Monday, August 07, 2006

The Genius Explains: Mondays

I have been processing at roughly 50% capacity so far today. Given that my job requires a maximum of 3.89% of Total Available Processing Capacity, you may notice that I have 46.11% processing capacity currently available. This has been slowly decreasing throughout the course of the day as I shut down all non-essential tangents and topics of discussion. Other than the effort required to stream this bit of unconsciousness, I am not accomplishing anything beyond avoiding pissing myself. This is about the level of concentration needed for me to maneuver gracefully through a work day, so I am currently in good with management. I can not, however, remember the vague direction I had a few sentences ago.

I can hear the beginnings of thunder and I would be more than slightly perturbed by this event if I wasn't asleep right now. I have decided that my torn/injured muscle/tendon in my left knee is ignorable. I wanted to restart the workout routine that I have allowed to lapse the last two weeks. I have been rained out. At least I am not getting hit with any pies.

I have a coworker that I find very amusing. This coworker never uses a phone line with a number higher than 3. We have five outgoing lines and she refuses to use anything but 1,2 or 3. Nevermind the fact that all direct-line incoming calls must use lines 1 or 2, they'll just have to call back. I always use line 5 if it is available. I guess I think I have a lower status. In the time of homo habilis, I would have been constantly grooming other walking apes in an attempt to ingratiate myself in the phone society. If you allow me to carry this train of unthought to an extremely silly extent. It is silly because the homo habilis species had been extinct eons before the telephone had been invented. They remain the only species in genus homo that would actually have the social grace to turn their phones off in a theater, but that fact is sadly irrelevant thanks to Dick Cheney.

The only time...fuck it, I am going to sleep.


teh l4m3 said...

Why don't you just pick out and eat my nits, monkeyboy!!!

Lindsey said...

Well, when walking and I come upon an empass that allows me to go both right and left (to get to the same place like going down to different stairs) i always go right or I always enter in the right door of the theater. It's just a wierd thing I have.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Oh Chuckie, you need a nap.

You were discussed last night. I know someone who thinks the Chuck-man is one A-OK guy. That someone is female and it's not AG who said it.

fish said...

I know someone who thinks the Chuck-man is one A-OK guy. That someone is female and it's not AG who said it.

Um, I think that would be by definition...

Anonymous said...

I too think he is an A-OK guy but if any of you told him I think so, I won't be happy camping.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Fishstick, you be quiet. OT: Fish, UC thinks he knows you. Without saying too much, do you know someone named Nancy? Think back to what UC might know about you. If so, he's pretty sure he met you and thought you were zany and kewl!

Oh, Chuck man is A-OK. AG wants him to hook up with AG peeps so AG can keep him around. AG is crossing fingers for MMK getting accepted at Hopkins for her PhD. However, she is a drama queen like AG. It might be too much for C-dawg, along with the how fucked up she is from being raised by military officers who are strong Catholics.

Chuckles said...