Wednesday, December 14, 2005

A moment of your time if you will, for reality...

Well, I had a nice break from fantasy land at work. Two of my bosses left town for a week, leaving me stuck squarely in reality or as I like to call it, happy time. Happy time is a place that I don't get to go to all that often at work, mostly because my bosses live in fantasy land.

For instance, one boss insists that his email problems are solely the fault of the server and ISP and not at all his to bear because he never deletes anything. Even spam. He has over twenty thousand emails sitting in his Outlook folders without counting the Deleted Items that never get erased. His inbox alone had 3500 emails sitting in it from April through yesterday, until I started moving them while he is at lunch. I have started calling these operations Ninja Archiving because I have to do them in such a way that he will never know. Move too much and he willknow I was in his system, move too little and his system clogs. I even make sure I put his chair back in its prior angle and declension.

My boss' computer has more viruses that are beaten into submission by Symantec the Super Soldier than I have ever encountered. One of my roommates once had a computer without a firewall or virus protection. His computer gave up and shutdown permanently in a week. My boss insists that his computer is running so slowly becuase it is 18 months old and must have been bad from the start. He is starting to sound like people who say that crimes are committed because children are born bad and not because their parent's share any responsibility. I won't even get into this crap or the whole breakdown of our society by right wing loonies.

My boss also has several spyware and adware programs installed so that when you run any of his four net browsers, you get a bazillion popups. He claims he likes to see the ads of other companies. And then he calls me to turn his popup blocker back on after 30 seconds or so.

I am not even trained as a techie. I just know stuff because I watch everything people do to my computer and poke around on my own. I have destroyed several computers of my own by poking around, but that is how you learn stuff in Pokey McProdsalot's world. As a complete aside to this whole shebang, I really like my job which might say something about the quality of either my reality or my employment history.

29 comments:

Chuckles said...

Perhaps the funniest incidents have been the times my other bos asks me to find the source of the beeping in her office and it is her cell phone. This happens once a week or so. I work with some old people...

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Not to play one ups. However, I have perhaps the ultimate: I had a former Medical Director who used to make us send email to her Admin about meetings, etc. The Admin would walk printed emails into her and she would write a comment on the printed paper. The Admin would copy the comments onto an email and confirm a meeting. Then, she would record it in Doc's paper calendar book.

Better yet, the woman didn't read calendars, so everyday the Admin spent 10 minutes telling her what her day would look like straight from Doc's calendar book.

That's quality. That's non profit and educated at Columbia University Medical School in 1965. Sadly, that's my every fucking day life!

Chuckles said...

That is: "I am so important I have an assistant to read all my shit to me and wipe my ass. Look at how much of a big loser I am!" A buddy of mine works with non profit bozns like that. They get a little bit of authority and then fight for forty years over their tiny little piece of administrative hell. His roommate was hired to do some net/it crap for a week and then was kept on for two more weeks to do filing at his IT rate, so that their boss could show how big her shecock was.

Ooooooh, you're allowd to hire a temp once and then spend a ridiculous amount of the company's making him file your work. Well, it worked all right. everybody saw her huge, engorged cock for three weeks and never let her hire another temp.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I don't miss non profit one bit. I mean, I miss doing the right thing corporate wise, but well, that somedays was a farce too at the hospital.

Now, I do all my own work, don't let anyone do anything and if you bother me, I will just have you sent to another department to become somebody else's problem. It's more work on me, but in the end, it's really less.

Chuckles said...

Aren't you a scum-sucking, bottom feeder? I'm sorry, I meant to say, aren't you a drug rep?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

No my dear, I actually sleep at night. I have executive status these days. And I never pimped for drug sales. I respect my body too much for that so I don't need to use it to sell product.

Keep guessing...

Chuckles said...

GODDAMIT! fulsome was wrong! I bet you're an executive level madam and you run an escort service you carved out of a shitty existence as a former hooker wioth a heart of gold for a bisexual, Latvian tranny pimp named Rasputina.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

What the fuck is Fulsome talking about me for? He is still on my list. Goddammit!

No, what I do for a living is legit.

Chuckles said...

It's cooler to run an escort service. I interned at one as a child, but it wasn't all that cool becuase NAMBLA was their main client.

Ouch! BURN! Oh, oops, I just burned myself...

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Sorry baby! I went to college to grow up nice and smart and rich. Escort business is good when she pays but bad when she doesn't. Too risky for me.

Chuckles said...

yeah, but as a madam, you get to extort all those bitches.

Wait, I am so sorry. I forgot you are a womenist. Sorry about all that.

But seriously, who goes to college to get rich? I thought only drop outs got rich?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

It's true that the drop outs do pretty damn well. However, I wasn't bag groceries at the Piggly Wiggly and going to meet a nice Jewish boy at 25, 30 or older for that matter. Instead, my degree helped with that.

*Note, I respect all grocery workers of America. I just don't have good enough feet to stand on all day long and deal with the public.

Chuckles said...

Oh, who is this nice Jewish boy you met and how do I introduce him to teh?

You know, so I can have you all to myself...

Lindsey said...

One of my bosses is just like this. Everytime we run virus scan on his computer....we get an ungodly number of viruses and worms. We finally had to take him off of our network for fear he would infect us.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

You KNOW very well which Jewish boy I am talking about!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

It would never work, you're not Jewish. You don't have enough of the N&G that Jewish boys have. :)

Adorable Girlfriend said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
teh l4m3 said...

I like nice Jewish boys, but they have no foreskin. Freakish.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

No, they have nice smooth packages. Shalom!

Chuckles said...

Linny: I just love those people who keep insisting that it isn't their fault they get infected and then proceed to download everything from anywhere.

AG: I guess you just like everything to be bald. Too bad you don't know all that much about me, toots. I have Jewish ancestry and a Viking genetic inheritance.

Chuckles said...

No foreskin = More Stamina!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Toots? It would never work because you would spend most of the effing time on the couch.

If you are a Jewish Viking, say so. If not, don't phunk with my heart!

Chuckles said...

it wouldn't work because of all the looting and pillaging, not because of any couch issues. We have discussed this before...I don't even own a couch.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

With AG, comes make out couch. Uncanny can back me up on that one!

Look at the war you started over at 3B!

And what the fuck is it with Fulsome? That guy is such a tool. Was he the youngest in his family or something? Such a little annoyance.

Chuckles said...

You're going to have ask a clearer question than that. What the fuck is what with fulsome?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Why is Fulsome such a little nudge? He seems to chime in shit that no one cares about as to prove he's in the know or something. I mean I heart all my blogger peeps, but Fullie can really get under my Prada skin.

Chuckles said...

Is your Prada skin made from baby cow?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

No baby calves are not where I get my polyester from.

Chuckles said...

Do you get your polyester from baby ester's then?