past) must now be filed as a fake sighting. That must have been some other attractive blonde DC lady. Given "Starla's" reaction to our accidental meeting in the Italian Pizza Kitchen (IPK) of just a few short minutes ago, that can't have been her a week ago.

I walk in to the IPK with my brother and cousin to pick up our pizza and there she is sitting with some other friends. Remembering Pinko Punko's advice, I tried to smile at her when we both noticed each other. I smiled and and she smiled back. It lasted about 3 seconds before I started laughing and said, "Ok! That's it! That's fucking it!" I walk out laughing and apparently, with a look on my face that told my brother and cousin that I was about to murder somebody. My cousin even asked me, "so, who are we about to get in a fight with?" This only reinforces my view of myself that maybe I should make an effort to distinguish my angry eyes from my laughing eyes.

After several minutes of awkward glances and smiles, and multiple questions about just what the fuck was going on, and why the fuck was that table full of people staring at me, I asked "Starla" if Jimmy was out with her. She said no, to which I asked her if Jimmy ever went out with her, or if he just stayed in watching TV. She kinda smiled and then asked if I had finished my book. I said that I had indeed and that it was alright but no great source of enlightenment. She then asked if she could take a picture with me.

How could I say no and not look like an angry asshole? Or even more of an angry bastard then my brother and cousin already thought I was. So the picture was taken and we parted ways with a "see you around" and a "have a good night."

My luck is fucking weird.


Pinko Punko said...

I want to give you props, but now that I know you are an avowed story teller, I don't know what to think. Cookie Monster.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...


Anonymous said...

During this incident, the entire restaurant let out a collective "WTF?" All I know is that we walked into the restaurant and Charles did an immediate about face and stormed out leaving a trail of curses and obscenities. Nobody, not even the workers had any clue what was going.

Turkish Waiter, IPK Employee said...

I can also vouch for the authenticity of this account.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...


And that was unusual behavior for Chuckles how?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Remembering Pinko Punko's advice

Hmmm. What have we learned?

The Uncanny Canadian said...

You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes

Chuckles said...

If that's the real Turkish Waiter, I will be extremely amused. And also apologize to him for the disturbance.

The stream of obscenities followed the "HAHAHA That's it! That is fucking it! I CAN'T FUCKING SHIT FUCK MOTHER ASS COCK SHIT BALLS!"

Pinko, could I make something like this up? Maybe, but I would have made it so much better for me if I had.