Tuesday, August 08, 2006

On this day in history

In 1605, Charles the IX of Sweden, an excellently named king, founded the town of Oulu, Finland. There are many scholars who would debate this point, but I interpret this as a sign that the King had been visited by the time travelling rocker, Bjorn Turoque. Thirteen years from now, a man will take a journey that will ultimately end in peace on earth and good will towards air guitar seven years from now. The first step on this journey happened in 2004, when the first US Air Guitar Championships were held in New York and LA. The flames of peace were lit and then slowly stoked over the next 15 years until Bjorn realized his true calling and finished his time machine. He knew that he ad already invented the time machine and gone back to convince King Charles the IX to found the town of Oulu because, in 2017, an archaeological dig had found a stone in the foundation of a building in Oulu from the town's founding with an insciption of a knight holding his hand up in the air and blazing the horns.

Thus Bjorn knew his destiny was to build a time machine, found the town of Oulu in King Charles' name, and then return to his own time of world peace through air guitar. The Finns say it best, "You can't hold a gun while you are holding an air guitar."

Congratulations are due to Hot Lixx Hulahan for besting the wide field of opponents and becoming the 2006 US Air Guitar Champion. Remember to check out Air Guitar Nation at film festivals near you and follow the progress of our US Air Guitar Champion.

7 comments:

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I don't get this love affair with air guitar.

teh l4m3 said...

Bill: I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire!
Ted: And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan!
Bill, Ted: And we are... WYLD STALLYNS!

Chuckles said...

It's my new favorite thing ever that I have just now started doing for my entire life.

My air band's name is Enzyme Intimidated.

teh l4m3 said...

My band's name is Enzyte Ingested. Mind if we open for you?

Chuckles said...

What a boner.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

What he meant to say teh, is that he's got a bone for you.

Chuckles said...

AG, look up.

See that thing that looks a bit like a 747?

That's the joke.