Friday Afternoon Philosophy

WHY AM I SO DAMNED GOOD TO PEOPLE?

I just agreed to give away my next weekend to a friend of my parents. He owns a bird watching store and needs help twice a year with his massive seed sale. He sells bird seed (for growing your very own birds) in the 5, 8, 20, 25 and 50 pound bags. I have helped with three of these events and each one has ruined a weekend. I get really damn tired hauling seed bags for a continuous seven hours and get paid seven dollars an hour to do it. I should have just said no this time as I have a steady job now, but his wife is the reason I have the job.

I won't even get any rest this fricking weekend either because I agreed to help my friend's sister move into her fiance's apartment. Sunday, I have to go to church because I want to appear to like people when really all I want to do is help them with certain events and then disappear for the rest of the year. The new vicar is nice and my age and she roped me into spending Sunday evening at some Christian meditation event. So my entire Sunday will be spent at church and I don't even believe! I am an infidel in a fidel's family. But not Fidel's family.

I don't even know why I am so nice to some people. They are the people that just don't matter in my life. I am less helpful to people I care about because I am always doing shit for people that I never see again. Like this girl last night. I walked her to her hotel when I could have just given her directions. She was cute or nothing, I was just bored with the walk home.

Why am I so nice? I never get anything from most of these encounters. I don't think it has anything to do with ethics, either. Giving money to the homeless has no ethical basis, more of a karmic basis actually. If you really want to help the homeless, you need to give to an organization you like. I guess I am just a sucker. These people aren't even hot, usually, so there goes that excuse.