Me to myself: What the fuck?
Rice to Bush: What do you mean they're still shooting each other?
Me to bank account: What the fuck?
Rice to World: Why aren't you all friends already?
Me to non-Starbucks coffee: Why are you so good?
Rice to Middle East: Why are you guys shooting each other?
Me to myself: You know why.
Bush to Rice: Jerry Bruckheimer makes the best documentaries!
Bank account to me: Are you dumping me?
World to Rice: Have you ever studied history?
non-Starbucks coffee to me: Because I am fair trade organic coffee without all that added smug.
Middle East to Rice: This is a millennia long conflict, how the fuck do you expect to achieve a lasting peace in a week after ignoring us for years?
In other news, my wang-fu has reached crisis levels on the internets. House cleaning to come later this week. Expect fulfillment on multiple unresolved escapades including Where's fulsome?